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Clips from Girls5eva - Separ8 Ways (S01E01)

You can't even fart twice in a row.

"You can't even fart twice in a row."

Girls5eva

- Obviously, Jingle Ball isn't happening this year,

"- Obviously, Jingle Ball isn't happening this year,"

Girls5eva

but I got us a major gig,

"but I got us a major gig,"

Girls5eva

the national anthem at the WNHL quarter finals.

"the national anthem at the WNHL quarter finals."

Girls5eva

- Yes. - So, all we need is someone

"- Yes. - So, all we need is someone"

Girls5eva

to round out our harmonies,

"to round out our harmonies,"

Girls5eva

bring power vocals and a transcendent star quality.

"bring power vocals and a transcendent star quality."

Girls5eva

- And above all, loyal. - Yes.

"- And above all, loyal. - Yes."

Girls5eva

- * Pedophiles, pedophiles *

"- * Pedophiles, pedophiles *"

Girls5eva

* The cast of "Friends" is pedophiles *

"* The cast of "Friends" is pedophiles *"

Girls5eva

* Checks in the-- * - You know, I actually

"* Checks in the-- * - You know, I actually"

Girls5eva

heard that. - Next!

"heard that. - Next!"

Girls5eva

- Uh, FYI, my voice drifts,

"- Uh, FYI, my voice drifts,"

Girls5eva

so I can't solo,

"so I can't solo,"

Girls5eva

but I can end songs with sultry femininasty phrases.

"but I can end songs with sultry femininasty phrases."

Girls5eva

Mm, I'ma drink you like medicine, boy.

"Mm, I'ma drink you like medicine, boy."

Girls5eva

- Ab--absolutely not. [chuckles nervously]

"- Ab--absolutely not. [chuckles nervously]"

Girls5eva

It's not that I'm threatened,

"It's not that I'm threatened,"

Girls5eva

it's that I just--

"it's that I just--"

Girls5eva

I hate you.

"I hate you."

Girls5eva

- * I just wanna see the palm trees *

"- * I just wanna see the palm trees *"

Girls5eva

* I will try and shake away this disease *

"* I will try and shake away this disease *"

Girls5eva

- I think this is Everclear.

"- I think this is Everclear."

Girls5eva

- * Watch the world die *

"- * Watch the world die *"

Girls5eva

- Next! - Ugh, you guys,

"- Next! - Ugh, you guys,"

Girls5eva

maybe this is just too hard.

"maybe this is just too hard."

Girls5eva

We could use a triple threat. Voice, face--

"We could use a triple threat. Voice, face--"

Girls5eva

both: Smells. - No!

"both: Smells. - No!"

Girls5eva

Hey, none of that talk!

"Hey, none of that talk!"

Girls5eva

We have to just trust-- [deep breath]

"We have to just trust-- [deep breath]"

Girls5eva

That if we keep trying, something amazing will happen.

"That if we keep trying, something amazing will happen."

Girls5eva

- Hi, I'm Baby.

"- Hi, I'm Baby."

Girls5eva

And just to give you all a taste of my vocals,

"And just to give you all a taste of my vocals,"

Girls5eva

this is one of your old ones,

"this is one of your old ones,"

Girls5eva

though, I do disagree with the content.

"though, I do disagree with the content."

Girls5eva

- Fair.

"- Fair."

Girls5eva

- [soulfully] * Dream *

"- [soulfully] * Dream *"

Girls5eva

- [whispers] Oh, my God, yes, yes.

"- [whispers] Oh, my God, yes, yes."

Girls5eva

- * Girlfriends *

"- * Girlfriends *"

Girls5eva

* 'Cause our dads are dead *

"* 'Cause our dads are dead *"

Girls5eva

* They gave us some advice *

"* They gave us some advice *"

Girls5eva

* But we forgot what they said *

"* But we forgot what they said *"

Girls5eva

- Whoa! - Oh, my gosh!

"- Whoa! - Oh, my gosh!"

Girls5eva

- Wow.

"- Wow."

Girls5eva

- Baby, how would you like to-- [cell phone chimes]

"- Baby, how would you like to-- [cell phone chimes]"

Girls5eva

- Oh, snap.

"- Oh, snap."

Girls5eva

I just got into nursing school. Bye.

"I just got into nursing school. Bye."

Girls5eva

- Oh, wait. - No, no.

"- Oh, wait. - No, no."

Girls5eva

- No bye. - No, no, no, no.

"- No bye. - No, no, no, no."

Girls5eva

- Baby! - No, no.

"- Baby! - No, no."

Girls5eva

- Come back, Baby! - Baby, come back.

"- Come back, Baby! - Baby, come back."

