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Clips from The Great North - Sexi Moose Adventure (S01E01)

"All right, I've chopped this month's wood,"
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"mended the fishing nets, canned a batch of pepper jelly,"
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"brainstormed my Halloween costume."
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"I think people are gonna love me"
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"as Sully from Monsters University."
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"And it's... 5:00 a. m.?"
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"Kids'll be up soon."
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"Ooh, I almost forgot to stare with wild wonder"
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"at Alaska's majesty while whispering "Hot dog.""
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"Hot dog."
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"- Dad. - Moon."
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"Drinking coffee again?"
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"Yes. I am ten."
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"Besides, I was up all night tracking a red squirrel"
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"I believe ate some bologna I was drying on the roof."
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"You mean this guy?"
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"- You got him. - I'll set him free"
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"once I've had a few words with him"
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"about whose bologna is whose around here."
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"Thank you, Father."
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"Good morning, Ham. How'd you sleep?"
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"Spectacularly."
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"I dreamt I tasted an ice cream flavor called "buffet,""
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"and I awoke feeling complete."
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"And then I took a glorious dump."
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"Sup, chumps?"
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"I'm just kidding. Just fooling around."
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"Good morning, brother, brother, Father."
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"Ah, the fiancés are up."
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"I've been thinking about your wedding,"
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"and I have some... one idea."
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"We do it on the family boat!"
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"No. Mm‐mm. I picked out our wedding theme a few months ago"
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"on my drive, when I moved here from Fresno."
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"I want to base the wedding on my favorite romantic movie,"
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"Brokeback Mountain."
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"It'll be in a giant tent."
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"Everyone's wearing jean jacket."
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"There'll be a lot of loose sheep everywhere."
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"But no one will be quitting anyone."
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"And I'm inviting Jake Gyllenhaal."
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"But if he can't make it,"
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"hopefully Maggie Gyllenhaal."
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"And if she can't make it,"
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"then hopefully her husband, Peter Sarsgaard."
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"And if he can't make it,"
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"then Alexander Skarsgard."
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"It was a very long drive."
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"Well, speaking of celebrations,"
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"as you all know, it's your sister Judy's sweet 16 today,"
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"and I planned a celebration"
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"that's every teenage girl's dream,"
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"a full day out on the fishing boat with her brothers and dad."
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"No frills, no thrills‐‐"
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"just hard work and the feeling of a birthday job well done."
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"Uh, should we at least look into a clown who's afraid of water?"
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"That could be fun. He'd be all nervous."
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"Where is Judy anyways?"
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"She said she wanted to have a luxurious birthday morning"
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"and sleep in till 5:45."
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"How decadent."
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"‐ ‐"
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"Good morning, Judy!"
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"You are finally 16 today, you beautiful beast."
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"I went to sleep a child, and I woke up a sophisticated"
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"and artistic woman."
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"This is the year I trade in my barrettes for berets."
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"But not literally, because I need"
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"to keep my hair off my face."
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"Ah, good morning, imaginary best friend/inspiration"
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"Alanis Morissette."
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"And good morning to my best friend/inspiration"
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"- Judy Tobin. - Aw. Really?"
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"Or are you just saying that because it's my birthday?"
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"- Yes. Happy birthday! - Oh."
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"Well, I have a big birthday announcement."
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"I got the job!"
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"Well, Judy, I have one hand in my pocket,"
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"and the other one is very proud of you."
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"You are looking at the newest associ‐ette photograph‐ette"
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"at the Point & Shoot Photo Studio,"
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"conveniently located at the most inspiring place"
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"in all of Alaska!"
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"- The mall. - The mall."
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"Oh, the bouquet of perfume samples at La Smell Hut."
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"The weird empty area between the fountain and the directory."
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"The cute, slightly older boy who works at Smoothie Boss."
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"The way his semi‐tight pants highlight his,"
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"um, downstairs situation."
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"Yeah, you get it. You specifically get it."
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"But, Judy, did you tell your dad yet?"
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"No. You know how he is with change."
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"I mean, when Mom ran off to Pennsylvania"
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"to be with her lover Marcus,"
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"my dad told us all that she got eaten by a bear"
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"in the Val‐U‐Buy parking lot."
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"But she's alive, and we all know that."
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"And ever since then, he just wants the whole family"
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"to be together all the time."
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"It'll break his heart if I can't be on the boat"
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"from 3:00 p. M. To 7:00 p. M. On Tuesdays and Thursdays."
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"But... Judy, get real."
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"You‐you don't want to spend your life catching fish"
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"after fish after fish"
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"after fish after fish"
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"after fish."
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"- I know, but... - After fish."
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"Oh, sorry. I thought you were done. Are you done?"
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"Look, there comes a time"
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"in every young artistic woman's life"
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"when she must put aside her barrettes,"
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"put on her berets..."
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"I was just saying that earlier."
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"...and grab life by the ass."
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"Yes. I just need to take one butt cheek of life in each hand,"
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"spread 'em apart, and dive..."
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"Oh!"
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"Calm down, Judy! Oh, God!"
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"I got to calm down! I have to calm down."
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"For safety."
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