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Clips from Avenue 5 - Was It Your Ears? (S01E01)

"That guy is a complete moron. The more he talks,"
Avenue 5
"-the more in danger we all are. -Unless we 'M' him."
Avenue 5
"Okay, Karen, you gotta stop saying that."
Avenue 5
"-That is clearly not an option-- -(KAREN CLEARS THROAT)"
Avenue 5
"Life coached by Matt?"
Avenue 5
"That's like being taught to drive by a hen."
Avenue 5
"We're running out of oxygen and he's "pupating.""
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"He could kill us all."
Avenue 5
"KAREN: Well, you know, Iris, we could... sedate him."
Avenue 5
"Yeah, no, that could work. That could actually work."
Avenue 5
"Well, we could double the dose?"
Avenue 5
"He might have a stroke,"
Avenue 5
"then you'll only be physically wiping his ass."
Avenue 5
"Right. Where are we gonna get sedatives and a dart gun?"
Avenue 5
"Well, Matt monitors the supply,"
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"and I bet he has full access to whatev' they got down there."
Avenue 5
"Sir, it's Rav for you."
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"We round Jupiter in three minutes and lose comms."
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"My cabin is closest, so stride with me."
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"Excuse me! Karen Kelly! Make a hole, or I will!"
Avenue 5
"(LOUD BEEP)"
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"-RYAN: Gah... -(IRIS LAUGHS)"
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"-(CLEARS THROAT) -Now, honey,"
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"I have an update for you,"
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"and I don't want you to go all flappy on me."
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"FRANK KELLY: Okay..."
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"The ship is leaking oxygen."
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"From what I understand,"
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"it will be like drowning with dirt in your mouth"
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"and a tractor on your chest."
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"Okay."
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"-That's fine. -(DRINK POURING)"
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"(QUIETLY) Fuck."
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"(SOBBING)"
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"Sorry. I'm sorry. It's only oxygen."
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"KAREN: All right."
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"So don't talk,"
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"because then you will last marginally longer."
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"Attaboy."
Avenue 5
"Okay, guys, I think we're on. Yeah."
Avenue 5
"And we don't have long with her, and it could get a little bit glitchy."
Avenue 5
"RAV: (THROUGH SPEAKER) Hello-- speaking-- Hello?"
Avenue 5
"(AUDIO GLITCHING) Great. Hi! I-- start speaking."
Avenue 5
"I'm gonna start speaking before-- get cut off."
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"I have some good news and some not so good news."
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"The good news is... we have funding!"
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"Yay! Come on! (LAUGHS)"
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"Wh-- What was that? What did she--"
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"-She said they had funding. -BILLIE: Shush! Yes, yes, shush! -The not so good news is"
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"the Other President suggested we explore losing..."
Avenue 5
"(LAUGHS) ...500 NEPs, but I rejected that,"
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"I said, "No, we are not killing 500 people, not today!""
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"(GLITCHING) Other President sug-- we explore"
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"losing 500 NEPs-- (SILENCE)"
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"BILLIE: Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. No, no, no! No!"
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"-No, now Earth is the other side of Jupiter. -(RYAN SIGHS)"
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"-What's NEPs? -Non-essential personnel, like--"
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"-Mm-- Mm-mm. -RYAN: Okay. That is not on the table."
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"We are not getting rid of 500 non-essential personnel."
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"My hands always get clammy"
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"whenever I shower in a strange room."
Avenue 5
"-(LOUD BEEP) -Fuck you, Doug!"
Avenue 5
"-RYAN: How are you here? -Yeah, what the actual frig?"
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"Are you wearing Frank's clothes?"
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"-Two sugars? -Yeah."
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"DOUG: I have just been ordered homeless by Herman Judd,"
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"so I no longer have access to a bathroom."
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"Oh, great. You see this, Frank?"
Avenue 5
"He's using you as a toilet friend."
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"DOUG: Are you guys seriously considering"
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"getting rid of 500 passengers?"
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"No, and you are not gonna say it out there. All right?"
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"And you're particularly not gonna say it"
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"-in front of Herman Judd. -(LOUD BEEP) -(IRIS LAUGHS)"
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"-RYAN: Oh, you-- monotonal fuck! -Fuck you, Doug!"
Avenue 5
"-(LOUD BEEP) -Good morning, everyone!"
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"We finally have a baby name."
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"Kayden!"
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"-Kayden? -That's an asshole name!"
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"Okay, it's just a word."
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"IRIS: And you're an asshole, asshole."
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"-Oh, you. -Doug."
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"You look different. Fatter, maybe?"
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"No, it's probably just my spirit swelling"
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"-now that I'm not with you. -(CHUCKLES)"
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"-Hey, you're hiding something. -I don't know what you're talking about."
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"I know that, Doug, that's your factory setting."
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"Actually, I-- I have been made privy to something."
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"Okay, so you know about"
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"-the oxygen. -The passengers."
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"-Oxygen? -The shortage."
Avenue 5
"-There's a shortage of air? -Yes!"
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"-Holy fuck! Are you kid-- -Okay, okay--"
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"-Oh, my God, are you serious? -Stop panicking."
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"This is when one panics! We are running out of air"
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"and they're shooting 500 passengers out of the airlock."
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"-What? -Yes!"
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"The airlock? Oh, my God! Oh, my fucking God!"
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"-That's horrible. -This is panicking!"
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"-Why can you panic and I can't-- -I'm not panicking!"
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"-Yeah, neither was I! -Then stop and lower your voice!"
Avenue 5
"Fine."
Avenue 5
"Also, the captain is speaking in that British voice--"
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"-Yeah, I heard that. -All right, listen, fucker,"
Avenue 5
"if they start suggesting names of passengers,"
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"let's not suggest each other, all right?"
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"-That's actually a really good-- -Okay, fine."
Avenue 5
"-Good plan. -All right."
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"(SCOFFS) Put your hard-on away."
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"This is purely self-preservation."
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"Yeah, I think the same thing."
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"-Great. -All right, see you l--"
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"-See you around. -Okay. See you never."
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"-Come on. -(LOUD BEEP)"
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"-Fuck you! -No, fuck you, Doug!"
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"Do you wanna--"
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"Okay, Matt, uh... (SIGHS)"
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"(LOUD BEEP)"
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"Uh, I-- I, um..."
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"-I need you to hook me up. -MATT: What do you need?"
Avenue 5
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