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Clips from The Simpsons - Lisa's Date with Density (S08E08)

"Oh, you think this stolen "H" is a laugh riot, don't you?"
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"Well, I'll tell you something that's not so funny."
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"Right now Superintendent Chalmers..."
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"is at home crying like a little girl."
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"- [Laughing] - [Laughing]"
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"[Chuckles] I guess it is a little funny."
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"We'll start with- oh, I don't know- Bart Simpson!"
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"- [Grunts] - Um, I don't think you want to look in there, sir."
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"Balderdash. I'll just stick my head right in and- [Shouts]"
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"Well, that would be the complete dozen."
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"And so we reach the bottom of the barrel-"
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"squarely in your locker."
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"Ha-ha!"
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"I don't know, but he's got lethal tuna breath."
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"Not me!"
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"All right, Mr. Smartenheimer, that does it."
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"First you're going to give back everything you've stolen."
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"most degrading work known to man-janitorial work."
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"[In Scottish Accent] Ahh, gee. I'm standing right here, sir."
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"Take a good look at him, Nelson, 'cause that's where you're headed."
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"After you claim your stolen merchandise..."
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"go directly to Mr. Muntz for an apology."
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"Bite me."
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"Cram it. You're dead."
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"- Get bent, ma'am. - Why do you have to be such a pain all the time?"
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"Don't you realize you're getting a bad reputation?"
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"Don't you realize your butt sticks out?"
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"It does not!"
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"- Hey! - Ha-ha!"
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"An automatic dialer? Is that legal?"
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"- I don't want you getting arrested, Homer. - I won't."
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"Or swindling our neighbors."
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"This baby has every phone number in town programmed into it."
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"It automatically calls them one by one and plays my message."
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"- Listen. - [Dialing]"
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"- [Rings] - Ahoy-hoy."
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"[Homer's Voice] Greetings, friend."
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"Do you wish to look as happy as me?"
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"742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield."
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"Don't delay. Eternal happiness is just a dollar away."
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"Hmm. One dollar for eternal happiness."
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"Mmm, I'd be happier with the dollar."
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"[Chuckles] Now we just sit by the mailbox..."
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"just to make a few measly dollars."
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"we will reprise "Pop Goes the Weasel.""
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"[In Scottish Accent] And that's how Willie waters."
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"Now, you take the hoose-"
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"- The moose? - The hoose! The hoose!"
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"- Is this right? - [Screams] Turn off the noozle!"
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"- [Laughs] - Miss Simpson..."
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"do you find something funny about the word "tromboner"?"
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"[Stifles Laugh] No, sir. I was laughing at something outside."
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"Lisa likes Nelson!"
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"- She does not! - Milhouse likes Lisa!"
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"- He does not! - Janie likes Milhouse!"
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"- She does not! - Uter likes Milhouse!"
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"Nobody likes Milhouse! Lisa, you've got detention."
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"Hey, you're doing that the stupid way."
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"If you use that deal with the five chalks, you'll get done faster."
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"Whatever. Smell you later."
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"Wow. That was a good idea."
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"Sure is ugly though."
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"- [Grunting] - Oh, no!"
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"I think I'm getting a crush on Nelson Muntz!"
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"Hey, Willie, catch the football!"
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"Milhouse, I've never told anyone this kind of thing before."
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"But I've never felt this way before."
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"- I think I have a crush. - [Gasps]"
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"Uh- Oh, really?"
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"On Nelson Muntz."
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"Way to drink, Poindexter!"
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"[Coughing] You like Nelson?"
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"But he's a creep, and he chipped one of my permanent teeth!"
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"But I bet underneath he's a sweet, sensitive person- like you."
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"But I'm all Milhouse!"
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"Plus my mom says I'm the handsomest guy in school!"
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"- You're more like a big sister. - No, I'm not!"
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"Why does everybody keep saying that?"
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"Would you do me a favor? When you get back to class, just give him this note."
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"Oh!"
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"Please?"
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"[Thinking] When she sees you'll do anything she says, she's bound to respect you."
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"Sure! What's a big sister for?"
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""Guess who likes you.""
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"[Tires Screeching]"
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"- [Siren Wailing] - Nelson!"
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"It wasn't from him. It was from... me."
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"You? Why would you like me? No girls like me!"
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"I don't know why I like you. I just do."
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"So, what do you think?"
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"It's okay- I guess."
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"Do I have to do anything?"
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"Okay."
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"But if anybody sees us, I'm just there to steal your bike."
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"[Panting] Huh? Ooh."
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"I don't feel any happier. How about you?"
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"Mmm, a little."
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"- [Wheels Squeaking] - Oh, you got to see this."
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"It's so cute what she does. Be the baby, kitty."
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"Go on. Be the baby."
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"- [Laughs] Come on. Snowball! - [Shrieking]"
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"You don't understand. She loves to climb in here."
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"Hey, Lise, Mom said you had the toenail clippers, and-"
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"Whoa, Lisa! Look out! Nelson's in our house!"
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"Are you nuts? I'll probably never say this to you again, but you can do better."
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"- Milhouse likes you. - Oh, please!"
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"- Milhouse likes Vaseline on toast. - Hmm."
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"- [Whirring] - Oh, pawns can't move that way, you stupid arm!"
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"- Do you wish to look as happy as me? - [Gasps]"
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"Hope your wheels still work. [Laughs]"
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"Oh, no, you don't."
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"Oh. Okay."
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"I wish I could laugh at the idea of a teacher being decapitated."
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"I know. [Chuckling] It's funny, huh?"
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"I'm gonna go to sleep for a while."
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"Smell you later."
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"- How am I supposed to get home? - I don't know."
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"Should have thought of that before you came over. Ha."
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"and I don't think he ever will be."
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"to think you can change a man."
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