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Clips from Galavant - Pilot (S01E01)

"Whoa!"
Galavant
"Another wonderful routine, Jester."
Galavant
"I'm not seeing it, baby."
Galavant
"Perhaps his humor flies over your head, then."
Galavant
"Honestly, Gareth, I don't know what she sees in him."
Galavant
"No idea, My King."
Galavant
"Well, I will go and compliment the Jester."
Galavant
"And while I do, husband,"
Galavant
"perhaps you can make some progress convincing the king and queen of Valencia"
Galavant
"- to tell you where their jewel is hidden. - I've tried everything."
Galavant
"Mm-hmm."
Galavant
"Galavant would not stand for this."
Galavant
"- What did you just say? - I said,"
Galavant
""Galavant would not have stood for this"!"
Galavant
"See, that's what I thought you said."
Galavant
"I just wanted clarification. Thank you."
Galavant
"Find me the jewel, would you, dear?"
Galavant
"Of course, darling."
Galavant
"Jester, um..."
Galavant
"Join me in my chamber, would you?"
Galavant
"I'd love to learn a little more about how you, uh... craft a joke."
Galavant
"Ooh!"
Galavant
"She really gets a kick out of that damn Jester."
Galavant
"I don't know. Maybe it is all going over my head."
Galavant
"Oh, it's definitely going over your head, sir."
Galavant
"A midday snack, My King?"
Galavant
"Come up here."
Galavant
"What happened to the other chef?"
Galavant
"Looked just like you, but... older, more wrinkly."
Galavant
"My father?"
Galavant
"Right. What happened to him?"
Galavant
"- You had him killed, sir. - Hmm?"
Galavant
"Your mutton was too rare."
Galavant
"Well, that doesn't sound like me."
Galavant
"You killed his father before him."
Galavant
"Your family has killed the last four generations"
Galavant
"of chefs in my family."
Galavant
"It's not a great job, My King."
Galavant
"I'm such a bully."
Galavant
"I'm under a terrible amount of pressure. You have to understand that."
Galavant
"Oh, it's fine, My King. Don't worry about it."
Galavant
"Oh, Gareth, I try so hard to please her."
Galavant
"I invade a kingdom for a jewel,"
Galavant
"I respect her vow of chastity,"
Galavant
"and yet every day I have to hear it"
Galavant
"over and over again."
Galavant
"Oh!"
Galavant
"Everybody sing!"
Galavant
"Well, that was ripping!"
Galavant
"This is all very exciting, My King,"
Galavant
"but Galavant still lives."
Galavant
"And he is still the greatest warrior in five kingdoms."
Galavant
"Fine. If I can't win her love, I'll buy it."
Galavant
"Bring me the king and queen of Valencia."
Galavant
"I'll find her that stupid jewel."
Galavant
""'Orange' you glad I didn't say 'banana' again?""
Galavant
"Not funny at all, sir."
Galavant
"Tommy."
Galavant
"Tommy. Tommy!"
Galavant
"There appears to be a rather large hole in my bucket,"
Galavant
"and I would very much like you to fix it."
Galavant
"Sorry, Gal. I'm gonna have to cut you off."
Galavant
"Tommy, come on. It's me."
Galavant
"It's Gal."
Galavant
"Hey, Gal. Come on. You're embarrassing yourself."
Galavant
"I'm embarrassing yourself."
Galavant
"Can I buy you a drink?"
Galavant
"No!"
Galavant
"Good. You can buy me one."
Galavant
"Now, where were we?"
Galavant
"Two months ago, you were imprisoned in a cellar."
Galavant
"Then what happened?"
Galavant
"Ah, here we are."
Galavant
"Regular spots, please. Thank you very much."
Galavant
"I believe you know where to stand."
Galavant
"Now, let me ask you one question. I've tried to be kind to you."
Galavant
"Have I not?"
Galavant
"You pillaged our peaceful kingdom, killed half our army."
Galavant
"But I haven't killed you."
Galavant
"I mean, think about it."
Galavant
"I've killed a massive amount of people this week,"
Galavant
"but I haven't killed... kil..."
Galavant
"Gareth, I have a horribly scratchy throat."
Galavant
"A bit of tea, please."
Galavant
"Tea for the king!"
Galavant
"I'm not really a yeller."
Galavant
"I've been fighting a bug since the invasion."
Galavant
"I swear, it's the plague. It's not the plague."
Galavant
"- Feel it, though... does that feel lumpy? - No."
Galavant
"- You didn't even feel it. - We beg you to show mercy to our people,"
Galavant
"- good King Richard. - We've done this."
Galavant
"Look, here's the thing."
Galavant
"My wife really wants that jewel of yours."
Galavant
"Now, I know, at times, she can come off as a bit, um..."
Galavant
"What's the word?"
Galavant
"- Evil. - Cruel."
Galavant
"No, that's not it. It's more..."
Galavant
"- Sadistic. - Vicious."
Galavant
"You know, I think you really just have to get to know her."
Galavant
"She can be a"
Galavant
"- Would you stop it, Gareth?! - All right."
Galavant
"How's about this?"
Galavant
"You tell me where the jewelry is,"
Galavant
"we'll pack up shop."
Galavant
"We'll stop the pillaging and the killing,"
Galavant
"yada, yada, and everyone's happy."
Galavant
"The Jewel of Valencia is priceless."
Galavant
"I know. I know."
Galavant
"It is a symbol of Valencia. It has belonged not to us,"
Galavant
"but to our people for thousands of years."
Galavant
"Totally understand. Totally empathize."
Galavant
"- Can I have it? - Never!"
Galavant
"This is so not how I wanted to do this!"
Galavant
"It is about to get very messy in here."
Galavant
"Ooh, my tea! Thank you very much."
Galavant
"Mm."
Galavant
"Is there lemon in there?"
Galavant
"Yes... My King?"
Galavant
"Some unsqueezed lemons."
Galavant
"Well, it's delightful. Just delightful."
Galavant
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