Girls5eva

[upbeat music]

"[upbeat music]"

Girls5eva

all singing: * Gonna be famous 5eva *

"all singing: * Gonna be famous 5eva *"

Girls5eva

* 'Cause forever's too short *

"* 'Cause forever's too short *"

Girls5eva

* It's too short *

"* It's too short *"

Girls5eva

* Gonna be famous three ever *

"* Gonna be famous three ever *"

Girls5eva

* 'Cause that's one more than together *

"* 'Cause that's one more than together *"

Girls5eva

* Gonna be famous 5eva *

"* Gonna be famous 5eva *"

Girls5eva

* 'Cause forever's too short *

"* 'Cause forever's too short *"

Girls5eva

* So what are you waiting five? *

"* So what are you waiting five? *"

Girls5eva

* "Girls5eva" *

"* "Girls5eva" *"

Girls5eva

[dramatic tone]

"[dramatic tone]"

Girls5eva

- * Oh, Danny Boy, the pipes *

"- * Oh, Danny Boy, the pipes *"

Girls5eva

* The pipes are calling *

"* The pipes are calling *"

Girls5eva

* From glen to glen *

"* From glen to glen *"

Girls5eva

* And down the mountainside *

"* And down the mountainside *"

Girls5eva

[grunts]

"[grunts]"

Girls5eva

[straining]

"[straining]"

Girls5eva

* Falling *

"* Falling *"

Girls5eva

Ugh!

"Ugh!"

Girls5eva

- I loved your vocals, and your backstory was moving.

"- I loved your vocals, and your backstory was moving."

Girls5eva

But you left your neck unprotected,

"But you left your neck unprotected,"

Girls5eva

so it's a no for me.

"so it's a no for me."

Girls5eva

It's an honor to be part of history.

"It's an honor to be part of history."

Girls5eva

AWS is the first show created entirely

"AWS is the first show created entirely"

Girls5eva

by a ratings algorithm.

"by a ratings algorithm."

Girls5eva

And I love the other judges.

"And I love the other judges."

Girls5eva

We go for it.

"We go for it."

Girls5eva

- You were singing up here,

"- You were singing up here,"

Girls5eva

but I need you to fight down here.

"but I need you to fight down here."

Girls5eva

- [laughs]

"- [laughs]"

Girls5eva

Totally, yeah, girl.

"Totally, yeah, girl."

Girls5eva

That was vibes.

"That was vibes."

Girls5eva

- Finding the American Warrior Singer is not gonna be easy

"- Finding the American Warrior Singer is not gonna be easy"

Girls5eva

because those skillsets rarely overlap.

"because those skillsets rarely overlap."

Girls5eva

But that's the journey.

"But that's the journey."

Girls5eva

* *

"* *"

Girls5eva

- Hey.

"- Hey."

Girls5eva

So, um, do you know how much we're getting paid

"So, um, do you know how much we're getting paid"

Girls5eva

for this hockey show if we end up doing it?

"for this hockey show if we end up doing it?"

Girls5eva

- Well, the first offer was cab fare.

"- Well, the first offer was cab fare."

Girls5eva

But I really think that if we agree

"But I really think that if we agree"

Girls5eva

and back each other up, we can convince them

"and back each other up, we can convince them"

Girls5eva

that we live in Tarrytown. - Oh, that's smart.

"that we live in Tarrytown. - Oh, that's smart."

Girls5eva

It's just, you know,

"It's just, you know,"

Girls5eva

Kev isn't taking things great.

"Kev isn't taking things great."

Girls5eva

You know, he doesn't believe in divorce,

"You know, he doesn't believe in divorce,"

Girls5eva

same as dinosaur bones.

"same as dinosaur bones."

Girls5eva

And he's frozen all of our credit cards.

"And he's frozen all of our credit cards."

Girls5eva

- I want you to breathe. It's gonna be okay.

"- I want you to breathe. It's gonna be okay."

Girls5eva

- No, it's not!

"- No, it's not!"

Girls5eva

My ring finger acrylic snapped off.

"My ring finger acrylic snapped off."

Girls5eva

And I can't afford to get it fixed

"And I can't afford to get it fixed"

Girls5eva

because the salon won't accept sconces!

"because the salon won't accept sconces!"

Girls5eva

- Honey.

"- Honey."

Girls5eva

Okay, look.

"Okay, look."

Girls5eva

Divorce is expensive as hell.

"Divorce is expensive as hell."

Girls5eva

And you need some money coming in that's just yours.

"And you need some money coming in that's just yours."

Girls5eva

And until we really take off, I think you need a job.

"And until we really take off, I think you need a job."

Girls5eva

- But what? - Well, what jobs have you had?

"- But what? - Well, what jobs have you had?"

Girls5eva

- Daughter, pop star, stay-at-home pop star.

"- Daughter, pop star, stay-at-home pop star."

Girls5eva

- Hm. Okay.

"- Hm. Okay."

Girls5eva

Well, you know what? You are a talented person.

"Well, you know what? You are a talented person."

Girls5eva

- Thank you. - And I think

"- Thank you. - And I think"

Girls5eva

we should just focus on your strengths

"we should just focus on your strengths"

Girls5eva

and your interests.

"and your interests."

Girls5eva

- Smiling, being in shape. - Mm-hmm?

"- Smiling, being in shape. - Mm-hmm?"

Girls5eva

- I'm good at makeup, mirrors. - Right.

"- I'm good at makeup, mirrors. - Right."

Girls5eva

- Uh, walking in heels?

"- Uh, walking in heels?"

Girls5eva

Kicking, twirling.

"Kicking, twirling."

Girls5eva

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