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Clips from The Monkees - Monkees Get Out More Dirt (S01E01)

"My shirts always come back from the laundry with buttons missing!"
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"Uh, Mike, Mike, uh, listen, I'm gonna get some soap."
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"Well, b-but, Peter is-"
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"Um, excuse me, miss, but, uh... ha..."
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"have you got..."
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"Yes?"
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"S-s-s-s-soap? Soap? Soap?"
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"I gotta get some soap. Listen, do you have any so...?"
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"Soap... Soap... Soap... Soap..."
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"What the...? What's going on? What's going on with you guys?"
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"- Soap... soap... soap... - Soap?"
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"- Soap... soap... soap... - Oh! What is this, soap?"
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"Soap... soap... soap..."
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"Here we come Walkin' down the street"
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"We get the funniest looks from Ev'ry one we meet"
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"Hey, hey, we're the Monkees And people say we monkey around"
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"But we're too busy singing To put anybody down"
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"We're just tryin' to be friendly Come and watch us sing and play"
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"We're the young generation And we've got something to say"
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"Hey, hey, we're the Monkees You never know where we'll be found"
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"So you better get ready,"
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"We may be comin' to your town"
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"Soap... soap... soap..."
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"Um, I gotta go back and get my laundry."
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"You're wearing it."
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"Oh."
The Monkees
"Well, um-"
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"Uh... My aunt! Oh! I just remembered! I have a sick aunt!"
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"Oh, she's so sick, she's dying! I didn't tell you my, oh, my poor aunt!"
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"Uh, I gotta go see my aunt, seven years I haven't seen my aunt."
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"She lives in Duluth or something or Bugscuffle."
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"Uh, really, my sick aunt, I have to, my-I'm coming, aunt,"
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"your poor nephew is coming. Seven years, my poor aunt..."
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"Um, I'm, uh, gonna run down to the store and, uh, buy some dog food!"
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"- Hey, hey, wait, wait, wait! - What, what, what?"
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"We don't have a dog."
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"Well, I'll, uh, I'll run down to the store and pick up a dog too. Huh huh."
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"Dogs are nice, y'know, you can pet 'em, and, uh, and love 'em,"
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"and take fleas off of 'em, and put fleas back on 'em, and, uh,"
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"besides that, dogs play with cats, and..."
The Monkees
"and we don't have a cat either... um, uh, bye!"
The Monkees
"He'..."
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"A dog?"
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"Men?"
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"You know? You know I think I'd like to be?"
The Monkees
"Hm?"
The Monkees
"I think I'd like to be a boxer."
The Monkees
"Fighting three at a time, sometimes four, pow, pow, pow!"
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"Uh! You know what a boxer has to do a lot of though?"
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"- What? - Road work."
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"Gee... Micky's gone to see his aunt, and Mike's gone out to get dog food,"
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"and Davy's doing road work... I'm all alone, I..."
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"I think I'll go see April!"
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"Hello!"
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"Oh, hello!"
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"Can I help you?"
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"Well, I-I was just running by and I, I thought I'd, um..."
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"Yes?"
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"Wh-wh-what are you doing?"
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"That's for my postgraduate studies."
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"Oh?"
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"I'm an alumnus at the laundromatic institute of San Radu."
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"I majored... in laundry science."
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"Oh, really?"
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"Yeah."
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"Huh. You should do well in that business."
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"Well, you may not realize it, but laundry is a science."
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"Like astronomy, physics..."
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"What are you doing here?"
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"April and I are having a private conversation about laundering science."
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"It's a science, you know!"
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"Yeah?"
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"Yeah, that's right; it's like astrology. What are you doing here?"
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"Huh? What am I-? Well, um, well, I thought, uh,"
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"come down and-and-and-and-and see another commercial. Ha ha! What's that?"
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"I'm working on my doctor's thesis."
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"Oh. Why can't your doctor work on his own thesis?"
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"What, what are you doing here?"
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"Yeah, what are you do-uh-doing here?"
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"Uh? Oh. I was passing by,"
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"I thought I'd come in and see my old lint. Uh lant. Aunt!"
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"Uh, why, why don't you tell us more about laundering, April?"
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"Well, do you realize that all over the world"
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"there's a great reservoir of untapped dirt."
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"You know, there's a touch of poet in her."
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"Uh-huh."
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"Well, how do we conquer that brave new world of dirt?"
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"I'll tell you. The answer is... the washing machine!"
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"Don't you think she's a little tall for you?"
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"Well, she didn't seem to mind."
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"Yeah, well, she wouldn't mind; she didn't know you're alive."
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"Hey, come on, come on, guys, before we say something we're gonna regret."
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"Hello. This is Doctor Lorene Sisters again."
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"Answering your questions about love and family problems."
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"Bringing the cool light of reason into your messy little lives."
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"She has the touch of the poet."
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"What are we watching this for, man?"
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"Will you be quiet? Maybe we'll learn something."
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"And now for our first letter. "Dear Doctor Sisters,"
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"what is the best way to win the girl you love?"
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"Signed, Anguished." My dear Anguished,"
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"the fastest way to a woman's heart is through her mind."
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"You know, I would never have thought of that route."
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"If you really want to win the girl you love,"
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"find out what kind of man she likes, and then be that man."
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"Uh, hello. Uh, Mrs. Conquest? Um, this is, uh,"
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"David Armstrong Jones of the British BBC. Uh heh. That stands for Better Be Clean."
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"Uh, hello, Miss April Conquest? Yes, well, hello there."
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"Uh this is Doctor Frigmund Fried. Freed. Yeah, Freed."
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"And, uh, I'm with the University of Heidelberg, and I... Heidelberg, Germany."
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"Hello, Miss Mifflin? Uh, yeah, listen, you're April Conquest's neighbor,"
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"and I called to find out about any hobbies she's got."
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"Hi. This is tele-a telephone quiz from station M.O.T."
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"Uh, I was, uh, doing a little research here on women,"
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"and since you're a woman, are you ever a woman."
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"No, I didn't hang up... I... sorta got hung up."
The Monkees