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Clips from Betas - One on One (S01E01)

"Hopefully, this one will come through"
Betas
"so I can get us what we need."
Betas
"Oh, cool. Who's it with?"
Betas
"David Chu."
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"Oh yeah? Is he paying you in rufies?"
Betas
"(laughs)"
Betas
"That was funny."
Betas
"We'd make Valet-Me a premium launch partner with BRB --"
Betas
"on our homepage, the whole deal."
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"That's 80,000 fresh eyeballs minimum."
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"I bet you get a lot of eyeballs."
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"That's for you. I can tell you twerk hard."
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"Thanks."
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"She ratchet anyway."
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"Look, I respect your hustle, T.,"
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"and your whole FourSquare meets OKCupid vibe is tight --"
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"but dropping stacks on"
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"an untested beta isn't good business."
Betas
"- I gotta pass. - I thought you were on board."
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"I was. Now I'm not."
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"Maybe once y'all have uniques,"
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"we can revisit and talk hard numbers."
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"How am I supposed to get hard numbers"
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"without enough capital to seal the deal?"
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"Mm-hmm. That shit sound like a you prob, not a Chu prob."
Betas
"But if you want my advice, I'd suggest"
Betas
"slowin' your roll and raisin' a round."
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"No one's gonna invest after the fact"
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"if your launch is weak sauce."
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"Least I can do."
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"HOBBES: They got blackout curtains and a biometric lock."
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"So either they're building some kind of electromagnetic weapon,"
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"or they're very shy poopers."
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"Maybe they're just working. You should try it sometime."
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"Mitch, back me up on this, man."
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"Have you heard a fucking single word of English"
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"come out of any of these fuckers' mouths?"
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"Well, that's kinda racist. But no, I haven't."
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"That Motherfuddrucker."
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"I can't even look at his face anymore."
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"I gotta do something."
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"Yes, you have to work. We all do. Leave it alone."
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"You don't understand, bro-bro."
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"This is like, like walking in on George Lucas"
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"as he's sketching Jar Jar Binks for the first time."
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"I have a duty to stop him"
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"before he destroys everything we hold dear."
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"That's an oddly compelling point."
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"Thank you."
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"Wrestling! Can you believe that?"
Betas
"Apparently, my input is less important"
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"than roid-rage and unitards."
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"Glad The Murch is keeping himself entertained"
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"on his long, long spiral towards irrelevance."
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"Wow, you're so not helping right now."
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"What the fuck is up with this menu?"
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"What do you recommend?"
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"My current obsession is the Mundo Nova."
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"It's a single origin heirloom varietal, from Baratillo."
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"It's grown at 1,800 meters."
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"And it has notes of dragon fruit, rose hips and..."
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"What, are we fucking buying shampoo?"
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"- Caffeine. - Two, please."
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"Look, I know from experience that if you"
Betas
"do good work for George he's never gonna promote you."
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"You've become too valuable right where you are."
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"So you're saying I'm screwed."
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"No, I'm saying you either accept his terms and hate yourself,"
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"or you do what I did and get the fuck out."
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"Oh, they still haven't filled"
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"that position at GreenMob in Seattle."
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"Oh great. I can celebrate my 30th birthday"
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"with a pay cut and ten months of rain."
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"It's a chance to call the shots, run something of your own."
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"Maybe that's worth more than money."
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"I hear you got an offer from Wantful."
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"Yeah. Giving is the new taking, apparently."
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"You don't sound excited."
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"It's a job, not a vibrator."
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"Work with us instead."
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"I'm listening."
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"Once we go live we're gonna have"
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"80,000 users with 10,000 problems."
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"Now my guys are great with tech, but they're not..."
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"Look, you want an ad campaign,"
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"I'm happy to manipulate people and take their money."
Betas
"But that sounds like customer service."
Betas
"I need someone who can do it all,"
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"like we did with the founders video."
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"You know how to play the angles and you know this team."
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"And let me guess, you want me to work for equity."
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"What, the usual three percent?"
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"For you? I'd go five."
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"Flattering. But I need something real."
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"You ever hear of Ray Sidney?"
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"Is that the pock-marked guy from "Goodfellas"?"
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"Ray Sidney was employee number five at Google."
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"Cashed in his stock back in '03, worth over a billion dollars."
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"BRB is about to blow and I'm"
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"offering you the Ray Sidney seat."
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"Take it."
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"Somebody put on his Glengarry pants this morning."
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"What, next you're gonna tell me"
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"a million dollars isn't cool, a billion is."
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"So you'll do it?"
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"Look, long as you understand a girl's gotta eat."
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"That means paid gigs on the side, just until we get rich."
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"Unrelated -- you wouldn't happen to know"
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"where I could find Nash some new hardware on the cheap?"
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"Damn, Barrett, already turning the screws."
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"How desperate are you?"
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"On a scale from one to pretty fucking,"
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"I'd say pretty fucking."
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"Aloha."
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"It's, uh, it's not what you think."
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"Excuse me?"
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"A.W.E."
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"It's not some ATM that you can"
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"just pump and dump for a quick buck."
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"It's, uh, it's magic."
Betas
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