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Clips from Girls5eva - Triumphant Return to the Studio (S02E02)

- I do not get the foot thing at all.

"- I do not get the foot thing at all."

Girls5eva

I am just a meat-and-potatoes genitals gal.

"I am just a meat-and-potatoes genitals gal."

Girls5eva

- Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

"- Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no."

Girls5eva

They saw it? - Saw what?

"They saw it? - Saw what?"

Girls5eva

- Fricking wind!

"- Fricking wind!"

Girls5eva

Oh, my God. This is bad. This is bad.

"Oh, my God. This is bad. This is bad."

Girls5eva

[tense music]

"[tense music]"

Girls5eva

- What did they see, Wick?

"- What did they see, Wick?"

Girls5eva

- My bad foot.

"- My bad foot."

Girls5eva

- What? - Okay.

"- What? - Okay."

Girls5eva

I have a good foot

"I have a good foot"

Girls5eva

and a bad foot.

"and a bad foot."

Girls5eva

The good foot, the left one, is classical perfection.

"The good foot, the left one, is classical perfection."

Girls5eva

High arch, baby bottom heel.

"High arch, baby bottom heel."

Girls5eva

Might as well be carved by Michelangelo's sword.

"Might as well be carved by Michelangelo's sword."

Girls5eva

That's why I always put it front of house,

"That's why I always put it front of house,"

Girls5eva

pose with one leg out, Angelina style.

"pose with one leg out, Angelina style."

Girls5eva

But the other foot, while fully functional,

"But the other foot, while fully functional,"

Girls5eva

is far from beautiful.

"is far from beautiful."

Girls5eva

Nicknamed Reek,

"Nicknamed Reek,"

Girls5eva

it lives in the shadows.

"it lives in the shadows."

Girls5eva

I've kept it hidden my entire career.

"I've kept it hidden my entire career."

Girls5eva

- How have I never noticed this?

"- How have I never noticed this?"

Girls5eva

- It's been buried in the sand during spring breaks,

"- It's been buried in the sand during spring breaks,"

Girls5eva

hidden behind bunnies in "I'd rather go naked

"hidden behind bunnies in "I'd rather go naked"

Girls5eva

than wear fur" ads.

"than wear fur" ads."

Girls5eva

I even tried to launch a doomed shoe line.

"I even tried to launch a doomed shoe line."

Girls5eva

They're from my collection, Miss Match,

"They're from my collection, Miss Match,"

Girls5eva

spelled M-I-S-S.

"spelled M-I-S-S."

Girls5eva

But let's circle back to Mel's exciting news.

"But let's circle back to Mel's exciting news."

Girls5eva

[sighs] - Well, can we see it?

"[sighs] - Well, can we see it?"

Girls5eva

- Yeah, out with it.

"- Yeah, out with it."

Girls5eva

Once you've seen something called geographic tongue,

"Once you've seen something called geographic tongue,"

Girls5eva

you can handle anything.

"you can handle anything."

Girls5eva

Come on. - Oh, God.

"Come on. - Oh, God."

Girls5eva

- Slap that roast up here.

"- Slap that roast up here."

Girls5eva

- Oh, God. Oh, God.

"- Oh, God. Oh, God."

Girls5eva

- Wow, that nail has a real

"- Wow, that nail has a real"

Girls5eva

fried plantain kinda vibe to it.

"fried plantain kinda vibe to it."

Girls5eva

- I know.

"- I know."

Girls5eva

- Where's that toe trying to go?

"- Where's that toe trying to go?"

Girls5eva

- Away from itself. Wouldn't you?

"- Away from itself. Wouldn't you?"

Girls5eva

- Hi, guys. [gasps]

"- Hi, guys. [gasps]"

Girls5eva

You're not perfect?

"You're not perfect?"

Girls5eva

- Oh, God.

"- Oh, God."

Girls5eva

I will not lose my perv base.

"I will not lose my perv base."

Girls5eva

- So how did your announcement go, Sum?

"- So how did your announcement go, Sum?"

Girls5eva

- Well...

"- Well..."

Girls5eva

- Wickie! - Oh, there she is! Wickie!

"- Wickie! - Oh, there she is! Wickie!"

Girls5eva

- Wickie!

"- Wickie!"

Girls5eva

- Wickie, show us your bad foot!

"- Wickie, show us your bad foot!"

Girls5eva

[paparazzi clamoring]

"[paparazzi clamoring]"

Girls5eva

- The lies about my feet are just that: lies, fake news.

"- The lies about my feet are just that: lies, fake news."

Girls5eva

No further comment.

"No further comment."

Girls5eva

[paparazzi clamoring]

"[paparazzi clamoring]"

Girls5eva

- So we'll just do separate lives.

"- So we'll just do separate lives."

Girls5eva

- Well, how is that any different

"- Well, how is that any different"

Girls5eva

than what you've been doing for years?

"than what you've been doing for years?"

Girls5eva

- Yeah, how on earth is that progress?

"- Yeah, how on earth is that progress?"

Girls5eva

- Well...

