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Clips from Galavant - Pilot (S01E01)

"Kill the king, make her watch."
Galavant
"No!"
Galavant
"Mmm."
Galavant
"Mmm."
Galavant
"Sid, fetch me a drink."
Galavant
"When he tells me to fetch, those are my favorite moments."
Galavant
"Thanks again for the drink."
Galavant
"Drinks."
Galavant
"Right. Thanks again."
Galavant
"My father used to tell stories of you,"
Galavant
"- of your skill in battle... - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm."
Galavant
"Your heroism, of your goodness."
Galavant
"What happened to you?"
Galavant
"I mean... eh."
Galavant
"Oh, come on. I've come a long way."
Galavant
"Surely I deserve some kind of backstory."
Galavant
"All right."
Galavant
"My parents were people of massive, massive appetites."
Galavant
"They loved everything... they loved food. They loved drink."
Galavant
"But most of all, they loved each other."
Galavant
"Ironically, they also hated each other."
Galavant
"And they fought violently every day."
Galavant
"Didn't have time for much else, in fact."
Galavant
"So... at the age of 8, I swore off love."
Galavant
"Devoted myself to doing something better with my life"
Galavant
"than wasting it on love."
Galavant
"So I read, I trained, I learned languages."
Galavant
"All the time other young men chasing spent chasing girls,"
Galavant
"I spent that time bettering myself."
Galavant
"But I come from a long family of lovers."
Galavant
"You can't fight genetics."
Galavant
"So when it inevitably happened..."
Galavant
"- When I fell... - You fell hard."
Galavant
"I fell hard."
Galavant
"And her?"
Galavant
"She fell softer..."
Galavant
"As it turns out."
Galavant
"Look, I'd love to help. Really, I would."
Galavant
"But I'm..."
Galavant
"I'm sort of out of the whole "damsel in distress" business"
Galavant
"at the moment, so..."
Galavant
"I listened from below as he ordered my parents to their death."
Galavant
"And after coming all this way,"
Galavant
"your advice is for me to just turn a blind eye"
Galavant
"and watch king Richard destroy my kingdom"
Galavant
"and everyone I've ever loved?"
Galavant
"What?"
Galavant
"Did you just say..."
Galavant
""King Richard"?"
Galavant
"Oh, come here!"
Galavant
"- Isabella. - Father!"
Galavant
"Ah!"
Galavant
"Maybe this is what we're looking for."
Galavant
"Ooh, sweet!"
Galavant
"Any luck on the Jewel, Richard?"
Galavant
"Well, actually, my dear..."
Galavant
"I know. I know. You're working on it."
Galavant
"Well, why don't you stop working on it,"
Galavant
"start acting like Galavant, and do something already?"
Galavant
"Will do, My Queen."
Galavant
"I swear, if I have to hear the name Galavant one more time."
Galavant
"If only there was some way that I could..."
Galavant
"Ah."
Galavant
"She's a pretty young thing, isn't she, Gareth?"
Galavant
"- A bit plump for my liking. - Plump?"
Galavant
"The girl is 100 pounds soaking wet."
Galavant
"I know, but I like skinny. Like, really unhealthy skinny."
Galavant
"You love your parents, don't you, my dear?"
Galavant
"Leave my parents be."
Galavant
"Leave them be, or so help me, I will kill you myself."
Galavant
"And spunky."
Galavant
"Ha! More like "chunky"!"
Galavant
"Just stop it, Gareth!"
Galavant
"I am trying to do something here!"
Galavant
"Fine. If we can't beat Galavant on his turf,"
Galavant
"we'll bring him to our own."
Galavant
"If you want your parents to live,"
Galavant
"you will travel to find Galavant."
Galavant
"You tell him that I, king Richard, have invaded your kingdom."
Galavant
"Offer to pay him with the jewel."
Galavant
"When that doesn't work, I want you to tell him this..."
Galavant
"I feel like you should be writing this down."
Galavant
"- I will remember it. - It's a bit long."
Galavant
"I'd really just be more comfortable if you wrote it down."
Galavant
"- I will remember it. - Like a steel trap."
Galavant
"- Always had a wonderful memory, this one. - Fine."
Galavant
"You tell him that king Richard is a..."
Galavant
"Is a cruel and vicious man."
Galavant
"Four months I hid in that cellar."
Galavant
"He and his queen slept right above me."
Galavant
"And you tell him that every night,"
Galavant
"you would listen while he screamed at his queen..."
Galavant
"Screamed at his queen, and each night I would be left"
Galavant
"with only the sobs of that poor woman."
Galavant
"Every night, she would cry out, "I made the wrong choice."
Galavant
"I'm so sorry, Gals. I'm so sorry.""
Galavant
"She must have left some maidens back home."
Galavant
"Never knew what she meant."
Galavant
""I'm so sorry, Gals.""
Galavant
"I love you, Gal."
Galavant
""I'm so sorry, Gal.""
Galavant
"She was saying, "I'm so sorry, Gal.""
Galavant
"We leave tomorrow at sunrise."
Galavant
"Pack lightly. There's a long journey ahead."
Galavant
"Oh, for God's sake, Jester!"
Galavant
"Stop with the singing and get back to what you're good at."
Galavant
"- Knock, knock. - Not that."
Galavant
"- Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Oh, Jester!"
Galavant