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Clips from Scrubs - My Own Personal Jesus (S01E01)

"And this?"
Scrubs
"And this?"
Scrubs
"Consider yourself cut off. Full love embargo, baby."
Scrubs
"- That's not gonna last. - It will last."
Scrubs
"- Yeah? - It's gonna last."
Scrubs
"Damn!"
Scrubs
"- How pathetic is that? - Do it again."
Scrubs
"Please."
Scrubs
"This is from last night. The Christmas tree over at Miller Park."
Scrubs
"God, I love that tree. It's so beautiful, isn't it?"
Scrubs
"- I've been there almost... - Listen, Meredith."
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"You're pregnant. Pretty far along, actually."
Scrubs
"What? That's not possible."
Scrubs
"What am I supposed to do?"
Scrubs
"Babies aren't really my thing,"
Scrubs
"so I'm just gonna go get you someone else to talk to."
Scrubs
"It's great to see you guys again. Really, all three of you."
Scrubs
"Selfish is what it is."
Scrubs
"My God, his ex-wife. The tension actually hurts."
Scrubs
"You have to break it. Say something. Anything!"
Scrubs
"Banana hammock!"
Scrubs
"''I. Don't. Want. To. Be. A. Doctor.''"
Scrubs
"I'm assuming, since you already took everything else,"
Scrubs
"but there's bad news on that one, sweetcheeks."
Scrubs
"I already gave it to your mom when she begged me to marry you."
Scrubs
"Who's better? You got me by the short hairs."
Scrubs
"What do you hate most about the holidays?"
Scrubs
"Turk's always been good at rallying people."
Scrubs
"Amen!"
Scrubs
"'Tis the season of givin', y'all."
Scrubs
"What better place to give than right here at Sacred Heart?"
Scrubs
"And we gonna cut 'em open."
Scrubs
"Then we gonna stitch 'em right back together."
Scrubs
"...is all about."
Scrubs
"What's the name of the song we're singing today?"
Scrubs
"Right, listen. I'm on call tonight."
Scrubs
"But tomorrow morning, when I get home, we're going to Mass before work, OK?"
Scrubs
"I don't wanna go to Mass in the stupid..."
Scrubs
"I was trying to..."
Scrubs
"Not ever. I'm the Holly Jolly Janitor."
Scrubs
"I know you must be busy. It's really nice of you to offer to do this."
Scrubs
"Congratulations! You're expecting."
Scrubs
"who'll be staring intently at your vagina,"
Scrubs
"which, by the way, has an 80% chance of tearing."
Scrubs
"Yet another soldier in the fight against Communism!"
Scrubs
"- Where's the girl that was in here? - I just make beds."
Scrubs
"I got Meredith Fox's blood work. She's got HELLP syndrome."
Scrubs
"Get me any contact numbers."
Scrubs
"- Why did she leave? - Again. Bed-maker."
Scrubs
"so there's no way they can be recorded over."
Scrubs
"Banana hammock."
Scrubs
"So, in other words, there is no permanent historical record"
Scrubs
"would serve as proof that it was, you know..."
Scrubs
"...born."
Scrubs
"You don't understand what you've done."
Scrubs
"If he was really mad at me, he would have stayed and yelled at me."
Scrubs
"but Christmas Eve, it's one of the worst nights of the year to be on call."
Scrubs
"I can't believe I'm wearing a suit at 6.30 in the morning."
Scrubs
"If you ruin this for Turk, I'll hurt you."
Scrubs
"Noted."
Scrubs
"- I'm not going. - Great. Can I go back to bed?"
Scrubs
"I'm kidding. I wanna get some of them church crackers."
Scrubs
"No, I'm not going. Ever."
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"Baby, what happened?"
Scrubs
"Turk? Turk, come on..."
Scrubs
"You're overreacting."
Scrubs
"How could I be too hard on myself?"
Scrubs
"Just don't say ''Banana hammock''."
Scrubs
"I never really thought of faith as important."
Scrubs
"I could use a little faith. I have to tell them I didn't tape a thing."
Scrubs
"You made some interesting choices with the camera, Orson."
Scrubs
"Here it comes, I see the head!"
Scrubs
"- What a gorgeous head of hair. - That's funny."
Scrubs
"He was bald when he was in here a few minutes ago."
Scrubs
"- Yeah, well... - We shaved the baby."
Scrubs
"- You shaved the baby? - Shaved it."
Scrubs
"Standard procedure. What with the recent outbreak of pre-natal lice."
Scrubs
"Yep. Definitely."
Scrubs
"Two bits."
Scrubs
"I'm not buying it."
Scrubs
"You two are gonna go by the nursery and see baby Charlie?"
Scrubs
"Dr Reid, isn't this your day off?"
Scrubs
"- It's that pregnant girl... - The one who went missing."
Scrubs
"And now you're here, voluntarily,"
Scrubs
"hell bent on finding one of your little lost ducklings."
Scrubs
"I don't have a yearning to make them my life's work."
Scrubs
"I'm a doctor interested in my patients, male or female."
Scrubs
"I wanted to show you that no matter how ugly things can get down there,"
Scrubs
"there's still a lot of beauty up here."
Scrubs
"Come on, look around."
Scrubs
"There's nobody here, no one can see us."
Scrubs
"We could do whatever we wanted."
Scrubs
"How are you not getting this?"
Scrubs
"The pebbles will make my ass look like a chocolate chocolate chip."
Scrubs
"I can make you see God again, or at least call out his name."
Scrubs
"No, I'm just trying to help you feel better."
Scrubs
"All my life, I've believed that God listens to our prayers,"
Scrubs
"and that he cares for us and that he watches over us."
Scrubs
"How am I supposed to believe in someone that's gonna let innocent people suffer?"
Scrubs
"Answer me, please."
Scrubs
"Did you see baby Charlie yet?"
Scrubs
"Oh, yeah, I was just planning on doing that. Never."
Scrubs
"- What's your problem, anyway? - For starters, I hate Christmas."
Scrubs
"I don't like bambersnoodles, I loathe dinkerwallows,"
Scrubs
"I hate snagtumgopers,"
Scrubs
"I say, do you follow?"
Scrubs
"Do you think I'm a moron?"
Scrubs
"You do realise that would be lice in the womb?"
Scrubs
"And then something amazing happened. They connected."
Scrubs
"was suddenly focused on me."
Scrubs
"Excuse me, Sally Sensitive, I don't remember asking you anything."
Scrubs
"Your mom's aware she'll have to stop breast-feeding?"
Scrubs
"I'm not gonna see that baby either. Are you gonna tattle on me? Are you?"
Scrubs
"- I'm frightened. - Do you have a second?"
Scrubs
"One of the worst things about this place"
Scrubs
"Especially the way they bring people together."
Scrubs
"Yeah. He wouldn't be smiling so much if he knew how ugly his parents were."
Scrubs
"- You're a sexy bitch. - Thanks."
Scrubs
"I really think it's impossible to be unaffected."
Scrubs
"What up, little dawg?"
Scrubs
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