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Clips from Veep - B/ill (S04E04)

"and you had a list who Dan and Amy were seeing?"
Veep
"Did you not think to compare the lists?"
Veep
"I have another list and you're right at the top of it, Gary,"
Veep
"so don't you dare try to question my fucking methods."
Veep
"Well, I on the other hand, do dare to question your fucking methods."
Veep
"Well, Kent and I were running different parts of the operation."
Veep
"So your people are going to see the same people as Jonah and Richard?"
Veep
"One. One of the same people."
Veep
"Oh, one. So one's okay."
Veep
"We just let off one nuke at the Super Bowl."
Veep
"Oh, so now you want to micromanage"
Veep
"something that you didn't even want to be involved in."
Veep
"I don't want to manage it, but don't you think"
Veep
"we could maybe find someone competent who could?"
Veep
"Okay, whatever it is, I don't need to know."
Veep
"I'll tell you what's going on. Jonah saw Moyes earlier today and Dan and Amy have, too."
Veep
"And now Moyes is onto us."
Veep
"Why did you just tell me that?"
Veep
"This is so much worse for me."
Veep
"I was the field agent who gave Dan and Amy the mission."
Veep
"I was the messenger. I could be shot."
Veep
"This isn't about you, Gary. Jesus, nothing here is ever about you."
Veep
"I didn't hear any of this 'cause I have a really bad case of tinnitus,"
Veep
"especially when discussing morally dubious things."
Veep
"So it's kind of like sinnitus."
Veep
"But I'm implicated. I'm the linchpin."
Veep
"- I could go to jail! - Shut up!"
Veep
"No, you shut up. You shut up."
Veep
"And I will also shut up first."
Veep
"Sue! Sue, I need to see the president."
Veep
"She's in with the joint chiefs, Gary. Is it that important?"
Veep
"Listen, Sue, I'm involved with some stuff here."
Veep
"Scary stuff like take it to your grave kind of stuff."
Veep
"And that's the... that's the way I like it."
Veep
"Okay, well, she'll be out in five. Can it wait?"
Veep
"Yeah, no problem. No problem."
Veep
"What if he checks our cover story?"
Veep
"Like, what if he informs Congress?"
Veep
"Dan, he's a congressman."
Veep
"Congressmen never do anything they say they're gonna do."
Veep
"How are you not freaking out about this?"
Veep
"I'm kind of having fun. I like having a cover story."
Veep
"Makes me feel like a Charlie's Angel."
Veep
"God, it was a rush!"
Veep
"Yeah, but you're a control freak and this whole thing is out of control,"
Veep
"so why aren't you freaking?"
Veep
"Relax. I'm finally having fun. Let me."
Veep
"Jesus, you know, I always thought the old Amy"
Veep
"was kind of an uptight bitch, but now I sort of miss her."
Veep
"You know, if I was uptight, I'd be offended by that."
Veep
"In fact, I am offended. You shouldn't call people bitches."
Veep
"You shouldn't do that anymore."
Veep
"Unless it's like bitch or something like that."
Veep
"- I'm sorry. - Excuse me."
Veep
"Thank you for your service."
Veep
"How was the meeting, sir?"
Veep
"Very productive."
Veep
"It's like something out of a political cartoon."
Veep
"What, you mean not funny?"
Veep
"Oh, my God."
Veep
"How the hell did Moyes end up on two lists?"
Veep
"I made it clear Ben should run all his list alterations past me."
Veep
"No, mine was the master list. Your list was a sub-list."
Veep
"It was a sur-list, which means over-list."
Veep
"- Oh, fuck you. - Your earwax could bring down a president."
Veep
"And I didn't even want to see Dan and Amy."
Veep
"And now they're expecting money."
Veep
"- I didn't know that. - Money? Money?"
Veep
"Gary, I said access only."
Veep
"Yeah, now we're gonna have to divert funds"
Veep
"from the campaign and that's fraud."
Veep
"And then we're gonna have to destroy the evidence"
Veep
"and that's conspiracy to commit fraud."
Veep
"No, a cash trail is very fucking bad for us."
Veep
"- Oh. - Hey, hold on there, Hunk of the Month."
Veep
"If I'm going down, you're going down, too."
Veep
"I don't know what this is about."
Veep
"Good point. Dan and Amy."
Veep
"They're getting paid cash from the campaign fund to bring down the bill."
Veep
"There, you've been blooded."
Veep
"So join the circle jerk. Grab a dick."
Veep
"Wish I could hear what you were saying over that incessant drilling sound."
Veep
"- What are you doing? Shh!"
Veep
"What cash?"
Veep
"What Dan and Amy?"
Veep
"Ben's paying Dan and Amy to lobby against the bill"
Veep
"and now there's a cash trail and we're all incriminated."
Veep
"But you're not."
Veep
"Oh, my God, now you are!"
Veep
"Well done."
Veep
"Now I feel a lot better."
Veep
"Did you know, Tom?"
Veep
"Ma'am, I am as shocked as you are."
Veep
"Shocked and disappointed, Ben."
Veep
"Ma'am, Moyes is voting yes."
Veep
"Ruiz is voting yes."
Veep
"This comes down to one vote. We need Congressman Pierce."
Veep
"My future depends on that dumb fucking elf?"
Veep
"Jeez... where is he?"
Veep
"I'm so proud of how brave you've been."
Veep
"I was looking for some lotion, but they didn't..."
Veep
"Hello, Congressman Pierce, Mrs. Pierce."
Veep
"We are here from the White House on behalf of the Families First Bill."
Veep
"Oh, yes. Mom, the White House here to see me."
Veep
"We need you to vote for the bill."
Veep
"More importantly, the president needs you to vote for the bill."
Veep
"The president? The president sent you here to talk to me?"
Veep
"She used sentences containing your name."
Veep
"Okay, I'm in. I mean, yeah, absolutely."
Veep
"- Fantastic! - Mom, the president needs me to..."
Veep
"Oh, no, Joker and Penguin beat us to it."
Veep
"Hey, guys. You're here just in time to celebrate."
Veep
"The congressman is going to vote yes on the Families First Bill."
Veep
"It was a personal request from the president, so..."
Veep
"Congressman, now, while I respect your decision,"
Veep
"you do understand that the amendments to this bill"
Veep
"will negatively affect your district."
Veep
"Hardworking families don't want to support lazy ones."
Veep
"And your support will shrink faster than a penis in the December Hudson."
Veep
"- Really? - You shit-eating cocksuckers."
Veep
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