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Clips from Seinfeld - The Little Jerry (S08E08)

"So, what happened with with the auto show?"
Seinfeld
"-I waited for you. You never came. -Oh, I'm sorry. I got really busy."
Seinfeld
"-How long did you wait? -Five minutes."
Seinfeld
"-Five minutes? That's it? -No difference. You never showed up."
Seinfeld
"Well, I could have."
Seinfeld
"I mean, last week we waited for that friend of Kramer's for like 40 minutes."
Seinfeld
"We barely knew the guy."
Seinfeld
"The longer you know someone, the shorter you wait for them?"
Seinfeld
"-That's the way it works. -When did you tell George to be here?"
Seinfeld
"Told him to meet in 1 0 minutes. How long has it been?"
Seinfeld
"-About five. -That's enough."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Early. All right."
Seinfeld
"Cold."
Seinfeld
"So I noticed you bounced a check at the bodega."
Seinfeld
"-How did you know about that? -Marcelino."
Seinfeld
"He taped it up on his cash register with all of the other bad checks."
Seinfeld
"He can't do that."
Seinfeld
"It's the only way you'll learn."
Seinfeld
"Oh, these eggs are disgusting."
Seinfeld
"Boy, this chicken should be ashamed of himself."
Seinfeld
"-Fantastic thing, fantastic. -What happened?"
Seinfeld
"Well, first, I'm brushing my teeth and this piece of apple skin..."
Seinfeld
"...that must have been lodged in there for days...comes loose."
Seinfeld
"-Fantastic. -Then I'm at the foundation--"
Seinfeld
"-You're still doing that? -Once in a while."
Seinfeld
"When you feel guilty."
Seinfeld
"No, occasionally I forget to let the machine pick up."
Seinfeld
"Anyway, they made this large donation to a woman's prison..."
Seinfeld
"...and I get to go down there and check it out."
Seinfeld
"-That's caged heat. -Yeah."
Seinfeld
"-What are you doing there? -Nothing."
Seinfeld
"Just, you know, stroll around the cellblocks..."
Seinfeld
"...maybe take in a shower fight."
Seinfeld
"You got a bounced check hanging up in the market..."
Seinfeld
"-...over on Columbus. -Yes, I know. I know."
Seinfeld
"I noticed you chose the clowns-with-balloon check design."
Seinfeld
"It was a mistake. The bank sent me the wrong ones."
Seinfeld
"Hey, look who's here."
Seinfeld
"Hey, Kurt, this is Jerry and George and Kramer."
Seinfeld
"-Hey. -Hey, Kurt, taste these eggs."
Seinfeld
"No, I only eat cage-free, farm-fresh."
Seinfeld
"Yes. These are sweatshop eggs."
Seinfeld
"I gotta call the office, honey. Will you order for me?"
Seinfeld
"I'm a honey."
Seinfeld
"He's pretty great, huh?"
Seinfeld
"Is he from the future?"
Seinfeld
"No, he just shaves his head. I think it's pretty gutsy."
Seinfeld
"Listen, sweetheart, let me tell you a little something about guts."
Seinfeld
"This is guts."
Seinfeld
"What? Clinging to some scraps?"
Seinfeld
"These are not scraps."
Seinfeld
"These are historic remains of a once-great society of hair."
Seinfeld
"Did you guys stop at the bodega today?"
Seinfeld
"Some moron bounced a clown check."
Seinfeld
"I'm really sorry about the check, Marcelino."
Seinfeld
"People seem to like the clowns."
Seinfeld
"Look, let me just give you the 40, plus another 20 for your trouble."
Seinfeld
"Okay."
Seinfeld
"-Are you gonna take the check down? -Sorry, no. Store policy."
Seinfeld
"-But it's your bodega. -Even I am not above the policy."
Seinfeld
"-And those are our tennis courts. -Tennis courts?"
Seinfeld
"What about the yard? Where do they have the gang fights?"
Seinfeld
"There's no fights here, Mr. Costanza. This is a minimum-security facility."
Seinfeld
"What about a hole?"
Seinfeld
"-Do you ever put anybody in the box? -No."
Seinfeld
"This prison stinks."
Seinfeld
"And finally the library, which has just been refurbished..."
Seinfeld
"...thanks to your generous donation."
Seinfeld
"-This is Celia Morgan, our librarian. -Nice to meet you."
Seinfeld
"-I'll be in my office if you need me. -Thanks, warden."
Seinfeld
"Betsy."
Seinfeld
"Betsy."
Seinfeld
"So are you the head of the foundation?"
Seinfeld
"Well, let's just say it wouldn't exist without me."
Seinfeld
"So you two shop at the same store?"
Seinfeld
"No, it's standard issue."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God. You're in jail?"
Seinfeld
"That is so cool."
Seinfeld
"You asked her out?"
Seinfeld
"Well, not out. She's a prisoner."
Seinfeld
"-How could you ask her out? -Why not?"
Seinfeld
"You wouldn't date that girl from Queens..."
Seinfeld
"...because you didn't want to go over the bridge."
Seinfeld
"-lt was different. -I'll say."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, I like being with her."
Seinfeld
"Plus, I know where she is all the time."
Seinfeld
"I have relatively no competition."
Seinfeld
"And you know how you fear the pop-in?"
Seinfeld
"-The pop-in. -No pop-in..."
Seinfeld
"...no, "ln the neighborhood." No, "l saw your light was on.""
Seinfeld
"And the best part is, if things go really well...."
Seinfeld
"-Conjugal visit? -Don't jinx it. Don't."
Seinfeld
"-Hey. -Hey."
Seinfeld
"-What's up? -George is dating a convict."
Seinfeld
"-What's she in for? -Embezzlement."
Seinfeld
"Sounds like a nice girl."
Seinfeld
"Is it all right if I put some stuff in your fridge? Mine's full."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, sure."
Seinfeld
"-You don't even have a fridge, do you? -Well, not here."
Seinfeld
"-Okay. -Kramer...."
Seinfeld
"Wait a minute. Wait. What the hell is that?"
Seinfeld
"Well, it's chicken feed."
Seinfeld
"I sense something is afoot."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I bought a chicken."
Seinfeld
"Allow me."
Seinfeld
"Why?"
Seinfeld
"Cage-free, farm-fresh eggs."
Seinfeld
"Allow me."
Seinfeld
"-What are you? An idiot? -No."
Seinfeld
"Hold it. Hold it. Here. I got it. Catch."
Seinfeld
"Hey, driver's license."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God."
Seinfeld
"-What? -Your hair."
Seinfeld
"It's so thick and lustrous."
Seinfeld
"I mean, it was."
Seinfeld
"Well, it still is."
Seinfeld
"I shaved my head for my swim team."
Seinfeld
"I just liked the way it looked, so I kept it."
Seinfeld
"Are you saying that I could be dating this hair?"
Seinfeld
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