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Clips from Betas - One on One (S01E01)

"(crowd shouting)"
Betas
"Come on, Willie! Finish him!"
Betas
"CROWD: Oh!"
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"- Oh! - Yeah! Go, go, go. Woo!"
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"- Is he okay? - Hells no!"
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"Not after Chocolate Thunder! He's donezo!"
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"One, two, three!"
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"MITCHELL: Yeah!"
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"This is incredible!"
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"Woo!"
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"Dude, isn't this awesome? You come, you get wasted,"
Betas
"you see incredible feats of athleticism, and then,"
Betas
"afterwards, you get to hang out with the dudes"
Betas
"that performed 'em. It's like a farmer's market for kicking ass."
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"What's up, bro?"
Betas
"- Oh. Hey, buddy. What's up, man? - What's up?"
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"I'm Mitchell."
Betas
"Incredible Reefer Madness, man. Super awesome spot."
Betas
"Thanks, bro."
Betas
"What the fudge?"
Betas
"What is Mr. Murchison doing here?"
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"He's got a bid in to buy the league."
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"Wants to be our Vinny Mac."
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"Wait, Murch is an Agg-head?"
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"I dunno about that, lil' bro."
Betas
"But, uh, apparently he's got some big plans."
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"Wants to take us, like, national or whatever."
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"How could you let an outsider"
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"corrupt the artform like that, man?"
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"He's talkin' big money."
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"So, is it Mitchell with two "L" 's?"
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"Yeah, like sellout."
Betas
"I'm sorry, Mr. Blaze. I didn't mean a word I just said."
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"♪ I'm a broken man, I'm damaged goods ♪"
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"♪ Lock me in the basement with furnace soot... ♪"
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"And I thought oral hygiene couldn't be sexy."
Betas
"Thanks. But if you're angling for morning action,"
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"you might want to try some eye contact."
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"- Shit. - Something wrong?"
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"We launch in 96 hours and Hobbes just pinged me"
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"- that our hardware's on the fritz. - What?"
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"Something about Russian spies? I mean he's a crazy person."
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"No, what did you say about launch?"
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"We still have four weeks."
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"Murch pushed up the date."
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"And you didn't think to consult me?"
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"Me? He's your boss. I thought you were looped in."
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"Well, I wasn't."
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"He just wants to capitalize"
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"on the heat from the founders video."
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"We've preregistered 80,000 users."
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"I know the numbers. Which is why I think"
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"launching in four days is a huge mistake."
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"You don't have a stable build."
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"You don't have anyone to handle customers once you..."
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"You know, distracting me isn't gonna..."
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"(laughs)"
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"You sure?"
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"It just really tokes my cookies, you know?"
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"They take the thing you love, throw a bunch of cash at it,"
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"and then they ruin what made it awesome in the first place."
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"Doesn't matter if it's "W.W.F." or "B.I.G.""
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"Mo' money, mo' problems."
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"Yeah. Hey, look, I need you to focus on fixing the calendar."
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"The app keeps setting dates for 1913."
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"Maybe we should just build a time machine."
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"It's gotta be easier than the shit I'm dealing with right now."
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"Did you shower here?"
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"Yeah."
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"I took a jog. You know."
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"Gotta be limber for the big push, right?"
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"- Since when do you jog? - Since when do you shower?"
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"Hilarious. Listen, Nash-eesh, this calendar"
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"glitch is just the tip of the shit-storm."
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"All of the phones that we used to test the build are fried."
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"We need new ones stat."
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"I just bought those phones."
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"Listen..."
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"I think these Russian motherfuckers"
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"attacked our cell network with an "S.M.S." worm."
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"Why would you think that?"
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"Occam's Razor. The simplest explanation is usually true."
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"Plus they dress like The Talking Heads"
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"and they listen to polka. Untrustable."
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"You're setting them up to fail."
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"What BRB needs is time to perfect"
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"their product, not a lesson in rolling the dice."
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"Uh-huh."
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"Seriously? Are you capable of focusing for one minute?"
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"It's called multi-tasking. I happen to be"
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"researching an investment."
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"And what BRB needs is to capitalize on their momentum."
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"I know these guys are onto something big."
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"But the market is too crowded for a half-baked release."
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"Highlight was the talk of South By when they launched,"
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"then faded when their app drained everyone's battery."
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"And then they fixed the problem,"
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"and now they're bigger than ever."
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"Thus proving my point: users first, optimization second."
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"If I'd listened to you, Valet-Me would"
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"still be tinkering with their build,"
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"and not closing a multimillion- dollar deal with Chevy."
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"When I took this job, you told me that I'd be"
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"in charge, that I would manage our investments."
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"Our investments? Last time I checked,"
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"this was my company, financed with my money."
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"This is not a democracy. It's not up for debate."
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"BRB is launching."
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"I got your ping about the hardware."
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"What... what's going on?"
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"Test phones are toast."
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"And we can use a tower or two. Three would be amazing."
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"Yeah, like that chick in Total Recall."
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"I hope you're not talking about the remake,"
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"'cause then we can't be friends."
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"What about the calendar? Can we get it working in time?"
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"We're debugging as fast as we can,"
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"but the hardware failures are killing us, okay?"
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"If we'd had the money from my parents..."
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"It's cool. I've got another investor meeting in a half hour."
Betas
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