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Clips from The Goldbergs (2013) - You Opened the Door (S01E01)

"All right. So, we're not just gonna have the talk."
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"We're gonna experience the talk."
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"We're gonna do some role-playing."
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"I'm gonna be the girl. You'll be the boy."
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"And we're gonna learn where babies come from with our hands."
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"Take a fraggle. I don't want the fraggle."
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"(high-pitched voice) I'm a pretty fraggle girl."
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"Would you like to come up to my condo for a nightcap?"
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"I've been so lonely since I put myself through nursing school."
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"Fraggles don't own condos!"
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"Take it. Put your hand in the fraggle."
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"Keep the fraggle away from me!"
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"Take it now! Stop it! I was messing with you!"
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"I know everything, okay?"
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"I know you know everything."
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"Then why are you torturing me?"
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"Because you tortured me!"
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"What kind of moron makes their dad"
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"Give them the talk when they don't need the talk?"
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"Who does that? Me."
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"And you know why?"
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"'cause you couldn't be bothered"
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"To have the talk when I actually needed it."
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"Dads are supposed to teach their kids stuff..."
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"How to throw a fastball and change a tire and shave."
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"You never taught me anything."
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"In my defense, I know very little."
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"And fraggles, they can't be nurses."
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"They dance their cares away."
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"Adult adam: As my dad was striking out at home,"
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"I was ready to hit the dance floor at school."
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"The only problem was that at a junior-high dance,"
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"Kids don't dance, but that didn't matter."
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"With my mom distracted by erica at home,"
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"It was time for me to show dana my awesome moves."
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"May I have this dance? (laughs)"
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"Kidding, I'm just here to chaperone."
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"Unless you're bored. Then let's boogie."
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"(gasps) what are you doing here?"
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"I told you I'd make it."
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"Now I'm gonna need you to leave."
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"Will you stop with that?"
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"I really want to be here at this dance."
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"You can't deny me that pleasure, adam."
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"Go away!"
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"But you're the one who asked me to teach you how to dance."
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"It was a mistake."
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"I asked for your help in a moment of weakness."
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"It'll never happen again."
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"Okay. I guess I'll just go then."
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"(swishing)"
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"Adult adam: The sound of those swishing parachute pants running away"
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"Was the sound of victory."
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"So, then, why did I feel so bad?"
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"Even though I was forced to hurt my mom in the name of love,"
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"I had to forge on."
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"I'd charm dana with a cup of hawaiian punch"
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"And then make my move."
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"Dana. (panting) hey."
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"Want some punch? No, I'm just gonna go"
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"Hang outside until my mom dances herself out."
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"I didn't know your mom was a chaperone."
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"Yeah, and she went out for margaritas"
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"With the other moms before the dance."
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"It's so humiliating."
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"Adult adam: Turns out, my mom was right about one thing..."
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"Every kid is embarrassed by their parents. Mom!"
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"And it gave me an idea. Mom!"
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"Don't worry. I'm just leaving."
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"No. I need your help."
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"Oh, no. You don't get my help."
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"Not after you said you're never gonna ask for it again."
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"That's not how this works."
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"I'm sorry, okay?"
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"Sometimes, I need your help."
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"But sometimes, I just want you gone."
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"Well, that's confusing!"
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"I know. It makes no sense."
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"But for now, that's just how it's gonna be."
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"So, what do you want?"
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"I want you to go on that dance floor"
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"And just be yourself."
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"I can do that."
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"♪ we can dance if we want to"
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"♪ we can leave your friends behind"
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"♪ 'cause your friends don't dance, and if they don't dance"
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"♪ well, they're no friends of mine"
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"♪ say, we can go where we want to"
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"♪ a place where they will never find"
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"♪ and we can act like we come from out of this world"
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"♪ leave the real one far behind"
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"Well, what do you know?"
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"No one's looking at your mom anymore."
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"Did you do that for me?"
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"Well, I definitely didn't do it for me."
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"♪ we can go where we want to"
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"♪ the night is young, and so am I"
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"Adult adam: My plan had worked."
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"I'd saved dana,"
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"But I couldn't have predicted what happened next."
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"My mom actually got"
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"Junior-high-school kids to dance..."
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"And it was epic."
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"♪ and you can act real rude and totally removed"
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"♪ and I can act like an imbecile"
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"♪ say, we can dance, we can dance"
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"♪ everything's out of control ♪"
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"(slow ballad playing)"
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"Come on! I like the fast ones!"
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"You know what? I'm gonna go out and get some fresh air."
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"Why don't you come with me?"
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"Have fun, baby."
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"Adult adam: Normally, we don't say "I love you" in our family."
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"Luckily for me, my mom could read lips."
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"♪ I was always reachin'"
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"♪ you were just a girl I knew"
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"♪ I took for granted the friend I have in you"
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"Want some company?"
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"I am a terrible father."
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"I'll take that as a yes."
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