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Clips from The Great North - You've Got Math Adventure (S02E02)

"How about this: I'll wait to tell your dad if you let me try."
The Great North
"Fine. Now can we please get back to watching"
The Great North
"America's Funniest Shark Attacks?"
The Great North
"The attacks aren't necessarily laugh-out-loud hilarious,"
The Great North
"but the sound effects help a lot."
The Great North
"All right, let's carefully get in the car"
The Great North
"on the moose-free side. He'll be scared off"
The Great North
"once I start the engine."
The Great North
"I am normally very against interrupting a make-out sesh,"
The Great North
"but in this case I'll allow it."
The Great North
"Huh. Maybe once we start moving, he'll take the hint."
The Great North
"Oh, no! We created a Romeo and Juliet kind of thing."
The Great North
"He only wants the van more now that he knows it's forbidden."
The Great North
"I'll drive slow, so as to not to hurt him,"
The Great North
"but hopefully he loses interest."
The Great North
"Aw. Is it just me,"
The Great North
"or is this very, very, very romantic?"
The Great North
"Okay, quickly, everyone, go, go, go, go."
The Great North
"What's with the moose on your caboose?"
The Great North
"He walked alongside our car all the way home."
The Great North
"'Cause he's in love with our van."
The Great North
"They make a pretty cute couple. And just imagine"
The Great North
"those eventual babies. Aw, vroom, vroom."
The Great North
"He's just enjoying the road salt."
The Great North
"I'm sure he'll be gone by morning."
The Great North
"- Do we call animal control? - I wish."
The Great North
"The animal control number"
The Great North
"goes straight to a pre-recorded message that says,"
The Great North
""You can handle this.""
The Great North
"Good morning,"
The Great North
"my Honey-queen."
The Great North
"What's with the school setup?"
The Great North
"Oh, is this a sex thing?"
The Great North
"Are-are you my teacher?"
The Great North
"I need help, you know, studying"
The Great North
"for my, uh, uh, sex exam?"
The Great North
"No. Stop. It's not a sex thing. It's for your little brother."
The Great North
"I'm tutoring him. He's failing math, but they're letting him"
The Great North
"take a make-up test, and I think I could actually help."
The Great North
"I love that you're helping my littlest bro."
The Great North
"He's my littlest bro now, too. Oh, but please"
The Great North
"don't tell the rest of your family he's having trouble."
The Great North
"Secret's safe with me, and let me know if you guys want"
The Great North
"my help. I'm a real - Math-thew Mc- - Counting-hey myself."
The Great North
"- You are? - Oh, yeah. Listen to this one."
The Great North
"- One, two. - Go on."
The Great North
"- Three, four. - Hell yeah, babe."
The Great North
"The moose is still here? Okay, so we know one thing:"
The Great North
"he's a gentleman."
The Great North
"- Hmm. Yep, this is a problem. - - Moon."
The Great North
"Welcome to class. I'm Ms. Lefontaine."
The Great North
"It's just me, Honeybee, but I've always wanted my name"
The Great North
"to be Annabelle Lefontaine. It's gorgeous."
The Great North
"Well, Ms. Lefontaine, I'm sorry, but there is no point"
The Great North
"in you tutoring me. There's a specific reason"
The Great North
"why I'm very bad at math. It's genetic."
The Great North
"And it can't be fixed."
The Great North
"But your family is good at math."
The Great North
"Right. But I'm not like them,"
The Great North
"and I don't want them to find out why. The truth is,"
The Great North
"the man I call Dad-- Beef Tobin--"
The Great North
"isn't my real father."
The Great North
"Okay, back up. Why do you think Beef isn't your dad?"
The Great North
"I always thought I was so similar"
The Great North
"to the rest of my family, but once this math thing"
The Great North
"came up last week, I started to pick up on"
The Great North
"all the other things that are different about me."
The Great North
"My hair is dark, I'm short, I also roll out my toothpaste"
The Great North
"from the bottom to the top, they all just"
The Great North
"squeeze it out willy-nilly, like total monsters."
The Great North
"Ugh, they really do. But, Moon,"
The Great North
"I don't think that proves anything."
The Great North
"Look, it's as clear as day. Dad's not my dad."
The Great North
"I've narrowed it down to three men I think it could be,"
The Great North
"and I'm putting together a plan to investigate them."
The Great North
"Moon, I'm very sure you're a true Tobin."
The Great North
"But I have always wanted to do a Mamma Mia!"
The Great North
"How 'bout this: I help you check out"
The Great North
"these potential papas, and you let me tutor you"
The Great North
"- for your make-up test while we're doing it. - Deal."
The Great North
"Also, I don't think you should tell your dad about this."
The Great North
"Of course not. The truth would crush him."
The Great North
"I'm his favorite."
The Great North
"I'm not sure how we do it,"
The Great North
"but we've got to get rid of that moose."
The Great North
"For his safety and ours."
The Great North
"Okay, hear me out. How about I get a moose costume"
The Great North
"and also a moose-sized French maid outfit?"
The Great North
"I put them both on, and I'll be a sexy lady moose."
The Great North
"He'll be so distracted by my sultry strut,"
The Great North
"the moose will leave the van alone to come flirt with me."
The Great North
"Or what if we show him another car to distract him instead?"
The Great North
"That's worth a try, Judy."
The Great North
"Oh, and put the car in the French maid outfit."
The Great North
"I love it."
The Great North
"Okay. So you think this random truck driver is your real dad?"
The Great North
"- I don't see it. - I've seen him"
The Great North
"driving around town, and there's something"
The Great North
"un-bear-ably similar about both of us."
The Great North
"You mean how his flappy hat kind of looks"
The Great North
"- like your bear suit? - Bingo."
The Great North
"Moon, look. He has Florida plates."
The Great North
"I have Florida heritage?"
The Great North
"That explains why I love sunshine. Uh-oh, he's leaving."
The Great North
"Sir! Hi there. I see you're from Florida."
The Great North
"Yeah, I've been doing this - Florida- - Alaska drive"
The Great North
"twice a week for just under seven years, ma'am."
The Great North
"- Twice a week? - Yep. I've only been in 63 accidents."
The Great North
"I tend to fall asleep at the wheel"
The Great North
"'cause I keep the heat in here on max."
The Great North
"You are very sweaty, my friend."
The Great North
"Well, I'm also chock-full of amphetamines."
The Great North
"I don't even know if you two are real."
The Great North
"Anyway, I got a thousand miles to drive tonight."
The Great North
"See ya, possible ghosts."
The Great North
"See? He's only driven here for seven years."
The Great North
"You were born in Alaska ten years ago."
The Great North
"There's no way he's secretly your dad."
The Great North
"- I know. - Also, he said he has to drive"
The Great North
"a thousand miles today. Let's say he only has"
The Great North
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