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Clips from This Fool - A Storm Is Coming (S01E01)

"And don't give her any problems or I'll beat your ass."
This Fool
"[gun cocks] [tires screeching]"
This Fool
"- Okay, I won't."
This Fool
"And then I said, "Thanks for not shooting me!""
This Fool
"- Hey, no offense, my boy,"
This Fool
"but you come off like a punk-ass bitch in that story."
This Fool
"- That's my point."
This Fool
"My cousin spent the last eight years in prison."
This Fool
"Meanwhile, I'm out here living my best life."
This Fool
"I even got dental insurance."
This Fool
"Look. Check it out."
This Fool
"Get in here."
This Fool
"- Man, your teeth still look pretty fucked up, though."
This Fool
"- Yeah, but guess what?"
This Fool
"They used to be even more fucked up."
This Fool
"Look, you're gonna do what you're gonna do."
This Fool
"But studies show that the life expectancy of a gangster,"
This Fool
"on average, 24 years old."
This Fool
"But the life expectancy of a punk-ass bitch?"
This Fool
"76 years old."
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"Orientation is at 10:00 tomorrow."
This Fool
"Don't be late."
This Fool
"There's gonna be orange juice."
This Fool
"[tires screeching] [rock song playing over car stereo]"
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"Maggie?"
This Fool
"[music stops] [cell phone rings]"
This Fool
"- Oh, hey, Julio, what's up? You need something?"
This Fool
"- Did you just steal my car?"
This Fool
"MAGGIE [over phone]: Excuse me?"
This Fool
"Don't use that word with me."
This Fool
"My car broke down, so I borrowed yours to run errands."
This Fool
"I'll bring it back tonight, beggar."
This Fool
"- When did I say you could borrow my car?"
This Fool
"- Remember when you left your spare key at my house"
This Fool
"that one time on accident? - Yeah?"
This Fool
"MAGGIE: Then do the math, bitch."
This Fool
"Oh, by the way, your check engine light is on."
This Fool
"Julio, that's dangerous. I should be the one who is mad."
This Fool
"You know what, actually?"
This Fool
"How fucking dare you? You put me in danger."
This Fool
"Why the fuck would you do that to me?"
This Fool
"- Well, bring it back then. I gotta pick up Luis."
This Fool
"- No shit."
This Fool
"They're letting your cousin out?"
This Fool
"Man, the prison system is stupid."
This Fool
"- Actually, he's gonna stay with us for a while."
This Fool
"Imma help that fool get his life together."
This Fool
"Take that fool under my wing."
This Fool
"[Maggie sighs deeply]"
This Fool
"- You know, Julio, you really are the nicest ex I have."
This Fool
"That's why I thought you'd be cool if I borrowed your car."
This Fool
"But if you want me to bring it back, that's fine."
This Fool
"- Thank you."
This Fool
"- I'll just call another ex."
This Fool
"Maybe Carlos."
This Fool
"We're talking again."
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"BEN [over microphone]: The Black man is the original man."
This Fool
"And Latinos, Asians, and Native Americans are all our children."
This Fool
"Now some of you make me proud,"
This Fool
"but some of you are not men."
This Fool
"You may have the body of a man,"
This Fool
"but possess a child's will."
This Fool
"Stand up for the word of the Lord."
This Fool
"A storm is comin'!"
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"- Sorry I'm late!"
This Fool
"LUIS: Damn, you run slow."
This Fool
"You should have brought your roller skates."
This Fool
"- They were roller blades."
This Fool
"It's different."
This Fool
"- So... where's your ride at, primo?"
This Fool
"- I let my homegirl borrow it."
This Fool
"But don't worry, I got you."
This Fool
"I'll call us an Uber."
This Fool
"Uber is like the taxi of the future."
This Fool
"- [mocking Julio] Uber is like the taxi of the future."
This Fool
"I know what Uber is, pendejo."
This Fool
"Eh, talking to me like that."
This Fool
"Actually, they have Uber in prison."
This Fool
"Yeah. His name is Thumper."
This Fool
"And if you give him a pack of cigarettes, he'll carry you around, like, hey."
This Fool
"It's pretty convenient."
This Fool
"Damn, my boy. I haven't seen you forever."
This Fool
"Hey, for real though,"
This Fool
"why does your body still look 19"
This Fool
"but your face looks 56, fool?"
This Fool
"[Luis laughs] - Yup."
This Fool
"- You got Edward James Olmos' face."
This Fool
"- Welcome back, fool. I missed you too."
This Fool
"- Ehh."
This Fool
"Don't be nasty, alright? We're family."
This Fool
"I don't get down like that."
This Fool
"- Cool. Yeah. Okay."
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"[indistinct chatter in Spanish]"
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"[chatter continues]"
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"AIDEN: I'm gonna beat your ass, Michael!"
This Fool
"- Hey, hey, Aiden. Come here."
This Fool
"Gotta be more careful, alright?"
This Fool
"You almost just broke this photo of me and my mom."
This Fool
"I'm gonna forgive you because you're a little homie."
This Fool
"But if this was a level four yard, I would've stabbed you."
This Fool
"You understand?"
This Fool
"- Yeah."
This Fool
"- Okay."
This Fool
"Now, come here. Give me a hug. I'm your tío Luis, alright?"
This Fool
"I love you, mijo."
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"- Julio. Julio!"
This Fool
"- Eh, who let the Mexican Oompa Loompa in here, huh?"
This Fool
"Oompa!"
This Fool
"[kids laughing]"
This Fool
"- Hey, what's up with that tarp I saw on the roof?"
This Fool
"ROCIO: Yeah, teach his ass."
This Fool
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