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Clips from Welcome To Flatch (2022) - Dinners, Dresses, and Dumps (S01E01)

"No. (sighs) I'm hiding from Beth."
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
"-Wow. I thought you loved her. -I do."
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"From afar."
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"-KELLY: Mm. -You don't understand."
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"She's always there, every time I turn around."
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"Seriously, it's like, Beth, Beth, Beth."
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"It's like a horror movie without the cool murdering."
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"-(cell phone vibrates) -God."
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"Just texting, texting, texting."
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"-(cell phone vibrates) -38 messages."
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"And that's just since I got here."
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"I told you that this would end in misery."
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"Uh, it's not ending, no. I just--I need a little break."
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"Okay, well, if you're hiding from your girlfriend,"
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"-that's a really bad sign. -SHRUB: Okay."
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"Yeah, you wouldn't understand what you're talking about,"
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"because you're not even mature enough to be in a relationship."
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"-(cell phone vibrates) -Oh, my God. Stop."
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"Fine."
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"Okay, you can stay here. Just stay out of my way."
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"And those are not for you. Those are for my dad."
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"-Your dad? -Yeah. He's back."
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"And we're having family dinner tonight,"
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"so you're on the street as soon as he's home."
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"SHRUB: This is not gonna end well."
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"Like, she loves him and will literally do anything for him."
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"But trust me, he's just gonna walk in there,"
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"eat all of those cheese puffs,"
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"and then do something to seriously bum her out,"
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"like the Cheeto Bandito."
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"And, obviously, I'm aware that that is a dated reference,"
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"and we've all moved beyond such a simple"
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"and offensive stereotype."
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"But it's true. He's gonna destroy her."
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"And then guess who has to pick up the pieces"
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"after Hurricane Bobby blows through?"
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"-Moi truly. -(cell phone vibrates)"
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"And with this Beth situation, I literally am about to bust."
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"My bandwidth is maxed to the max."
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"52 messages."
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"-(cell phone vibrates) -53. Oh, my God."
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"Okay, what do you think?"
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"Should I use the plastic forks or the real ones?"
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"I feel like the real ones are, like, too formal, right?"
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"You know, Kel, um, you know, Bobby's pretty unpredictable."
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"I know."
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"I can see him being happy with either."
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"I'm gonna put down both, 'cause--"
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"I mean in life, you know?"
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"I don't want you getting your feelings hurt"
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"if he doesn't show up."
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"I think I know my own dad, Shrub."
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"Besides, you're one to talk about relationships."
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"(door opens)"
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"Look who's home. Dad."
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"Hi, Dad."
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"There she is--Kells Bells."
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"Hey, Shrub. Looking good there, little man."
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"-Thank you, Uncle Bobby. -Yeah."
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"All right. This looks great, Kel."
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"Thank you."
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"You're cool if your mom and me eat up in Casa del Tina, right?"
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"-Yeah, of course. -Yeah."
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"Thanks, Kel."
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"Okay."
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"Oh, wait, Dad, you forgot your vegetables!"
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"(clears throat)"
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"The only thing I expect out of you right now is,"
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""Hey, Kelly, can I have some cheese puffs?""
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"Um, can I?"
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"No, you can't."
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"(needle buzzing)"
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"CHERYL: (whispering) Mandy."
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"Joe's definitely not here, right?"
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"Oh, yeah. Coast is clear."
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"(needle buzzes)"
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"Oh, what are you working on?"
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"Just, uh, practicing some new tattoo designs,"
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"in case I get any calls today."
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"I figured if I practice"
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"on these festive seasonal squashes,"
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"I could use them as Christmas decorations."
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"-That's Rudolph. -Oh, yeah."
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"No, I can--um, I sort of see the red nose."
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"-Giuliani. -Totally."
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"(chuckles) Very creative."
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"Can I ask you to do me a huge favor?"
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"I had a date with Jimmy, and I just--I really need help"
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"getting out of this dress."
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"See, the zipper got jammed,"
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"and I have been stuck in it all day."
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"Oh, look at you, Fancy Nancy."
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"Oh, wow."
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"I haven't seen that in a while--"
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"-the dress. -(Cheryl laughs)"
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"What's the occasion? Big Stuff Friday?"
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"(laughing) Big Stuff..."
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"-She had a date with Jimmy. -Mandy."
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"(pager beeping)"
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"Ha ha."
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"Business is taking off."
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"You mind if I take an hour or so to knock out a tat?"
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"-Do I have a choice? -Nope."
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"So things are going well with Jimmy."
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"Yeah."
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"Did he give you a chocolate fountain?"
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"Not a metaphor."
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"-Oh, yeah, I know. -Gross."
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"I would never use that as a metaphor."
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"'Cause I wore the dress when you took me"
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"to the place with the chocolate fountain."
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"Yeah. No. That's was a fun night."
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"Yeah."
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"Well, I have a date..."
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"with a broken dishwasher."
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"Big Stuff Friday's, like, our busy time right now."
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"It's good to see you, though."
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"The dress still looks great."
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"-See you soon. -See you."
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"(footsteps approaching)"
Welcome To Flatch (2022)
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