"- Well..."

Girls5eva

I was never living my separate life before.

"I was never living my separate life before."

Girls5eva

You know, now I can open my eyes to men.

"You know, now I can open my eyes to men."

Girls5eva

Ah.

"Ah."

Girls5eva

Hey.

"Hey."

Girls5eva

You know, I really like a man who wears...

"You know, I really like a man who wears..."

Girls5eva

four different sweatshirts.

"four different sweatshirts."

Girls5eva

[clears throat] This looks comfy.

"[clears throat] This looks comfy."

Girls5eva

- My truck's over there.

"- My truck's over there."

Girls5eva

I'm kinda full,

"I'm kinda full,"

Girls5eva

so you're gonna have to do most of the moving.

"so you're gonna have to do most of the moving."

Girls5eva

- You're just an example, sir.

"- You're just an example, sir."

Girls5eva

[plucky music]

"[plucky music]"

Girls5eva

- Hello, foot soldiers.

"- Hello, foot soldiers."

Girls5eva

As you know, since wikiFeet came to be,

"As you know, since wikiFeet came to be,"

Girls5eva

I've had the highest possible feet rating.

"I've had the highest possible feet rating."

Girls5eva

My feet have been breathing the same rare air

"My feet have been breathing the same rare air"

Girls5eva

as Mariah or Eliza Dushku before baby.

"as Mariah or Eliza Dushku before baby."

Girls5eva

Today that all changed.

"Today that all changed."

Girls5eva

But I assure you the blurry photo you saw

"But I assure you the blurry photo you saw"

Girls5eva

was doctored.

"was doctored."

Girls5eva

Let me show you what we all know to be true:

"Let me show you what we all know to be true:"

Girls5eva

that both my feet look like they were

"that both my feet look like they were"

Girls5eva

meticulously drawn by a lonely anime guy.

"meticulously drawn by a lonely anime guy."

Girls5eva

* *

"* *"

Girls5eva

[phone dinging] Loving those likes and hearts.

"[phone dinging] Loving those likes and hearts."

Girls5eva

Thank you.

"Thank you."

Girls5eva

[whispering] What are you doing?

"[whispering] What are you doing?"

Girls5eva

- It's my room.

"- It's my room."

Girls5eva

[phone buzzing]

"[phone buzzing]"

Girls5eva

- [gasps]

"- [gasps]"

Girls5eva

Two mirrors?

"Two mirrors?"

Girls5eva

Now it's too many feet.

"Now it's too many feet."

Girls5eva

[tense music]

"[tense music]"

Girls5eva

Disappointed!

"Disappointed!"

Girls5eva

- What's our secret to everlasting love?

"- What's our secret to everlasting love?"

Girls5eva

- Tony C.'s Bail Bonds in Fort Thomas, Arizona!

"- Tony C.'s Bail Bonds in Fort Thomas, Arizona!"

Girls5eva

- Family-owned and faith-based, it's your one-stop shop

"- Family-owned and faith-based, it's your one-stop shop"

Girls5eva

for all your bail-related needs.

"for all your bail-related needs."

Girls5eva

both: Link in bio, y'all.

"both: Link in bio, y'all."

Girls5eva

- Ahh, shweet.

"- Ahh, shweet."

Girls5eva

Only ten more to bang out,

"Only ten more to bang out,"

Girls5eva

and then we can start on the Cameos.

"and then we can start on the Cameos."

Girls5eva

- You know, I thought I'd have trouble acting like your wife,

"- You know, I thought I'd have trouble acting like your wife,"

Girls5eva

but acting is easy.

"but acting is easy."

Girls5eva

Like, why is Daniel Day-Lewis always like

"Like, why is Daniel Day-Lewis always like"

Girls5eva

[deeper voice] "I'm retiring. This is hard"?

"[deeper voice] "I'm retiring. This is hard"?"

Girls5eva

[gasps] Ahh! I got tagged!

"[gasps] Ahh! I got tagged!"

Girls5eva

- Oh.

"- Oh."

Girls5eva

- Oh, no. Oh, no.

"- Oh, no. Oh, no."

Girls5eva

- Oh.

"- Oh."

Girls5eva

- I only did flirting once to prove a point.

"- I only did flirting once to prove a point."

Girls5eva

- Well, I guess we should have talked about discretion.

"- Well, I guess we should have talked about discretion."

Girls5eva

- [gasps]

"- [gasps]"

Girls5eva

I don't like this, Kev.

"I don't like this, Kev."

Girls5eva

- Oh, babe, it's not that bad.

"- Oh, babe, it's not that bad."

Girls5eva

I mean, this account isn't even verified.

"I mean, this account isn't even verified."

Girls5eva

It only has, like, 20 likes.

"It only has, like, 20 likes."

Girls5eva

And it ends in a question mark,

"And it ends in a question mark,"

Girls5eva

like, "Is she cheating on Kev?"

"like, "Is she cheating on Kev?""

Girls5eva

- But what about when I wanna do real stuff?

"- But what about when I wanna do real stuff?"

Girls5eva

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