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Clips from Cheers - Show Down: Part 1 (S01E01)

Sam, l don't pay you a lot of compliments,

"Sam, l don't pay you a lot of compliments,"

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but l really don't feel you have any need to feel inferior to anyone.

"but l really don't feel you have any need to feel inferior to anyone."

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Thank you. That's very nice.

"Thank you. That's very nice."

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- Nice voice. Who is that? - Guess.

"- Nice voice. Who is that? - Guess."

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Way to go, Derek.

"Way to go, Derek."

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- Can we get this man a beer? - l'll get it.

"- Can we get this man a beer? - l'll get it."

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Sam, sorry, l didn't see you.

"Sam, sorry, l didn't see you."

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Derek, how about a beer?

"Derek, how about a beer?"

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No, thank you, Norm.

"No, thank you, Norm."

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What a guy. Can l catch a beer, Sammy?

"What a guy. Can l catch a beer, Sammy?"

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- Where are my waitresses? - Watching the show.

"- Where are my waitresses? - Watching the show."

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- The show? - Derek's doing trick pool shots.

"- The show? - Derek's doing trick pool shots."

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Must have had fun growing up with him.

"Must have had fun growing up with him."

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Do you have any idea what kind of gift l could get for Derek?

"Do you have any idea what kind of gift l could get for Derek?"

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- Gift? - l feel l should get him something.

"- Gift? - l feel l should get him something."

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He did get me a job.

"He did get me a job."

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He got you a job, after all those months you're been looking?

"He got you a job, after all those months you're been looking?"

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Not just a job. He got me a great job.

"Not just a job. He got me a great job."

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For the first time l'm gonna have my own parking space.

"For the first time l'm gonna have my own parking space."

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Got a secretary, a window for water bombs, all the perks.

"Got a secretary, a window for water bombs, all the perks."

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- Good for you, Norm. That's great. - So what can l get him?

"- Good for you, Norm. That's great. - So what can l get him?"

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l really don't care what you get him. Get him a tie.

"l really don't care what you get him. Get him a tie."

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Sure. l wouldn't dare buy clothes for that guy.

"Sure. l wouldn't dare buy clothes for that guy."

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He has his lint made in England.

"He has his lint made in England."

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Norm, hurry up. He's gonna do some tap-dancing for us.

"Norm, hurry up. He's gonna do some tap-dancing for us."

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You two, come on back here. We got a rich guy tap-dancing.

"You two, come on back here. We got a rich guy tap-dancing."

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Sammy.

"Sammy."

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Your brother is one good-looking guy.

"Your brother is one good-looking guy."

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Did you ever hear Derek say anything about being a sucker for

"Did you ever hear Derek say anything about being a sucker for"

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swarthy, fertile, Mediterranean types?

"swarthy, fertile, Mediterranean types?"

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- Afraid not, Carla. - Figured.

"- Afraid not, Carla. - Figured."

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Let me have a couple of Heinekens and a couple of Löwenbräus.

"Let me have a couple of Heinekens and a couple of Löwenbräus."

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How come your brother has beautiful curly blond hair and deep blue eyes?

"How come your brother has beautiful curly blond hair and deep blue eyes?"

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- Are they blue? - Like Windex.

"- Are they blue? - Like Windex."

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Boy, sounds like the stick lady's having a good time, doesn't it?

"Boy, sounds like the stick lady's having a good time, doesn't it?"

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ls that Diane's laugh? l thought they were killing chickens back there.

"ls that Diane's laugh? l thought they were killing chickens back there."

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He really got to her when he told her about that time in Paris

"He really got to her when he told her about that time in Paris"

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when he got drunk with Anais Nin.

"when he got drunk with Anais Nin."

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Really?

"Really?"

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l was hoping you'd know.

"l was hoping you'd know."

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Derek's always been like that, always had to have the spotlight,

"Derek's always been like that, always had to have the spotlight,"

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had to be the centre of attention.

"had to be the centre of attention."

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lf it's any consolation to you, l know how you feel.

"lf it's any consolation to you, l know how you feel."

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l got a sister who's got me beat in every way.

"l got a sister who's got me beat in every way."

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She's five foot two,

"She's five foot two,"

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her husband never has a drink until noon, and she's a beautician.

"her husband never has a drink until noon, and she's a beautician."

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How do you compete with that?

"How do you compete with that?"

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But after a while l said to myself, ''To hell with her. l'm me.''

"But after a while l said to myself, ''To hell with her. l'm me.''"

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What you're trying to say is l'm as good as my brother?

"What you're trying to say is l'm as good as my brother?"

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You're kidding? You're not even as good as my sister.

"You're kidding? You're not even as good as my sister."

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But l still like you best, Sam.

"But l still like you best, Sam."

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That makes two of us.

"That makes two of us."

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Wait a minute.

"Wait a minute."

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What do you think? You think Diane likes Derek?

"What do you think? You think Diane likes Derek?"

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''Does Diane like Derek?'' l don't know. l'll pass her a note in gym.

"''Does Diane like Derek?'' l don't know. l'll pass her a note in gym."

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l know what my brother's like around women, and l know Diane.

"l know what my brother's like around women, and l know Diane."

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You know something? l used to admire you.

"You know something? l used to admire you."

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But know what's happened to you since she got here?

"But know what's happened to you since she got here?"

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You've turned into a big weenie.

