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Clips from Avenue 5 - Eight Arms But No Hands (S01E01)

"That button initiates prelaunch."
Avenue 5
"The rest is automated."
Avenue 5
"What the fuck is the point of having a pilot?"
Avenue 5
"There is a second button."
Avenue 5
"I shall press that in due course."
Avenue 5
"-Oh, good. That sounds fun. -I'm Paul."
Avenue 5
"Oh, yes! I've bagged him!"
Avenue 5
"This is what big game hunters must feel like."
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"If I was that pilot, I'd have my finger"
Avenue 5
"on the ejector seat button the whole way home."
Avenue 5
"You guys realize I hear every word"
Avenue 5
"you're saying about me. It's very hurtful."
Avenue 5
"Uh... Well, Mr. Judd,"
Avenue 5
"back on Earth, people really hate you."
Avenue 5
"So if you go back, you're gonna get ripped limb from limb,"
Avenue 5
"and then bit of limb from bit of limb, so..."
Avenue 5
"No! Me? Why?"
Avenue 5
"Uh, well, in order: hatred, yes, you,"
Avenue 5
"and because you contemplated mass murder."
Avenue 5
"On second thought, what's six months anyway?"
Avenue 5
"I was in my mom's womb longer than that."
Avenue 5
"It was great getting to know you."
Avenue 5
"Thank you so much for sharing that story about your name."
Avenue 5
"-He doesn't wanna go, he doesn't wanna go. -IRIS: No, no, no, no--"
Avenue 5
"(ALL CLAMORING)"
Avenue 5
"-Boom. The hero returns. -Yeah!"
Avenue 5
"Billie, your laugh. It's a bit loud. Work on that."
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"What? Where the hell are you going?"
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"-JUDD: You tricked me! -(CLAMORING)"
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"Okay, the sad clown"
Avenue 5
"seems to have misunderstood what we're trying to do here."
Avenue 5
"All right, let's start this mother!"
Avenue 5
"Who the hell is he, and why is he in Judd's seat?"
Avenue 5
"That is Jordan Hatwal,"
Avenue 5
"which is an anagram for Huge Asshole!"
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"Jordan, I did like you, but I am very, very weird."
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"-That is true. She is. -Where's the pilot gone?"
Avenue 5
"Just remembered I've got to, uh, change the, uh, travel catheter."
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"Fuck me!"
Avenue 5
"You're gonna drive me back to Earth?"
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"That little boy's grown into a man."
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"He's got himself some fat balls!"
Avenue 5
"Our relationship is more important"
Avenue 5
"than your lateral career move."
Avenue 5
"-JORDAN: Jesus! -DOUG: Go, get in there, honey."
Avenue 5
"MIA: Oh, my gosh! I have never been"
Avenue 5
"more attracted to you than right now!"
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"PAUL: Oh, oh, oh. Hey! Hey! Only one of you can go home."
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"All right? No one else sits that seat."
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"Doug, I want you to go. I want you to get home safe."
Avenue 5
"No, it has to be you. It has to be you."
Avenue 5
"-Fucking love you, Mia. -Oh, Doug!"
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"It never felt right to just yell at someone like Mads"
Avenue 5
"and have him just absorb it."
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"I also love you, yellow princess."
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"Will you shut the shit up?"
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"-(STAMMERS) Okay. Yeah. -All that stuff about your laugh"
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"and then trying to get in the shuttle,"
Avenue 5
"it was all just a joke. An unclear joke."
Avenue 5
"You know, Jordan, you are an unclear joke."
Avenue 5
"-(JUDD SCREAMS) -(ALL GASP)"
Avenue 5
"Hey. Did somebody order the medieval feast?"
Avenue 5
"-BILLIE: That Joe's bits? -I, uh, stripped him for parts."
Avenue 5
"Did you only have a clear bag?"
Avenue 5
"No, it actually took me a while to find this."
Avenue 5
"It's biodegradable."
Avenue 5
"So, unfortunately, are Joe's hands."
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"They burst in space."
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"Poor Joe, he'd be so sad knowing he's not useful."
Avenue 5
"Handy."
Avenue 5
"Will you pause"
Avenue 5
"the shitty open mic night routine"
Avenue 5
"for just two minutes?"
Avenue 5
"I should definitely go."
Avenue 5
"It's what Sarah would want."
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"I honestly never heard her say a good word about you, Nadia."
Avenue 5
"RYAN: (YELLING) Right! No, no, no! What do you think--"
Avenue 5
"-No, no, no, no! Get back! Get back! Mia! -MIA: No!"
Avenue 5
"Right! (SHRIEKING) That's it!"
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"My patience has snapped"
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"like a 200-year-old breadstick! I've had it!"
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"I am the captain still!"
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"And I decide who stays and who goes!"
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"You two! Pinky and Perky! Out!"
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"-Really? -Go on! Get out!"
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"MIA: You have an anger problem."
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"That's the captain I remember from that headshot."
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"-MADS: Are they coming back? -Yeah."
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"(NADIA SOBBING)"
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"(QUIETLY) Matt, give me Joe."
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"No-- no, no, no, don't do that, not now. Just give me Joe."
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"Oh look, it's the Queen of Sheba and the Frank of Sheba."
Avenue 5
"-Look busy. -So, uh-- Whoa."
Avenue 5
"What's that?"
Avenue 5
"It's a bag with some of my friend in it."
Avenue 5
"Okay--"
Avenue 5
"You're gonna need a cool bag because that will drip."
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"Karen, sorry, I don't mean to be impolite,"
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"-but shut your piehole. -Hey!"
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"-Frank. -Frank."
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"Just so everybody understands, whoever goes back,"
Avenue 5
"takes Joe with them. All right?"
Avenue 5
"Okay, okay."
Avenue 5
"Maybe... (GAGS) Maybe you should go."
Avenue 5
"What, me?"
Avenue 5
"Get some rest. Watch some cricket."
Avenue 5
"Why? Because I'm standing here like this?"
Avenue 5
"You realize I don't usually."
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"You're very unhappy."
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"You know that thing you do where you act sarcastic"
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"so we all feel sorry for you? It works. We do."
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"Whatever it is you were trying to do,"
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"we appreciate that."
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"I related to you"
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"-because you always fell short. -Yeah."
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"You know what? Maybe I should be captain."
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"It's-- It's kinda weird that I'm not."
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"RYAN: Well, I am moved by your faith."
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"And then your lack of it. And now, your indifference."
Avenue 5
"Bye."
Avenue 5
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