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Clips from Seinfeld - The Mango (S05E05)

"Have you ever, you know..."
Seinfeld
"- ...faked it? - Yeah, sometimes."
Seinfeld
"- Really, like when? - If we went to a Broadway show..."
Seinfeld
"- ...if we had really good seats. - Yeah, well..."
Seinfeld
"You know, if it's enough already, and I just wanna get some sleep."
Seinfeld
"- I really don't feel like seeing her. - You know, I faked it."
Seinfeld
"- What? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- You faked it? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- Why would you do that? - Well, you know..."
Seinfeld
"...if it's enough already, and I just wanna get some sleep."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, but why would you-?"
Seinfeld
"- Bad peach? - It's terrible!"
Seinfeld
"- Did you get that at Joe's? - Of course I got it at Joe's."
Seinfeld
"Surprising. His fruit's usually the best."
Seinfeld
"You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna return this."
Seinfeld
"- You're returning used fruit? - Jerry, this peach is subpar."
Seinfeld
"- So, what do you want me to do? - I want restitution."
Seinfeld
"Restitution? You want restitution?"
Seinfeld
"- Why should I give you restitution? - It's no good."
Seinfeld
"- Once I put it out, it ends for me. - It's still your fruit."
Seinfeld
"- You gotta stand behind your fruit. - I stand behind my fruit."
Seinfeld
"- So? - Hey, you got a bad peach..."
Seinfeld
"...that's an act of God. He makes the peaches. I sell the peaches."
Seinfeld
"You got a problem, you talk to him."
Seinfeld
"You know, this whole place is going... downhill."
Seinfeld
"I could've come in here last week with a bad plum, but I let it go."
Seinfeld
"Take your business elsewhere. I don't want your business."
Seinfeld
"- Now you don't want my business? - I don't."
Seinfeld
"And at this moment, you're banned from this store. You're banned!"
Seinfeld
"But what am I gonna do for fruit?"
Seinfeld
"You seem like you really enjoyed your risotto."
Seinfeld
"You have a very contented air over there."
Seinfeld
"You look very contented, very satisfied."
Seinfeld
"- Are you satisfied? - I'm very satisfied."
Seinfeld
"I'm sure if you weren't satisfied, you would say something, wouldn't you?"
Seinfeld
"- I probably would. - Sure."
Seinfeld
"But then again, I'm an enigma."
Seinfeld
"Hey, listen, instead of the movie..."
Seinfeld
"...maybe we'll go back and..."
Seinfeld
"...you know..."
Seinfeld
"Maybe."
Seinfeld
"So..."
Seinfeld
"...you feel okay about that whole thing..."
Seinfeld
"...what we do in there."
Seinfeld
"You're generally okay with everything in there?"
Seinfeld
"Generally."
Seinfeld
"Do you feel the way you feel after the risotto?"
Seinfeld
"Well, no. I feel full after the risotto."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Oh, God."
Seinfeld
"Satisfied?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, you know what? You wanna go see that new Meryl Streep movie?"
Seinfeld
"- Meryl Streep? - You don't like her?"
Seinfeld
"She's okay."
Seinfeld
"God, I love her, Jerry. She's so authentic."
Seinfeld
"You believe everything is actually happening to her. No acting there."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. You don't want coffee, do you? - I really admire actors, you know."
Seinfeld
"It's just such an incredible skill to pull that off."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, yeah. Can we get off of this?"
Seinfeld
"- What's the matter? - Nothing."
Seinfeld
"You're not still thinking about that, are you?"
Seinfeld
"- No, no. - Oh, good."
Seinfeld
"Give me another shot."
Seinfeld
"- What? - Another shot. I want another shot."
Seinfeld
"- You mean...? - Yes."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, no. I don't think so. - Come on."
Seinfeld
"One shot. I could do it. I know I could do it."
Seinfeld
"Jerry, we're friends. We can't do that. It would ruin our friendship."
Seinfeld
"Oh, friendship. Friendship, schmiendship."
Seinfeld
"- No, that's important to me. - We won't ruin the friendship."
Seinfeld
"- Yes, we will. - Elaine."
Seinfeld
"No, Jerry, it is out of the question."
Seinfeld
"You know what sex does to a friendship. It kills it."
Seinfeld
"Half-hour. Give me a half-hour."
Seinfeld
"- No. - Okay, 15 minutes."
Seinfeld
"I guarantee you, 15 minutes, I can make it happen."
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"You're worried I'll be able to do it, aren't you?"
Seinfeld
"No, it doesn't matter. Jerry, I don't care."
Seinfeld
"No, that's it. That's it. You like having this over me."
Seinfeld
"- You don't want me to do it. - That is so ridiculous."
Seinfeld
"- Come on, Elaine! - No."
Seinfeld
"- Elaine. - No!"
Seinfeld
"- It's Jerry's fault. - Jerry?"
Seinfeld
"Jerry and Elaine. They made me nuts."
Seinfeld
"Oh, I don't care, George. Really, it's all right."
Seinfeld
"So you feel okay?"
Seinfeld
"Well, it's not like after the risotto."
Seinfeld
"Well, good night."
Seinfeld
"I still don't understand why we had to walk out on that movie."
Seinfeld
"Oh, that Meryl Streep, she's such a phony baloney."
Seinfeld
"Good night. Thanks for a really fabulous evening."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, what, you're upset? - Yes, I'm upset. Can't you tell?"
Seinfeld
"No, I can't. Maybe you're faking."
Seinfeld
"I'm really, really sorry I told you that."
Seinfeld
"- I'm sorry too. - Well, stop being such a baby."
Seinfeld
"- You're a baby! - You're a baby!"
Seinfeld
"It's all your fault."
Seinfeld
"You and Elaine, all that orgasm talk."
Seinfeld
"She did have an orgasm, she didn't. Orgasm this, orgasm that."
Seinfeld
"I got so focused on it."
Seinfeld
"I started to panic and... I lost it."
Seinfeld
"I tried everything. I was talking to him."
Seinfeld
""Please wake up. Do something.""
Seinfeld
"They're mysterious little fellows, aren't they?"
Seinfeld
"I hate him."
Seinfeld
"You know, it happens to everybody. Happened to Houdini."
Seinfeld
"And he could get out of a trunk with his hands in chains."
Seinfeld
"But he had a problem with that."
Seinfeld
"- The miracle is that it ever happens. - It's like a magic trick."
Seinfeld
"Sometimes I think it would be easier to bend a spoon mentally..."
Seinfeld
"...than to make that transformation."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - Hey."
Seinfeld
"Listen..."
Seinfeld
"...if I give you money, will you go out and get me some fruit?"
Seinfeld
"- Why can't you get it? - Well, I got banned from the store."
Seinfeld
"I can't go back in there now."
Seinfeld
"- What happened? - We had a fight over the peach..."
Seinfeld
"...and Joe doesn't want my business."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, is that a joke about Houdini? - No."
Seinfeld
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