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Clips from Avenue 5 - Eight Arms But No Hands (S01E01)

"Ooh. Ah."
Avenue 5
"Rav?"
Avenue 5
"Hello, Douglas. How are you? Gosh, this is awkward."
Avenue 5
"Last time I saw you, you were kissing my neck."
Avenue 5
"Thank you so much for trapping me up here"
Avenue 5
"-with Barney fucking Rubble! -DOUG: Mia!"
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"God, for the last time,"
Avenue 5
"I was legitimately trying to help..."
Avenue 5
"-Oh, were you? -...save this miserable marriage"
Avenue 5
"by sending him away from me and you into orbit!"
Avenue 5
"Get your hands away from my girlfriend, mysterious lady."
Avenue 5
"Girlfriend?"
Avenue 5
"No, no, no, no!"
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"Hey! I know some street moves! Okay?"
Avenue 5
"I don't want to use my street moves on you, man."
Avenue 5
"-MIA: Let's-- -(MADS GRUNTING)"
Avenue 5
"-MIA: Guys-- -DOUG: Where is he?"
Avenue 5
"-(MADS YELPS) -(DOUG GRUNTS)"
Avenue 5
"I thought this was gonna be so much hotter than it is."
Avenue 5
"We're supposed to be looking for Matt!"
Avenue 5
"Sensing a lot of tension in this room."
Avenue 5
"Every room you're in ripples with tension."
Avenue 5
"(GRUNTING)"
Avenue 5
"Come on, we're running out of time to find Matt. This way!"
Avenue 5
"MIA: Get your head out of his ballsack! Let's go."
Avenue 5
"Why do I keep thinking I'm clever? I'm not."
Avenue 5
"On a good day, I'm barely not stupid."
Avenue 5
"-Matt! -You are clever."
Avenue 5
"I remember saying that to Iris"
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"the first time I saw your headshot."
Avenue 5
"Well, exactly. I'm not clever,"
Avenue 5
"but I look as if I should be. (SCREECHES) Matt!"
Avenue 5
"Maybe I should shave this off."
Avenue 5
"It's giving me delusions of wisdom."
Avenue 5
"Actually, you can't."
Avenue 5
"Beardedness is stipulated in your contract."
Avenue 5
"(SCREECHES) Matt!"
Avenue 5
"MATT: Ryan. Judd."
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"What... the fuck have you been doing?"
Avenue 5
"Just, uh..."
Avenue 5
"you know, having snack attacks and shrieking."
Avenue 5
"Did you not hear..."
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"I mean, you're not even hiding."
Avenue 5
"Well, we're all hiding. I'm hiding."
Avenue 5
"-You're hiding. -You are."
Avenue 5
"Wh-- What the hell was "the void?""
Avenue 5
"-My empty tummy. -Oh my god."
Avenue 5
"That makes so much more sense"
Avenue 5
"than a random white room with a big fan."
Avenue 5
"Okay, well, Matt, we need the airlock codes."
Avenue 5
"No. I've been itemizing my thoughts. Thought 309:"
Avenue 5
""Every year, we pass the pre-anniversary of our death"
Avenue 5
"but we don't even know it, so we don't get presents.""
Avenue 5
"Seriously, Matt, we need-- we need the codes now, so--"
Avenue 5
"Thought 14:"
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""Poor octopus..."
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"eight arms, but no hands."
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"Fuck you, God.""
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"RYAN: Yeah, that is a good point."
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"(YELLS) The codes! Matt, we need the codes."
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"-Give me-- Give me the codes. -Oh, jeez."
Avenue 5
"Where-- Where are they? What are you doing?"
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"What are you doing-- No, you stand upright, and I'll--"
Avenue 5
"No, no, no. You stay--"
Avenue 5
"All right, full report. What is going on?"
Avenue 5
"Mom, you're sweet."
Avenue 5
"JUDD: Oh my god!"
Avenue 5
"-Hi, Rav! -Rav!"
Avenue 5
"Not now, Ryan. Oh, don't "Hey, Rav" me."
Avenue 5
"-You need to apologize. -For what? About--"
Avenue 5
"Oh, is this about the fact that everybody on Earth hates you?"
Avenue 5
"'Cause I am against that."
Avenue 5
"I'm sorry, that's not good enough."
Avenue 5
"I had to leave an entire planet behind"
Avenue 5
"because a baying mob wanted to bay me to death!"
Avenue 5
"My life on Earth is buggered because of you!"
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"And all I'm asking is that you just acknowledge that"
Avenue 5
"and fucking apologize!"
Avenue 5
"Whoa, whoa! You work for me."
Avenue 5
"With deep bloody regret, I do!"
Avenue 5
"-(ALL GASP) -(YELLS) Iris!"
Avenue 5
"-That felt amazing! -That's assault."
Avenue 5
"Right! Right. Yes, that is assault."
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"-(ALL GASPING) -JUDD: (SCREAMS) Iris!"
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"-Why didn't I walk away? Iris! -That's real violence."
Avenue 5
"Right, who's next? You."
Avenue 5
"RYAN: You better give her the codes, Matt."
Avenue 5
"Violence is never the solution."
Avenue 5
"-Just hit him. I think hit him. -Oh, oh, oh--"
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"I haven't even touched you yet."
Avenue 5
"I'm telling you the number. Oh-oh-oh-five."
Avenue 5
"Five?"
Avenue 5
"-BILLIE: Cyrus? Zero-zero-zero-five... -For Avenue 5. I made it so that"
Avenue 5
"anyone thinking rationally would be able to guess it."
Avenue 5
"But anyone thinking irrationally,"
Avenue 5
"anyone suicidal, would not."
Avenue 5
"Well, I didn't get it. Does that mean I'm suicidal?"
Avenue 5
"Because honestly, just give me the nod,"
Avenue 5
"-and I'm ready to-- -Don't say that. Ever."
Avenue 5
"Uh, where's Judd?"
Avenue 5
"SPIKE: He can't-- He can't have gotten far."
Avenue 5
"He must be headed for the shuttle."
Avenue 5
"-What did you say? -Oh, shittle."
Avenue 5
"-RAV MULCAIR: Mia-- -(ALL CLAMORING)"
Avenue 5
"DOUG: Since when is there a shuttle?"
Avenue 5
"(PANTING)"
Avenue 5
"What? All this time, I've been unduly pleasant to everyone,"
Avenue 5
"and there was a way to get off?"
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"Can we ease up? I have recent knees."
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"Come on, people, come on! (CLAPPING)"
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"-Faster, faster! -(PANTING)"
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"We run out of time, I'm gonna be taking names,"
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"room numbers, and teeth!"
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"Honey, people do not respond well"
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"to threats of dental violence!"
Avenue 5
"Well, you do, Frank."
Avenue 5
"JUDD: Go, go, go, go, starbuck!"
Avenue 5
"Yes, sir."
Avenue 5
"Go! Go, go, go!"
Avenue 5
"Yes, sir. We're going, going, going, going."
Avenue 5
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