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Clips from Bob's Burgers (2011) - Diarrhea of a Poopy Kid (S11E11)

"My story is about pears."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"You think pears are just a fruit that Gene might like to eat."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"But he wouldn't, because pears can be very, very dangerous."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"The year was 1997, and President Gene Harrison-Ford Belcher"
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"was giving an important speech in a foreign land."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"Apple-achia."
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"And I thank the people of Apple-achia for welcoming me"
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"to their beautiful country and allowing me to eat"
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"your many varieties."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"The United States hopes to have"
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"a long and fruitful relationship with you."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"- Pause for laughter. - [laughter]"
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"He's gonna eat us and I like it."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"[laughs]"
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"Wait, they want to be eaten?"
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"- Yeah. They want to be eaten. - Okay."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"No further questions, then."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"Gene President Harrison-Ford Belcher out."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"TINA: But there was one table in the room who wasn't very happy."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"The delegation from Pear-is."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"Later, President Gene Harrison-Ford Belcher"
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"was on his way back to Air Force One."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"Sir, just wanted to remind you that the delegation"
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"from Pear-is will be aboard your plane,"
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"and they'd like to try to convince you"
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"that pears are just as delicious as apples."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"Okay, but mostly I just want to catch up"
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"on The Kominsky Method and see my wife."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"Of course, sir. We have all the episodes streaming on VHS"
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"because it's 1997."
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"JOCELYN: Hi. Welcome to Air Force One"
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"or whatever."
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"Can we get a tour of the entire plane?"
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"Yeah, we don't want to do anything weird on it"
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"or anything, we just, uh, want to know"
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"where all the security and stuff is."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"Okay. I'm not suspicious of you at all."
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"- [cheering] - Bye-bye, Apples."
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"Hello, Chief of Staff Gayle and Chief of Cats Mr. Business."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"- [meows] - Let's get my derriere in the airy-air."
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"Right away, sir."
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"Your wife is waiting for you in your office, sir."
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"-Hey, Gene. -GENE: Nah."
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"I don't want to be married to Courtney."
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"- TINA: Oh, okay, um, Tammy. - GENE: I'll take Mom."
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"Oh, um, that's a little..."
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"I am sick and I get what I want!"
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"May you continue?"
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"Hello, President Husband."
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"TINA: So President Gene Harrison-Ford Belcher"
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"and his wife, Mom, buckled their seat belts for takeoff."
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"GENE: Well, I hope nothing goes wrong on this flight."
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"LINDA: I'm sure it won't."
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"Nothing ever goes wrong on Air Force One."
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"- [women screaming] - Attention, everybody!"
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"We have taken over this plane in order to prove"
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"that pears are just as delicious as apples."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"And we're gonna do that by taking your president hostage!"
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"You'll see, it's a pretty good plan."
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"- You want to say anything? - Uh, yeah."
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"We're changing the call sign of this plane"
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"to Pear Force One."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"I said the plane is now Pear Force One."
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"You know, 'cause we're pears."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"What are you holding?"
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"They're fruit peelers."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"You know what happens if we use them on you."
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"Our skin comes off?"
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"Worse-- your clothes come off!"
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"You'll be completely naked!"
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"W-Wait, Tina, Gene asked for "foods," not "nudes.""
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"GENE: Just keep it PG-Flirteen, huh?"
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"Sir, the pears have hijacked the plane."
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"We need to get you down to the escape pod."
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"Uh, hello, what about me, his wife?"
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"Sorry, ma'am, wives have to stay on board and possibly be killed."
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"Aw, poop. [gasps] Pears!"
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"- You're our hostage now. - And our best friend?"
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"Get in the escape pod, sir. The country needs you alive."
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"- Ms. Vice President Courtney Glenn-Close Wheeler? - Yeah?"
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"We need to get you down to the Situation Room."
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"- No. - What? No, please do."
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"- Okay. - All right, thank you for working with me."
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"Is President Gene Harrison-Ford Belcher secure yet?"
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"Not yet, and we've just received a message from the pears."
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"They're gonna peel off the clothes of one hostage"
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"every 15 minutes until everyone in America"
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"starts eating pears as much as they eat apples."
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"- [gasps] - And there are a lot of people on that plane"
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"who might get their clothes peeled off--"
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"the Boyz 4 Now, a young Hugh Grant,"
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"old Hugh Grant, all three Property Brothers,"
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"even the one who doesn't do property stuff."
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"-Tina! -Sorry, sorry, sorry. Uh, meanwhile..."
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"the president's escape pod landed."
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"[meows]"
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"President Gene Harrison-Ford Belcher"
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"didn't do escape pods."
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"He wasn't in the Army, the Navy, the CIA"
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"and the Girl Scouts just to give up that easily."
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"Get me Vice President Courtney Glenn-Close Wheeler."
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"Mr. President, I understand. Be careful."
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"No, I'll be pear-ful."
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"COURTNEY: What?"
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"[grunting]"
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"Uh, hey, pear guys,"
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"um, you know what, I don't even like apples."
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"Stop trying to cozy up to us, Mrs. President's Wife Mom."
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"It's time to give this fruit the boot."
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"[pears whimper]"
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"Hey, you made my friend nude!"
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"- So nude. - Oh, no."
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"LOUISE: Wait, so..."
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"fruits are naked under their peels?"
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"- Yeah, their peels are like their clothes. - Got it."
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"Ah, now I'm nude, too!"
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"Don't look at my little Bartlett butt-let!"
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"- Tina! - Yep, yep, moving on."
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"Everybody find something to hold on to!"
Bob's Burgers (2011)
"'Cause I'm about to make fruit salad."
Bob's Burgers (2011)
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