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Clips from This Fool - A Storm Is Coming (S01E01)

"And then one day, every single house that I built fell down."
This Fool
"Because I had no idea how to build houses."
This Fool
"But I knew how to make pizza."
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"I made so much pizza, they called me Hombre Pizza."
This Fool
"[Minister Payne chuckles]"
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"Unfortunately, it turned out that everybody in the village"
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"was lactose intolerant, so, um--"
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"I was asked to leave."
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"- So you never got to help them, huh?"
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"- No, but I learned something very important."
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"You see, I have a bad habit of focusing"
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"on other people's problems while ignoring my own."
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"And I think you might have that same problem."
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"- You know... just to say it,"
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"I think the only issue I had with the doc"
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"was the soundtrack."
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"Yeah, it had way more flute than I'm used to."
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"But you know what?"
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"Some of my favorite movies, I hated the first time."
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"- Get the hell outta here and go apologize to your cousin."
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"- You're right. - I like flute."
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"- Okay. - You try making a fuckin' movie."
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"JULIO: Sorry."
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"- You're welcome, by the way."
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"- I'm welcome? You're the one who should be fuckin' welcome."
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"This is my car."
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"- We've had sex in the backseat. It's our car."
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"- Imma start a GoFundMe to buy you a new Nissan Altima."
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"I want my key back. - Okay, okay, okay."
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"Jeez, I'm sorry."
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"But maybe the reason I borrowed your car was--"
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"- Stole my car, committed a felony, really."
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"- I wanted a reason to hang out with you."
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"You never hang out with me anymore."
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"- We broke up! - Yeah, like months ago. Get over it."
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"- You only wanna hang out when you want something from me."
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"- Oh-ho-ho. Like how you only wanna hang out"
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"when you wanna smash?"
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"- Yup, exactly like that."
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"MAGGIE: Hmm."
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"- But for real, if you pull this shit again,"
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"I'm not letting you come over for Christmas."
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"- Julio Miguel Bonifacio Lopez De La Riva,"
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"if you take your family away from me"
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"and make me go back to mine,"
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"I will beat your ass!"
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"I'm gonna slide down the chimney"
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"and I'm gonna choke you out so hard you're gonna come out your eyes."
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"- Jesus Christ! What's wrong with you?"
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"- What's wrong with you?"
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"You like it."
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"- Yo, pull over."
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"- So you're stalking me now?"
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"- You know it. Give me some chon-chon."
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"- You know, it's funny."
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"One time right over there,"
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"me and the homies robbed these nerdy-ass rocker fools."
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"- That was me and my friends."
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"- Yeah. Those were good times."
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"- Fuck."
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"- I was lying about your cupcakes. They were bomb."
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"And I shouldn't have said what I said about your mom."
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"I miss her too."
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"- Nah, nah, nah, it's cool, alright? It's cool."
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"We were throwing down."
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"I've been shot three times,"
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"it hurt less than the shit you said."
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"You throw punches with your sick-ass mind."
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"- I don't know, I guess I've been pissed at you"
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"'cause you just keep capping on me."
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"- Alright, I'm sorry, homie."
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"I'm sorry, alright? Damn."
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"It's just, you know,"
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"calling you gay was the only thing"
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"that's made me feel like shit's back to normal."
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"- But shit's changed, fool."
This Fool
"I'm a grown-ass man."
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"I even got dental insurance."
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"- Yeah, but you still live at your mom's pad, alright?"
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"Same place as me, homie."
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"- Yeah, but--"
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"No, yeah."
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"- And your teeth are pretty fucked up."
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"- I still got more appointments!"
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"[horn honks]"
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"MAGGIE: Get in the car, losers."
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"Sorry, there's only one bitch seat."
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"- Damn, I thought for sure you'd be a torta."
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"Hey, fool, hook me up."
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"- Hey, Luis,"
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"shut the fuck up before I fuck you up."
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"I'm not Julio. You ain't my family."
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"♪"
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"♪ hip-hop song playing over car stereo ♪"
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"MAN: Hey, y'all ain't got nothing."
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"You don't got me. - You ain't got nothin', man."
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"- You gotta get your money from me, boy."
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"- Yo, I got $20."
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"- Goddamn it."
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"- You want me to talk to these busters?"
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"- No. I got this."
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"- Alright, then, fool, we'll wait in the car."
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"- Ooh, ooh, ooh. I'm gonna film this."
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"- Hey! I'm gonna need you fellas to move your car."
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"- Damn, bruh, but we're kinda racing right now."
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"- Last time it was Blacks versus the Mexicans,"
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"this time it's Mexicans versus Blacks."
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"- Dawg, I'm Salvadoran."
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"Man, we talked about this."
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"- Move your fucking car!"
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"- Whoa, bro."
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"Watch your tone."
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"We don't play like that."
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"- You wanna die, homie?"
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"- Yes! Please! Kill me, bitch!"
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"I don't live to live!"
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"- What?"
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"- I'd rather die than let you fools walk all over me."
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"Because that's my thing!"
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"I focus on other people's problems to avoid dealing with my own."
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