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Clips from Weeds - Head Cheese (S04E04)

"What was that?"
Weeds
"Did you have sex?"
Weeds
"I'm 13 years old."
Weeds
"Exactly. You're 13 years old."
Weeds
"- They're 13 years old. - They're in my grade."
Weeds
"That's too early, Shane. You're too --"
Weeds
"Fuck you, Judah."
Weeds
"- I can handle it. - Well, I can't."
Weeds
"I don't want you seeing either of those scary little sluts again."
Weeds
"Quit pretending to be a mom."
Weeds
"Morning. You okay?"
Weeds
"No. I'm not okay. Do I look okay?"
Weeds
"How did this happen? What did I do?"
Weeds
"You had boys."
Weeds
"Is this your house?"
Weeds
"This is my place, babe."
Weeds
"You passed out in the van and I carried you up like a bride."
Weeds
"Tried waking you for nookie, but you sleep like a corpse."
Weeds
"- What's wrong? - Nothing. I just --"
Weeds
"Can't believe you're really here. You're so beautiful."
Weeds
"You are very kind."
Weeds
"I'm kind and you're pretty."
Weeds
"Together we're kind and pretty and nice and beautiful."
Weeds
"- But we do not know each other. - So let's get down to it."
Weeds
"I am not some piruja. We must take time."
Weeds
"You must win my affection."
Weeds
"Okay, okay. I hear you."
Weeds
"Get to know each other."
Weeds
"Win your heart."
Weeds
"Thank you."
Weeds
"Can I just see one boob?"
Weeds
"The next two weeks of your life are going to be..."
Weeds
"...some of the most difficult you have ever faced."
Weeds
"All the pain you've been numbing for years..."
Weeds
"...with your substance addiction will hit you at once..."
Weeds
"...and it will be excruciating, but know this: You're not alone."
Weeds
"The people next to you will become your best friends."
Weeds
"So get ready, everyone..."
Weeds
"...because you are all about to go through hell together."
Weeds
"Give it up."
Weeds
"Let's go to hell."
Weeds
"Why is this locked?"
Weeds
"We're closed."
Weeds
"Who told you we were closed?"
Weeds
"The sexy, scary, beardy one."
Weeds
"Don't you think it's conspicuous..."
Weeds
"...that the whole mall is having a sale, but we're closed?"
Weeds
"I do what I'm told by men with semiautomatic weapons."
Weeds
"I'm a total bottom that way."
Weeds
"You look tired."
Weeds
"Love tired?"
Weeds
"- Sex tired? - "Tired" tired. I'm just tired."
Weeds
"So, what's the haps in here?"
Weeds
"Look. The crates again."
Weeds
"Yes."
Weeds
"Crates from America going into Mexico."
Weeds
"You look tired."
Weeds
"- What's in the crates, Ignacio? - Maybe you should go and lay down."
Weeds
"I'm just gonna take a little peek."
Weeds
"- No. - Because if I peek -- ?"
Weeds
"I'll shoot you."
Weeds
"- You're not gonna shoot me. - It's my job."
Weeds
"It's your job to threaten to shoot me, not to actually shoot me."
Weeds
"Oh, that's not pot."
Weeds
"- Guillermo. - Nancy?"
Weeds
"Everything's fine, Sanjay. Go back to your book."
Weeds
"- Okay. - What the fuck?"
Weeds
"Exactly. This is supposed to be a pot tunnel."
Weeds
"I know you ain't as slow as you acting."
Weeds
"It's a tunnel. There's no magical "Weed Only" sign at the entrance."
Weeds
"Cut the shit."
Weeds
"When did the floodgates open?"
Weeds
"When the water got here."
Weeds
"- Headcheese sandwich. - Six-inch or footlong?"
Weeds
"Footlong all the way, bro."
Weeds
"- Enjoy. - You know it."
Weeds
"Headcheese sandwich, please."
Weeds
"Six-inch or footlong?"
Weeds
"Six-inch."
Weeds
"Hey, there's no meat anywhere in there, right?"
Weeds
"Because if meat even touches the weed, I can't smoke it."
Weeds
"- I'm vegan. - No worries."
Weeds
"That's 240."
Weeds
"Bargain."
Weeds
"- Two-forty. - I gave you a 5."
Weeds
"Yeah, you ordered the headcheese sandwich?"
Weeds
"I did. Everybody seems to like them."
Weeds
"You may have actually gotten the wrong sandwich."
Weeds
"Well, let me check."
Weeds
"Yeah, I gave you the wrong sandwich. My bad."
Weeds
"And we just ran out of bread."
Weeds
"You got a stack of sandwiches right there."
Weeds
"Those were pre-ordered."
Weeds
"What's going on here?"
Weeds
"Sir, you're too fat."
Weeds
"You fattist."
Weeds
"I'm gonna write you up on Chowhound."
Weeds
"Your mom's a rude bitch."
Weeds
"Nice save, Mom."
Weeds
"Celia, we're waiting for your promise partner, Barry."
Weeds
"Any idea where he is?"
Weeds
"I saw him at breakfast."
Weeds
"What?"
Weeds
"Oh, right."
Weeds
"I'm responsible for him, and he's responsible for me..."
Weeds
"...because I can't do this alone. I do this as a "we.""
Weeds
"So that means...?"
Weeds
"I'll be right back."
Weeds
"Barry, Barry."
Weeds
"Promise partner."
Weeds
"What are you doing?"
Weeds
"Where did you get that?"
Weeds
"Seventeen years as a commercial pilot..."
Weeds
"...I think I know how to sneak shit past security."
Weeds
"And I can't take these places sober, you know?"
Weeds
"Therapy, bonding, all the fucking yapping."
Weeds
"Hey, this ain't my first time at the fair, okay?"
Weeds
"I've been to Betty Ford, Cottonwood, New Days."
Weeds
"Fresh Start in Albuquerque. That place is like a whorehouse."
Weeds
"Eighteen-hour layovers in Bangkok are nothing..."
Weeds
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