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Clips from The Monkees - Monkees Get Out More Dirt (S01E01)

"Tormented, you say in the rest of your heartbreaking and ungrammatical letter"
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"that you boys have made this girl fond of each of you by taking on interests she likes."
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"That's right, what of it?"
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"I'll tell you what of it! You've placed this girl in a dangerously emotional state."
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"She's now drawn to four different boys,"
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"and this unresolved conflict could lead to a nervous collapse."
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"You gotta be kidding!"
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"Do I look like a kidder?"
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"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!"
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"Oh is it? I have here in my hand another letter from a girl"
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"telling how she is in love with four boys;"
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"it's signed Miss Laundromat."
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"Laundromat?"
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"Yes, Laundromat. And she tells in this letter that's she's so close to"
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"a nervous collapse that she's too nervous to even write this letter."
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"That's nervous."
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"And don't forget collapse."
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"Collapse!?"
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"Let's put it to her directly and let April make up her own mind, man..."
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"She's-she's sick, it's a nervous breakdown, she had the collapse!"
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"- It's our fault. - It's all our fault!"
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"Wait a minute, wait a minute, hold it, hold it!"
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"Gotta stay cool and think."
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"Look, Saturday is April's biggest day, right?"
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"Right."
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"And, and if she's closed today, she may go out of business."
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"Well, maybe we oughta start by getting out of"
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"the confusion of the, of loving the four of us."
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"Right."
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"Right, yeah. Hey, we gotta choose for it. Okay."
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"One, two, three!"
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"I lost."
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"No, Peter, you won."
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"I did?"
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"Peter, you stay here and go in,"
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"and the three of us will go over to April's house,"
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"and when we get back, she'll be all yours."
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"All of her?"
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"Hey, I think we chose the wrong guy."
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"Let's make it two out of three, heh."
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"Come on, will ya please?"
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"Hey! Wait, wait! How do I get in if the door's locked?"
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"Peter, you can't expect the writers to know everything. Improvise!"
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"And Peter gets this?"
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"Let's, let's, uh, make it two out of three."
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"- Yes! - Oh, come on, you guys."
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"Don't you know what it's like to be a good loser?"
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"Uh-huh. It makes me sick to my stomach."
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"Shh! She's waking up!"
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"Oh. Davy. Micky. Mike."
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"Hi, hi April."
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"- Hi. - Hi."
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"What are you doing here?"
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"Y-y-your mother said it'd be okay if-if-if we came over here,"
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"and we tried to cheer you up or something, you know."
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"Davy?"
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"Yes?"
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"We'll paint together soon, won't we?"
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"Oh yeah, we're gonna be painting all the time, yeah-"
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"No, no, we're not gonna paint."
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"Painting's a drag. It's a drag."
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"The paint gets up your nostrils and your toenails and your ear."
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"No. You're better off with Peter."
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"Oh. Micky, have you been to the ballet lately?"
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"The ba-ba...? Oh, no, ballet, yeck! Bleh! Dancing on your toes, ah, that's ridiculous."
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"No, I'm a tree surgeon now, but I don't make any house calls,"
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"so you're better off with Peter."
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"Mike! Don't tell me... you've given up motorcycles?"
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"Given 'em up? Huh, are you kidding?"
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"Of course I've given 'em up. They're horrible."
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"No, I, I've taken up skydiving."
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"Oh! Oh!"
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"You like that? Uh, but, um, I'm, I've got, uh, one, one problem."
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"You see, I'm, uh, I'm afraid of airplanes."
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"Oh, afraid, and I don't, I can't dive in the sky,"
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"so I use my living room, and the parachute gets on the couch and the b-lamp,"
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"and it's a drag, and you wouldn't want to do that,"
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"and you'd be better off with Peter."
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"Oh! I feel better already. Where is Peter?"
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"Ladies, ladies, I'm sorry, we will not be responsible"
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"for loss or damage. Ladies, please! What'd I ever do?"
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"It shrunk! It shrunk!"
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"Cannot be responsible for loss or damage!"
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"Hold it, hold it, wait, wait!"
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"Wait, wait, wait!"
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"Oh Peter, Peter, Peeeter! How can I ever thank you?"
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"That'll do for a start."
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"To think, we gave her to him!"
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"Let's do a two out of three."
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"You guys can be like brothers to her."
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"Thanks."
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"'Course, I'd hate to think she came to me on the rebound."
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"Well, you can, uh, just sort of think of this time as being the bound."
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"Ha ha ha ha. That must be April."
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"Peter!"
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"Hi April, come on in."
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"Good evening. Oh, no, I'm sorry, I can't stay. I've had the most exciting day!"
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"Oh?"
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"Yes. I want you to meet my fiance."
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"This is Freddy Fox the third."
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"Hi babies, how you doing? Yeah!"
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"Isn't she just too much, man? Look at that! Ooh!"
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"I never met a singer before!"
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"Oh, come on, April, let's split outta here, man, ooh!"
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"April is the cruelest month."
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"Well, I guess it just goes to prove to what Shakespeare said,"
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"to thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night the-"
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"Please! No morals!"
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"[sniffles]"
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"C'mon Peter, you gotta learn to be a good loser."
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"[cries]"
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"That's a good loser."
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"We all loved her! And now will none of us find any happiness?!"
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"Come in!"
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"Hi, we're your new neighbors. Can you tell us where to find a laundromat?"
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"One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four."
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"...never seen anything like that in me life before..."
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"I never saw anything like that..."
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"[chatter]"
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"Uh, hey, hey. What are you doing?"
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