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Clips from Galavant - My Cousin Izzy (S01E01)

"This whole thing's gotten completely out of control."
Galavant
"- I've got to do something. - You think?"
Galavant
"Watch this."
Galavant
"Ladies and gentlemen,"
Galavant
"as eager as I am to begin this duel..."
Galavant
"and golly, am I eager..."
Galavant
"protocol dictates the arrival of a fellow royal"
Galavant
"necessitates a pre-duel welcome feast."
Galavant
"What?"
Galavant
"All right, everybody! Let's to the feast!"
Galavant
"You're joking."
Galavant
"You're serious."
Galavant
"Where is everybody going?!"
Galavant
"Come on!"
Galavant
"You hear that? They're cheering."
Galavant
"That must mean Galavant is dead."
Galavant
"Good night, sweet prince."
Galavant
"I'm sorry for your loss."
Galavant
"We'll mourn later."
Galavant
"Galavant always taught me a hero represses his feelings,"
Galavant
"which is what I'm doing right now."
Galavant
"So, ideas?"
Galavant
"Call that guard over."
Galavant
"Which one?"
Galavant
"- Ivan the mutilator or Keith? - Keith."
Galavant
"H-hey, Keith?"
Galavant
"Can you come here a sec?"
Galavant
"Hey, Keith, check this out."
Galavant
"Ah. Aha?"
Galavant
"Mm?"
Galavant
"Mm?"
Galavant
"Hm?"
Galavant
"Ahhhh!"
Galavant
"What was that?"
Galavant
"First thing they teach you in jester school..."
Galavant
"classic misdirection."
Galavant
"Should have done this before they killed Galavant."
Galavant
"Now, if we could just get rid of the guards..."
Galavant
"Hey, guys! Pre-duel lunch! Come on!"
Galavant
"This isn't luck."
Galavant
"Galavant must be helping us from beyond the grave."
Galavant
"Follow me."
Galavant
"This ends badly."
Galavant
"Oh, good. You're here."
Galavant
"Where else would I be?"
Galavant
"I'm preparing an impromptu feast for 75 uppity royals,"
Galavant
"because... Bleep... me, right?"
Galavant
"I don't want to have a bleak life anymore."
Galavant
"Look, there are three factions of warring royals here"
Galavant
"for a feast that you're cooking, that I'm serving."
Galavant
"This ends with us dead..."
Galavant
"maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow,"
Galavant
"but it always ends the same way."
Galavant
"Do you know, I'm beginning to think you're right."
Galavant
"Why can't we change the ending?"
Galavant
"♪ When rich folks war, who dies? ♪"
Galavant
"The poor."
Galavant
"♪ On that, you can depend ♪"
Galavant
"♪ So, obviously, for you and me ♪"
Galavant
"♪ There's only one way this can end ♪"
Galavant
"Let's see."
Galavant
"Appetizers..."
Galavant
"salads..."
Galavant
"Aha!"
Galavant
"♪ Let's spike the soup with some arsenic ♪"
Galavant
"What?"
Galavant
"♪ Just a few droplets, like thus ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Serve, and each blue blood will die as they spew blood ♪"
Galavant
"♪ A happy ending for us ♪"
Galavant
"Gosh."
Galavant
"♪ How 'bout a pie full of cyanide? ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Can you imagine the fuss? ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Oh, cramps, diarrhea, convulsions ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Then "see ya" ♪"
Galavant
"♪ A happy ending for us ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Picture that great big pool of puke and stool ♪"
Galavant
"♪ A happy ending for us ♪"
Galavant
"I could fry up some heirloom toadstools"
Galavant
"with a little hemlock vinaigrette."
Galavant
"- Ooh! - What?"
Galavant
"♪ If they survive to the entrée ♪"
Galavant
"Go on."
Galavant
"♪ Strychnine can be your best friend ♪"
Galavant
"Nice."
Galavant
"♪ Poison the meat first ♪"
Galavant
"♪ They'll leave the hall feet first ♪"
Galavant
"♪ A perfect fairy-tale end ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Tra-la-la-la-la ♪"
Galavant
"♪ How 'bout a tray of bad shellfish? ♪"
Galavant
"Yes!"
Galavant
"♪ Ooh! Chicken's delicious served rare ♪"
Galavant
"A tartare."
Galavant
"♪ Choose any toxin, then toss the whole box in ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Voila, they're gasping for air ♪"
Galavant
"♪ Oh, how they'll heave and spurt ♪"
Galavant
"♪ and for dessert, do things too gross to discuss ♪"
Galavant
"♪ And they will claw and choke till all of them croak ♪"
Galavant
"♪ A lovely ending ♪"
Galavant
"♪ A storybook ending ♪"
Galavant
"♪ A happy ending for u-u-u-u-u-u-u-us ♪"
Galavant
"What do you say?"
Galavant
"I'd better get cookin'."
Galavant
"Hello, Galavant."
Galavant
"Last meal."
Galavant
"Anything else you'd like to do for the last time?"
Galavant
"No."
Galavant
"Oh."
Galavant
"You're doing your strong-and-silent-hero thing."
Galavant
"What?"
Galavant
"That thing your dumb dad drilled into your head."
Galavant
""Son, a hero doesn't talk."
Galavant
""He might not hear it when his moment arrives."
Galavant
"Blah, blah, blah, have another drink.""
Galavant
"Oh, my God."
Galavant
"That is exactly what I'm doing."
Galavant
"You know, sometimes, I see this glimmer in you."
Galavant
"- You know, you're... - if you eat that last danish,"
Galavant
"I will reach down your throat, pull it out, and beat you to death with it!"
Galavant
"Never mind."
Galavant
"Up here, we want to go left."
Galavant
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