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Clips from Weeds - A Distinctive Horn (S05E05)

A professional woman, a doctor, no less...

"A professional woman, a doctor, no less..."

Weeds

...playing a juvenile video game. It's just so immature for a doctor.

"...playing a juvenile video game. It's just so immature for a doctor."

Weeds

I had no idea this game was so awesome.

"I had no idea this game was so awesome."

Weeds

So, clearly, you're open to looking beyond first impressions.

"So, clearly, you're open to looking beyond first impressions."

Weeds

I didn't say that.

"I didn't say that."

Weeds

Damn. I just died.

"Damn. I just died."

Weeds

You are here because you like me, aren't you?

"You are here because you like me, aren't you?"

Weeds

I'm here because Nancy invited me. And I am fascinated...

"I'm here because Nancy invited me. And I am fascinated..."

Weeds

...by how this is all gonna play out with the gangster baby daddy.

"...by how this is all gonna play out with the gangster baby daddy."

Weeds

I'm obsessed with the drama.

"I'm obsessed with the drama."

Weeds

-You were mean. -I was honest.

"-You were mean. -I was honest."

Weeds

-That's not mean. -It was harsh. It was a snap judgment.

"-That's not mean. -It was harsh. It was a snap judgment."

Weeds

I'm almost inclined to not ask you out again...

"I'm almost inclined to not ask you out again..."

Weeds

...just to show you how wrong you are about me.

"...just to show you how wrong you are about me."

Weeds

-Almost? -Almost.

"-Almost? -Almost."

Weeds

Almost.

"Almost."

Weeds

All right.

"All right."

Weeds

Whitefish?

"Whitefish?"

Weeds

Dimes go in the lipsticks. Eights go in the compacts.

"Dimes go in the lipsticks. Eights go in the compacts."

Weeds

Half-ounces in the eye-shadow kit.

"Half-ounces in the eye-shadow kit."

Weeds

This is exciting.

"This is exciting."

Weeds

When are you gonna break the news to Doug and Silas?

"When are you gonna break the news to Doug and Silas?"

Weeds

I'm working up to that.

"I'm working up to that."

Weeds

Well, you better do it soon, before that swelling goes down.

"Well, you better do it soon, before that swelling goes down."

Weeds

$You fractured my cheekbone.$

"You fractured my cheekbone."

Weeds

There's some old gym equipment in the garage.

"There's some old gym equipment in the garage."

Weeds

-I've been lifting. -You look good.

"-I've been lifting. -You look good."

Weeds

Thank you.

"Thank you."

Weeds

-From a drawer? -That's right.

"-From a drawer? -That's right."

Weeds

-Can you fix it or not? -Go see a doctor.

"-Can you fix it or not? -Go see a doctor."

Weeds

I don't have any insurance.

"I don't have any insurance."

Weeds

I've been taping it to a Popsicle stick, and it's turning blue.

"I've been taping it to a Popsicle stick, and it's turning blue."

Weeds

Try cherry.

"Try cherry."

Weeds

What are you looking at?

"What are you looking at?"

Weeds

-I did not approve this. -Now he looks like his daddy.

"-I did not approve this. -Now he looks like his daddy."

Weeds

Yeah, and you too, from what I hear, but slightly smaller.

"Yeah, and you too, from what I hear, but slightly smaller."

Weeds

-My son is not Jewish. -Oh, yeah, he is now.

"-My son is not Jewish. -Oh, yeah, he is now."

Weeds

It's an ancient and scholarly religion.

"It's an ancient and scholarly religion."

Weeds

Disproportionate numbers of Nobel Prize winners.

"Disproportionate numbers of Nobel Prize winners."

Weeds

-Meet my son, Avi Melech. -That's his Hebrew name.

"-Meet my son, Avi Melech. -That's his Hebrew name."

Weeds

"Avi" means "my father," "Melech," "the king."

""Avi" means "my father," "Melech," "the king.""

Weeds

That's my boy.

"That's my boy."

Weeds

-In English, it's Steven Ray Botwin. -Stevie Ray.

"-In English, it's Steven Ray Botwin. -Stevie Ray."

Weeds

Would you like a bagel with whitefish?

"Would you like a bagel with whitefish?"

Weeds

Nancy, I would like to speak with you privately.

"Nancy, I would like to speak with you privately."

Weeds

This is unacceptable.

"This is unacceptable."

Weeds

My son, our son, will be baptized by a priest in a church.

"My son, our son, will be baptized by a priest in a church."

Weeds

Sorry, he's Jewish.

"Sorry, he's Jewish."

Weeds

Snip-snip. Eat fish. Start saving for law school.

"Snip-snip. Eat fish. Start saving for law school."

Weeds

-I am his father. I choose his life. -You had your chance to choose.

"-I am his father. I choose his life. -You had your chance to choose."

Weeds

You walked out. I have to think about the baby now.

"You walked out. I have to think about the baby now."

Weeds

You think about yourself. Don't pretend that's mother's love.

"You think about yourself. Don't pretend that's mother's love."

Weeds

From the man who refused to put his name on his son's birth certificate.

"From the man who refused to put his name on his son's birth certificate."

Weeds

My son's not gonna be raised by that pendejo.

"My son's not gonna be raised by that pendejo."

Weeds

That pendejo sticks around.

"That pendejo sticks around."

Weeds

He fights for what he loves. And he's not a coward.

"He fights for what he loves. And he's not a coward."

Weeds

-Get out. -Okay.

"-Get out. -Okay."

Weeds

-Get out. -Okay.

"-Get out. -Okay."

Weeds

My son won't grow up to be like you.

"My son won't grow up to be like you."

Weeds

He won't see you. He won't know you.

"He won't see you. He won't know you."

Weeds

-He is mine. -No. You lost him.

"-He is mine. -No. You lost him."

Weeds