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Clips from The Goldbergs - Deadheads (S04E04)

"Bro, he's got a snake."
The Goldbergs
"A streamlined iguana? For real?"
The Goldbergs
"A deal's a deal. He's JTP-worthy."
The Goldbergs
"Fine! We take a vote and never discuss it again."
The Goldbergs
"All those in favor in accepting Matt Bradley"
The Goldbergs
"as a member of the JTP, say "Aye.""
The Goldbergs
"- ALL: Aye. - Those opposed? Me."
The Goldbergs
"And as we all know, I'm the leader, so my vote counts as three."
The Goldbergs
"- And what does that mean? - ALL: Tie vote."
The Goldbergs
"And what happens in the event of a tie vote?"
The Goldbergs
"- ALL: You win. - Democracy in action! Let's go."
The Goldbergs
"Yo, JTP, you meet Snake Plissken?"
The Goldbergs
"- He poisonous? - Nah."
The Goldbergs
"- He's a boa, super-docile. - Lame."
The Goldbergs
"Oh, I was gonna see if you wanted to hold it."
The Goldbergs
"Oh, yeah! I mean... No."
The Goldbergs
"We took a vote. We reject you and your awesome viper."
The Goldbergs
"That's not what the vote was for. It was to be a member of the JTP."
The Goldbergs
"Wow. I would be honored."
The Goldbergs
"Don't be. You've already been rejected."
The Goldbergs
"It was a landslide."
The Goldbergs
"Come on, Bar. At least give him a chance to take the membership test."
The Goldbergs
"Membership test?"
The Goldbergs
"It's a series of riddles, trivia, and feats of strength."
The Goldbergs
"- Sounds rad. - Fine!"
The Goldbergs
"I'll give you a shot."
The Goldbergs
"But as our charter states, once you fail,"
The Goldbergs
"you can't ever be one of us."
The Goldbergs
"You don't mess around in the JTP."
The Goldbergs
"- ALL: JTP! - No!"
The Goldbergs
"He's not a member!"
The Goldbergs
"No call-and-response, JTP."
The Goldbergs
"ALL: JTP."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: As Matt Bradley was learning the rules of the JTP,"
The Goldbergs
"my mom was setting up her own rules."
The Goldbergs
"The rules are simple. You curse, you reimburse."
The Goldbergs
"One dollar for every swear sworn in this household."
The Goldbergs
"Well, I, for one, think this is a fantastic way"
The Goldbergs
"to make us the very best people that we can be."
The Goldbergs
"And go to the Bahamas and pierce my belly button. Forget I said that."
The Goldbergs
"No one's going to the damn Bahamas."
The Goldbergs
"Bup-bup! That's a dollar in the swear jar, Dad."
The Goldbergs
"She's right, Murray. We have to live by example."
The Goldbergs
"I'm not paying for these morons to go to the Bahamas."
The Goldbergs
"You know, "Moron" may not be considered a curse word,"
The Goldbergs
"but it really does feel like one emotionally."
The Goldbergs
"I'll put 20 bucks in that thing"
The Goldbergs
"if I can call any moron who's acting like a moron"
The Goldbergs
"a moron, anytime I want."
The Goldbergs
"- Fifty. - Worth it."
The Goldbergs
"Morons!"
The Goldbergs
"You know what would teach us a super-valuable lesson?"
The Goldbergs
"Upping the fee for the big-time swears to five bucks a pop."
The Goldbergs
"Yes! Ooh! What a great idea."
The Goldbergs
"Oh, balls! It's really not!"
The Goldbergs
"(LAUGHS) That's $5!"
The Goldbergs
"For "balls"? But it has so many meanings,"
The Goldbergs
"only one of which refers to one's nards."
The Goldbergs
"That's $10! Yay! My babies are gonna be angels!"
The Goldbergs
"What have you done, dragon lady?"
The Goldbergs
"I've got $7 to my name. I'm already in debt."
The Goldbergs
"Relax. I have a plan."
The Goldbergs
"When it comes to swearing, we have self-control."
The Goldbergs
"Lucky for us, our mom does not."
The Goldbergs
"Oh, my God. You're gonna use the swear jar to scam Mom."
The Goldbergs
"I ran the numbers. We need 723 big swear words."
The Goldbergs
"If we can up Mom's swear rate to twice an hour"
The Goldbergs
"and nail her on some "hells" and "damn its" in between,"
The Goldbergs
"we're gonna be slurping on strawberry daiquiris"
The Goldbergs
"in the Bahamas in 13 days."
The Goldbergs
"How do we get her to swear more?"
The Goldbergs
"Follow my lead."
The Goldbergs
"Hey, Mom? I've been thinking about it, and..."
The Goldbergs
"You're more than a mom."
The Goldbergs
"You're also, like... A friend."
The Goldbergs
"That's exactly how I feel!"
The Goldbergs
"We're like best (BLEEP) friends!"
The Goldbergs
"Oh. Wow."
The Goldbergs
"While I appreciate the enthusiasm,"
The Goldbergs
"you kind ofjust dropped a big-money word."
The Goldbergs
"That'll be a fiver."
The Goldbergs
"Did I say (BLEEP)?"
The Goldbergs
"I said it again! Oh, how many (BLEEP) was that?"
The Goldbergs
"(SIGHS)"
The Goldbergs
"Oh (BLEEP) it. I'll just put in a $20."
The Goldbergs
"It's money well-spent for my delicious, talented superstar!"
The Goldbergs
"Mama! I'm cold, and nothing can keep me warm like your hug!"
The Goldbergs
"Will you hug me till I'm all roasty and toasty inside?"
The Goldbergs
"(BLEEP)"
The Goldbergs
"(LAUGHING) You are so adorable!"
The Goldbergs
"(GASPS)"
The Goldbergs
"I'll get my purse."
The Goldbergs
"(CHUCKLES)"
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: As we bankrolled our trip to the Bahamas,"
The Goldbergs
"my brother was banking on Matt Bradley failing"
The Goldbergs
"the impossible JTP Entrance Exam."
The Goldbergs
"- Let the trials of the JTP begin. - ALL: JTP!"
The Goldbergs
"First up, smashball."
The Goldbergs
"Let's see you hit my unhittable knuckle melon."
The Goldbergs
"Yes!"
The Goldbergs
"But he destroyed that melon, and every other challenge."
The Goldbergs
"Slushie chug."
The Goldbergs
"No mere mortal can ingest an extra-large..."
The Goldbergs
"Done! Ahhh! My head!"
The Goldbergs
"- But worth it! - Dang!"
The Goldbergs
"- He's unstoppable! - He's immortal."
The Goldbergs
"Riddles and trivia."
The Goldbergs
"A body is found in a locked room..."
The Goldbergs
"Is the weapon an ice knife?"
The Goldbergs
"Damn it!"
The Goldbergs
"Next category, busting balls."
The Goldbergs
"Come up with three insults for how short Andy is."
The Goldbergs
"Oh. No, we don't have to do..."
The Goldbergs
"- Go! - Andy's so tiny,"
The Goldbergs
"he uses a sock as a sleeping bag."
The Goldbergs
"When Andy plays mini-golf, it's just called golf."
The Goldbergs
"Did you hear Andy died?"
The Goldbergs
"He was bungee-jumping off a curb and the dental floss broke."
The Goldbergs
"- Oh! - Oh!"
The Goldbergs
"I feel completely humiliated."
The Goldbergs
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