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Clips from Archer - Archer: 1999 -- Bort the Garj (S10E10)

"Aha! Potentially deadly."
Archer
"I'm not having this argument again."
Archer
"[chuckles] Apparently you are."
Archer
"-No, I'm not."
Archer
"Aborting docking sequence."
Archer
"Yes, you a... [grunting]"
Archer
"-Damn it, Lana! -Aborting docking seq..."
Archer
"-BOTH: Krieger! -Guys, come on."
Archer
"We've been over and over and over this."
Archer
"The Laws of Robotics..."
Archer
"Is made-up shit from a comic book."
Archer
"[gasps]"
Archer
"-Sorry. -Don't be. It had to be said. -[thump]"
Archer
"-[muffled screaming] -[overlapping chatter]"
Archer
"-CHERYL: What the shit? -[muffled splat]"
Archer
"-[all gasp] -Oh, my God."
Archer
"[muffled grunting, straining]"
Archer
"-PAM: What is that? -MALORY: Oh, my God,"
Archer
"-what the hell... -KRIEGER: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Everybody, shh."
Archer
"[grunting]"
Archer
"[pop]"
Archer
"-Aah! -Kill it! -Boy!"
Archer
"[panting]"
Archer
"Whew."
Archer
"-Are... -[screaming]"
Archer
"[footsteps pattering away]"
Archer
"Happy?"
Archer
"I'm... happy you're not."
Archer
"PAM: What the hell was that thing?"
Archer
"I think the more pressing question is..."
Archer
"No, Krieger, for the millionth time,"
Archer
"-you'll never be a real boy. -I was going to say..."
Archer
"I think it's more tragic than anything."
Archer
"-You're one to talk. -[gasps]"
Archer
"-I was going to say... -Ooh!"
Archer
"When will you be a real boy?"
Archer
"What the hell was it running from?"
Archer
"Um..."
Archer
"-[all exclaim] -Son of a..."
Archer
"[growling]"
Archer
"Dri'n dak! Dak txakurrak!"
Archer
"Oh, yeah? You want some of this?"
Archer
"Ow!"
Archer
"I think they might, actually."
Archer
"Dri'n bastards. Krieger, blast door."
Archer
"Yep, yep, yep."
Archer
"[muffled growling]"
Archer
"-That oughta hold 'em. Okay... -Hang on."
Archer
"Shut up. Krieger, undock us."
Archer
"Cyril, Pam, Carol, grab a weapon,"
Archer
"split up, and find that xenomorph."
Archer
"For all we know he's a Trojan horse."
Archer
"-He was pretty rubbery. -[laughing]: So stupid."
Archer
"Right?"
Archer
"And if you can temporarily de-ass your head,"
Archer
"want to get us out to here?"
Archer
"Why? We can take these assholes."
Archer
"-[crashing] -[all scream]"
Archer
"-COMPUTER: Hull damage. -You were saying?"
Archer
"-[sighs] -Hull damage."
Archer
"-[alarm blaring] -Hull damage."
Archer
"-Hull damage. -I heard you."
Archer
"ARCHER: Okay, Krieger, we clear?"
Archer
"KRIEGER: Yep, yep, yep!"
Archer
"ARCHER: Okay then."
Archer
"Everybody brace for initial thrust."
Archer
"In three..."
Archer
"-Whoa! -God..."
Archer
"-Damn... -Son of a..."
Archer
"-Bitch! -Ow!"
Archer
"[laughs]"
Archer
""Woooooo!!""
Archer
"RAY: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no"
Archer
"-no, no! -[ceramic shattering]"
Archer
"[sighs]"
Archer
"Can't have anything nice."
Archer
"Never gets old, does it?"
Archer
"Nope. Unlike some people."
Archer
"Excuse me?!"
Archer
"Lana, handle your business."
Archer
"There's a giant squeezy toy on the loose."
Archer
"LANA: I'll squeeze your... Damn it!"
Archer
"ARCHER: [laughs] Got nothing."
Archer
"Okay, keep your crazy eyes peeled."
Archer
"And watch your muzzle, will ya?"
Archer
"I'm not trying to get blasted in the face."
Archer
"-Well, I'm not trying to get slimed. -What?"
Archer
"It's not a ghost, dumbass."
Archer
"-How do you know? -[scoffs] Because nothing's a ghost."
Archer
"-[thump] -[gasps] -Shh."
Archer
"You open it on three."
Archer
"Ready?"
Archer
"One..."
Archer
"-[gasps] -[yelps] -Oh, for... You pussy."
Archer
"You're supposed to belooking for the damn xenomorph."
Archer
"I'm checking all the storage lockers."
Archer
"This one's clear."
Archer
"[footsteps pattering]"
Archer
"On me."
Archer
"-Freeze! -Don't shoot, don't shoot!"
Archer
"Let me see those hands!"
Archer
"I... I don't have any."
Archer
"-Duh-hoy. -Shut up."
Archer
"Okay, so who or what are you?"
Archer
"I... W... I'm Bort."
Archer
"Bort the Garj?"
Archer
"-Of the House of Garj? -Well, Mr. Bort the Garj,"
Archer
"just, what do you think you're doing?"
Archer
"Eating off-brand cereal."
Archer
"No, the passengers were from all over."
Archer
"I was the only Garj, and soI was able to hide in the walls"
Archer
"when they attacked the transport."
Archer
"And after they killed all the crew, they just..."
Archer
"took everybody."
Archer
"To sell into the spek mines, no doubt."
Archer
"So how do you know English?"
Archer
"-Is... that relevant? -Yeah, Lana."
Archer
"I mean, why does anybody know it?"
Archer
"I mean she does. She's obviously not human."
Archer
"-But not so obviously a she. -Hey!"
Archer
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