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Clips from Family Guy - Cootie & The Blowhard (S20E20)

"♪ It seems today that all you see ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ But where are those good old‐fashioned values ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ On which we used to rely? ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ All the things that make us ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Laugh and cry ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪"
Family Guy
""Happy Birthday, Dog"?"
Family Guy
"Sorry, I spaced on your name at the party store."
Family Guy
"Have a good one, Brent."
Family Guy
"(doorbell rings)"
Family Guy
"Thanks for having us, Peter."
Family Guy
"I don't recall inviting Kevin, but sure."
Family Guy
"BRIAN: His name you remember!"
Family Guy
"I think it's ridiculous to have a party for a dog."
Family Guy
"Why spend money on something he can't even comprehend?"
Family Guy
"(growling)"
Family Guy
"This ball is nuts."
Family Guy
"Hey, happy birthday, Brian!"
Family Guy
"Bonnie and I got you a big stick."
Family Guy
"Wow, thank you!"
Family Guy
"I'm gonna take it into the kitchen"
Family Guy
"and I don't foresee having any issues with that."
Family Guy
"(grunts)"
Family Guy
"(grunts)"
Family Guy
"(grunting)"
Family Guy
"Okay, I can make this work."
Family Guy
"Think, Brent, think."
Family Guy
"Uh, Joe, isn't that the same stick"
Family Guy
"we gave you for your wedding?"
Family Guy
"You told me it was a magic wand."
Family Guy
"I pointed it at a bus, the bus crashed,"
Family Guy
"that's all I'm saying."
Family Guy
"Happy Birthday, Brian."
Family Guy
"I got you a card."
Family Guy
"On the front it says, "Too much sex ruins your eyesight""
Family Guy
"and on the inside it says, "Happy Birthday,""
Family Guy
"but all blurry‐‐ Oh! I gave it away!"
Family Guy
"It also says, "Love, Aunt Judy and Uncle Bob.""
Family Guy
"A joke that good doesn't celebrate just one birthday."
Family Guy
"Well, fellas, I'm off."
Family Guy
"Old Joe's got a big stakeout this week,"
Family Guy
"so I'm gonna practice by watching the party"
Family Guy
"from across the street."
Family Guy
"(door closes)"
Family Guy
"(grunts)"
Family Guy
""Those who doubt the wand's power suffer the wand's wrath.""
Family Guy
"Leviticus 26:12."
Family Guy
"(indistinct chatter)"
Family Guy
"Was anybody gonna wake me up for the party?"
Family Guy
"It's 6:30. I went down at noon."
Family Guy
"Now I'm gonna be up all night, watching bad reality TV."
Family Guy
"ANNOUNCER: We now return to Uber Driver: Ninja Warrior."
Family Guy
"(cheering)"
Family Guy
"(chime sounds)"
Family Guy
"ANNOUNCER: First, he's gotta swing on the gold chains"
Family Guy
"across the cologne bath without dropping his e‐cigarette."
Family Guy
"(cheering)"
Family Guy
"Next, he's gotta pick up"
Family Guy
"a ride share customer."
Family Guy
"‐(revving) ‐(tires squealing)"
Family Guy
"Now he's gonna be late, but he's going to make it seem like"
Family Guy
"the passenger's fault and not his."
Family Guy
"Where the hell have you been?"
Family Guy
"I been here, man."
Family Guy
"Maybe you press wrong button. I don't know."
Family Guy
"Now don't talk to me. I'm on four different phone calls."
Family Guy
"Hi, everyone, Peter Griffin."
Family Guy
"Welcome to the roast portion of the evening."
Family Guy
"Ladies and gentleman: my son, Chris."
Family Guy
"Born on the highway, because that is where"
Family Guy
"‐most accidents happen. ‐LOIS: Peter!"
Family Guy
"But we're here to talk about"
Family Guy
"Brian getting another year older."
Family Guy
"You know, I hear he can't even bury a bone these days"
Family Guy
"without Viagra."
Family Guy
"Ha, all right, all right, I can take it."
Family Guy
"And they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks,"
Family Guy
"but I heard Brian just learned how to roll over and beg..."
Family Guy
"for an erection."
Family Guy
"(chuckling) Okay. That's sort of"
Family Guy
"just another jab at my penis, but sure."
Family Guy
"On the positive side,"
Family Guy
"Brian's latest book was a real page‐turner."
Family Guy
"Yeah, I turned the pages into toilet paper."
Family Guy
"'Cause Brian's old now"
Family Guy
"and can't satisfy women through intercourse."
Family Guy
"Peter, I'm fine."
Family Guy
"Are you sure this isn't about you"
Family Guy
"not being able to perform on your anniversary?"
Family Guy
"I told you that in confidence!"
Family Guy
"Whoa, slow down, buddy."
Family Guy
"It's snack time, not Black Friday."
Family Guy
"Nobody's walking outta here"
Family Guy
"with First Wives Club on Blu‐ray, okay?"
Family Guy
"Nice as that sounds."
Family Guy
"I heard there's a special feature on the Blu‐ray"
Family Guy
"that's just Diane Keaton shrieking the commentary."
Family Guy
"Huge, if true."
Family Guy
"Actually, Stewie, there's something important"
Family Guy
"I sorta need to talk to you about."
Family Guy
"Okay."
Family Guy
"I recently found out I have cooties."
Family Guy
"And you're telling me why?"
Family Guy
"Well, I mean, uh..."
Family Guy
"remember last week?"
Family Guy
"When we ate from the same Play‐Doh?"
Family Guy
"("Bread and Butter" by The Newbeats playing)"
Family Guy
"♪ He likes bread and butter ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ He likes toast and jam ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ That's what his baby feeds him ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ He's her loving man ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ Well, I like bread and butter ♪"
Family Guy
"♪ I like toast and jam. ♪"
Family Guy
"Stewie, listen."
Family Guy
"I just think you should get tested, okay?"
Family Guy
"What? You mean I played with the Play‐Doh"
Family Guy
"everyone you ever played Play‐Doh with played with?"
Family Guy
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