Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Family Guy - Pawtucket Pat (S19E19)

"♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ But where are those good old‐fashioned values ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ On which we used to rely? ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ All the things that make us ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Laugh and cry ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy. ♪"
Family Guy
"TV ANNOUNCER: ESPN now returns to our 30 for 30 documentary"
Family Guy
"on the Houston Astros cheating scandal."
Family Guy
"We knew the Astros were stealing signals."
Family Guy
"Someone was back there banging on a trash can."
Family Guy
"We just couldn't figure out who."
Family Guy
"NARRATOR: Several players were interviewed by the league,"
Family Guy
"but none would reveal the mastermind"
Family Guy
"of this garbage can scheme."
Family Guy
"Hey, everyone. I have some news."
Family Guy
"I got a job writing for Quahog's top website, The Hog."
Family Guy
"Starting tomorrow, I'm an online journalist."
Family Guy
"Isn't The Hog that stupid pop culture site"
Family Guy
"with those lame quizzes telling you what character"
Family Guy
"you are in a show?"
Family Guy
"Peter's mad 'cause he always gets Barney Rubble."
Family Guy
"If I were mad, would I laugh like this?"
Family Guy
"(laughs)"
Family Guy
"I don't think so."
Family Guy
"Congratulations, Brian."
Family Guy
"Yeah, we're all very happy for you."
Family Guy
"Thanks. I'm really excited."
Family Guy
"And I totally nailed the interview."
Family Guy
"So, Brian, I got a great recommendation"
Family Guy
"from your last employer."
Family Guy
"Yes, I worked for Mr. Skin at five dollars a pun."
Family Guy
"You know, I came up with Halle's Berries,"
Family Guy
"Elle Fanny, Abigail Breastlin."
Family Guy
"You're really good at sexualizing children."
Family Guy
"- I‐Is that a problem? - No, no, no."
Family Guy
"That's a big part of online journalism."
Family Guy
"Now, let's have a look at your sample material."
Family Guy
"Well, I've got a listicle of alcohol brands"
Family Guy
"that are also guys' names."
Family Guy
"Whoa! Talk about bursting out of the gates."
Family Guy
"Cardi B tweeted something and I retweeted it"
Family Guy
"with "This, this, this, this, this.""
Family Guy
"Wow. That is some top‐shelf journalism."
Family Guy
"And here's some pictures of cute animals"
Family Guy
"that wives can shove in their husbands' faces"
Family Guy
"to keep them from ever going to sleep."
Family Guy
"Brian, stop. I can only hire you so many times."
Family Guy
"Welcome to The Hog."
Family Guy
"I'll ask my roommate to move his car so you can pull out."
Family Guy
"Cup of joe and a greasy roll, please."
Family Guy
"Okay, whatever this is, I already hate it."
Family Guy
"Sorry, I'm up against a deadline on a big story."
Family Guy
"Major ramifications. Lid, prepare to be blown off."
Family Guy
""Best butts to sniff at the park.""
Family Guy
"I, um, I don't... I‐I don't think"
Family Guy
"this is an article for human readers."
Family Guy
"Now hold on there, Stewie, just hear the man out."
Family Guy
"Thank you, Chris."
Family Guy
"I also posted a couple of articles last night."
Family Guy
"Real think pieces."
Family Guy
""Star Wars movies ranked best to worst"
Family Guy
"except for the two I haven't seen.""
Family Guy
"Well, that seems lazy. And which two didn't you see?"
Family Guy
"Uh, the original Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back."
Family Guy
"I'd still rather read that than "9/11s since 2000"
Family Guy
""ranked best to worst."
Family Guy
"Number one may surprise you.""
Family Guy
"September 11, 2014?"
Family Guy
"We lost Richard Kiel, the actor who portrayed Jaws"
Family Guy
"in the James Bond films."
Family Guy
"♪ ♪"
Family Guy
"All right, let's see what's on demand."
Family Guy
"TV ANNOUNCER: Thank you for watching Cox Cable On Demand."
Family Guy
"We have a lot of great movies,"
Family Guy
"like Guy Ritchie's Snatch on Cox."
Family Guy
"All right..."
Family Guy
"And we've got other great features."
Family Guy
"If you want to see Carrie, Blow, Big, Shaft"
Family Guy
"and the 2008 indie hit Choke, you need Cox."
Family Guy
"Okay, I... I guess they're all movies."
Family Guy
"And if you're looking for comedy,"
Family Guy
"check out performers Lewis Black, Andy Dick,"
Family Guy
"- and Ed Lover... - Peter, turn off the TV."
Family Guy
"All right. Guess who just wrote ten facts"
Family Guy
"you didn't know about Jerry Seinfeld."
Family Guy
"Is one that he's Jewish?"
Family Guy
"- (clicks) - Guess who just wrote nine facts"
Family Guy
"you didn't know about Jerry Seinfeld."
Family Guy
"He likes classic cars?"
Family Guy
"- (clicks) - Guess who just wrote eight facts"
Family Guy
"you didn't know about Jerry Seinfeld."
Family Guy
"You probably said he was Jewish a second time."
Family Guy
"- (clicks) - All right, new article,"
Family Guy
""One Fact You Didn't Know About Michael Richards.""
Family Guy
"You can't use that word in an article."
Family Guy
"And I will find a new show to write about."
Family Guy
"Hey, I'm working on a story about fat guys"
Family Guy
"belly‐flopping onto cement."
Family Guy
"Will you put on these roller skates and go clean the gutters?"
Family Guy
"I'm not doing that."
Family Guy
"It might get retweeted by Joe Rogan."
Family Guy
"Ooh. I'll do anything Joe Rogan says."
Family Guy
"I think he's the best dumb guy king we've ever had."
Family Guy
"When this story breaks, it's gonna be big."
Family Guy
"Like when Horton heard The Who."
Family Guy
"♪ All right... ♪"
Family Guy
"That's not singing,"
Family Guy
"- it's just screaming. - ♪ Yeah! ♪"
Family Guy
"Okay, I have to write an article on the life"
Family Guy
"of the town's hero and brewery founder, Pawtucket Pat."
Family Guy
"Now, where's the normal, well‐adjusted person"
Family Guy
"who works in a small‐town archive?"
Family Guy
"Yes?"
Family Guy
"I, uh... I'm‐I'm looking for some old manuscripts."
Family Guy
"Excellent. Bats, take me to him."
Family Guy
"(squeaking)"
Family Guy
"Okay, this is everything they have on Pat."
Family Guy
"God, I bet no one's even read most of this stuff before."
Family Guy
Show more clips