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Clips from After Life (2019) - Episode #1.3 (S01E01)

"What do you get if you cross a disabled octopus with my ex-wife?"
After Life (2019)
"A five-legged slut."
After Life (2019)
"Brian, not everyone can get in the paper."
After Life (2019)
"Not everyone's fingered Jackie Collins."
After Life (2019)
"-Have you? -No."
After Life (2019)
"When's that bothered the press before? [snickers]"
After Life (2019)
"Am I right?"
After Life (2019)
"[Tony] Brilliant. Okay, cheers."
After Life (2019)
"-[Brian] Okay. -See you again."
After Life (2019)
"[sighs]"
After Life (2019)
"I've got a good feature for you."
After Life (2019)
"-No, you haven't. -[Kath] Rude."
After Life (2019)
"-You haven't even heard it yet. -[Tony] No need."
After Life (2019)
"-Crystals. -Told you."
After Life (2019)
"Their healing power."
After Life (2019)
"[laughs] They're bullshit."
After Life (2019)
"-You're so narrow-minded. -No."
After Life (2019)
"-You don't believe in anything. -Yes, I do."
After Life (2019)
"Thought you were atheist."
After Life (2019)
"Doesn't mean I don't believe in anything. It means I don't believe in any god."
After Life (2019)
"-How can you not believe in God? -[Tony] Which one?"
After Life (2019)
"What do you mean?"
After Life (2019)
"Well... Zeus?"
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"-Who? -Greek god."
After Life (2019)
"Or Ra, or Ganesh?"
After Life (2019)
"No, not those ones, the real one in the Bible."
After Life (2019)
"Yahweh."
After Life (2019)
"Just God!"
After Life (2019)
"Well, you know how you don't believe in all those other gods I mentioned?"
After Life (2019)
"That's how I don't believe in yours."
After Life (2019)
"How can you not believe that someone created all this, though?"
After Life (2019)
"Why do you believe that someone created it all?"
After Life (2019)
"Because it's so good."
After Life (2019)
"It can't just be chance, can it?"
After Life (2019)
"What, the Big Bang?"
After Life (2019)
"Everything came from nothing? That's impossible."
After Life (2019)
"You're right. God did it."
After Life (2019)
"Right."
After Life (2019)
"So, where did God come from?"
After Life (2019)
"He's always been around."
After Life (2019)
"There you go. Easy, innit?"
After Life (2019)
"[Kath] Mm."
After Life (2019)
"[Lisa] You always found so much joy in everything, all the little things."
After Life (2019)
"Sitting on the sofa with the dog. [chuckles]"
After Life (2019)
"With that look on your face, like,"
After Life (2019)
""I'm just sat on the sofa with the dog. I'm loving it.""
After Life (2019)
"[Brandy panting]"
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"Give the dog a kiss from me,"
After Life (2019)
"and take her to the beach. She loves it there."
After Life (2019)
"-You both do. -[Tony sighs]"
After Life (2019)
"Do you wanna go to the beach?"
After Life (2019)
"Yeah?"
After Life (2019)
"Come on, then."
After Life (2019)
"Come on. Good girl."
After Life (2019)
"[birds chirping]"
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"[seagulls squawking]"
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"[shrieking]"
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"-Oh, my God! What did you do that for? -[Brandy barking and whining]"
After Life (2019)
"[Tony] You looked hot!"
After Life (2019)
"-I was asleep. I'm soaked. -[Tony chuckling]"
After Life (2019)
"-Look, you've freaked the dog out. -[Tony laughing]"
After Life (2019)
"-Oh, you're such a twat. -[Tony laughing]"
After Life (2019)
"Ahh, I might as well go in the sea now."
After Life (2019)
"[high voice] Come on! You come in the sea with me! You come in."
After Life (2019)
"-[Tony] No. -You come in. Tony, come in!"
After Life (2019)
"-[Tony] No. -Come on!"
After Life (2019)
"Come on!"
After Life (2019)
"Come in, Tony!"
After Life (2019)
"[barks]"
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"[whines]"
After Life (2019)
"[audience laughing]"
After Life (2019)
"That's why they call them sports socks!"
After Life (2019)
"[laughter]"
After Life (2019)
"Thank you. You're a wonderful crowd, you really are."
After Life (2019)
"I'm glad you're a wonderful crowd."
After Life (2019)
"I've had some bad news this week, I have to say."
After Life (2019)
"-[crowd] Ah. -Come on, sadder than that."
After Life (2019)
"[crowd, louder] Ahhh!"
After Life (2019)
"Yeah, it was."
After Life (2019)
"A friend of mine actually committed suicide last week."
After Life (2019)
"Yeah, went upstairs, swallowed everything in the bathroom cabinet."
After Life (2019)
"Choked on a tampon."
After Life (2019)
"-[audience laughs] -Oh yeah."
After Life (2019)
"[snorts]"
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"Choked on a tampon. [laughs]"
After Life (2019)
"So you've got this guy, absolutely fucking hated that joke."
After Life (2019)
"I tell ya, his face fell like my nan. Oh no!"
After Life (2019)
"Fucking cheer up, mate. Might not ever happen."
After Life (2019)
"Come on. Instead of, like, "I'm not gonna laugh at this." Come on."
After Life (2019)
"What's your name then, man?"
After Life (2019)
"What's your name?"
After Life (2019)
"-Tony. -Tony. There we go. Not so hard."
After Life (2019)
"What's your story, Tony?"
After Life (2019)
"-[Tony] What's my story? -Yeah."
After Life (2019)
"Sitting here, front row. What's your story?"
After Life (2019)
"My wife died..."
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"earlier this year."
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"Breast cancer."
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"And it broke me."
After Life (2019)
"Not a day goes by when I don't..."
After Life (2019)
"think of killing myself."
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"I just don't see any point in living."
After Life (2019)
"Well..."
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"[nervously] Umbrellas are weird, aren't they? Do you ever..."
After Life (2019)
"As if an umbrella..."
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"[Tony] He asked."
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"[Braden] Yeah."
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"[Tony] He did. He asked me a question, so I told him the truth."
After Life (2019)
"-[Braden] The truth's important to you. -Yeah."
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"Okay, well here's the truth for you, Tony. I'm tired, mate."
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"Okay, I'm tired of spending my working day worrying about you"
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"and about what you're gonna do next,"
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"and trying to come up with reasons you shouldn't kill yourself,"
After Life (2019)
"and finding tickets for things to try and cheer you up."
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"Okay? Midweek, as well, when I should be home with my wife and son,"
After Life (2019)
"dealing with my own problems."
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"Right. So he's allowed to joke about suicide, but I'm not allowed to--"
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"It wasn't about you, though, Tony. The joke wasn't about you."
After Life (2019)
"It didn't happen. He made it up."
After Life (2019)
"His friend didn't really commit suicide by choking on a tampon, obviously."
After Life (2019)
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