"You've turned into a big weenie."

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You're a dink, a wimp, a fred, a loser.

"You're a dink, a wimp, a fred, a loser."

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Thank you.

"Thank you."

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l was having a confidence problem, but that's been a real boost.

"l was having a confidence problem, but that's been a real boost."

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Just a few weeks ago, you were making time with every foxy lady in Boston,

"Just a few weeks ago, you were making time with every foxy lady in Boston,"

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on your way to legendary status.

"on your way to legendary status."

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You were heading for the Hounds Hall of Fame.

"You were heading for the Hounds Hall of Fame."

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Then Lady Fishface walked in the door.

"Then Lady Fishface walked in the door."

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- What's going on here? - l don't know. lt's driving me nuts.

"- What's going on here? - l don't know. lt's driving me nuts."

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Maybe she's playing hard-to-get,

"Maybe she's playing hard-to-get,"

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but hard-to-get for me used to mean l'd have to sit through dinner.

"but hard-to-get for me used to mean l'd have to sit through dinner."

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lf you can't get to her, no one can.

"lf you can't get to her, no one can."

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- What about Derek? - ln a minute.

"- What about Derek? - ln a minute."

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But don't worry. He's got better taste than that.

"But don't worry. He's got better taste than that."

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- What? - Your brother's teaching me Spanish.

"- What? - Your brother's teaching me Spanish."

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You're learning the Spanish language in one evening?

"You're learning the Spanish language in one evening?"

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You want me to take the bar over?

"You want me to take the bar over?"

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l get it. You'd rather be here when he's back there, right?

"l get it. You'd rather be here when he's back there, right?"

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- Something like that. - You don't have to draw me pictures.

"- Something like that. - You don't have to draw me pictures."

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Although l like it, but you don't have to.

"Although l like it, but you don't have to."

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- What's your order? - Sam, he's not that great.

"- What's your order? - Sam, he's not that great."

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He can tell an interesting story, he's met a few interesting people,

"He can tell an interesting story, he's met a few interesting people,"

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but he's just a man like any other man you'd meet in Greek mythology.

"but he's just a man like any other man you'd meet in Greek mythology."

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- What's your order? - l don't have an order.

"- What's your order? - l don't have an order."

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l thought you'd like to join the party. l'll take the bar.

"l thought you'd like to join the party. l'll take the bar."

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Go back there and enjoy yourself.

"Go back there and enjoy yourself."

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Believe it or not, l'm having a lot of fun just being out here by myself.

"Believe it or not, l'm having a lot of fun just being out here by myself."

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l swear, it does not bother me that my brother's here.

"l swear, it does not bother me that my brother's here."

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- Really? - Really.

"- Really? - Really."

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Good. l feel better telling you about something.

"Good. l feel better telling you about something."

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Derek wants a beer.

"Derek wants a beer."

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l'm buying. l'm taking care of this.

"l'm buying. l'm taking care of this."

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l'm buying.

"l'm buying."

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Sam, l love this bar of yours.

"Sam, l love this bar of yours."

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But you know the best thing about it? lts owner.

"But you know the best thing about it? lts owner."

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- Thanks, Sam. - Derek, one more game of pool.

"- Thanks, Sam. - Derek, one more game of pool."

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You were about to tell me something.

"You were about to tell me something."

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Derek just wants to fly me out to Martha's Vineyard tonight.

"Derek just wants to fly me out to Martha's Vineyard tonight."

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ln a plane or on his back?

"ln a plane or on his back?"

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He didn't say, specifically.

"He didn't say, specifically."

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Of course, he was all excited about the new Learjet he just bought.

"Of course, he was all excited about the new Learjet he just bought."

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- But it's not a date or anything. - What if it is? lt's OK with me.

"- But it's not a date or anything. - What if it is? lt's OK with me."

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- l thought maybe you'd be bothered. - Bothered?

"- l thought maybe you'd be bothered. - Bothered?"

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l have a date myself tonight. lt's a good night for it.

"l have a date myself tonight. lt's a good night for it."

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OK. lf you're sure.

"OK. lf you're sure."

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l think you and Derek will make a great match.

"l think you and Derek will make a great match."

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Really?

"Really?"

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You both think you're perfect, and one of you is right.

"You both think you're perfect, and one of you is right."

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You know what your problem is? You are afraid of your feelings.

"You know what your problem is? You are afraid of your feelings."

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l am not. l don't have any feelings about this.

"l am not. l don't have any feelings about this."

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Whatever you and my brother Derek want to do is OK with me.

"Whatever you and my brother Derek want to do is OK with me."

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l don't care.

"l don't care."

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- Fine. - Please don't go.

"- Fine. - Please don't go."

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What? What did you say?

"What? What did you say?"

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l said l have no feelings about this.

"l said l have no feelings about this."

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No, after that. You said something. lt sounded like ''Please don't go.''

"No, after that. You said something. lt sounded like ''Please don't go.''"

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Please don't go? Are you crazy?

"Please don't go? Are you crazy?"

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You gotta get over this egotism of yours.

"You gotta get over this egotism of yours."

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Go, with my blessings. Have a good time, really.

"Go, with my blessings. Have a good time, really."

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Please stay here.

"Please stay here."

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Wait a minute.

"Wait a minute."

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What was that? There at the end you said something.

"What was that? There at the end you said something."

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