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Clips from The Simpsons - Lisa's Date with Density (S08E08)

"## [Chorus Singing]"
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"- D'oh! [Screams] - [Tires Screeching]"
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"I used to think a car was just a way of getting..."
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"That man died the moment I laid eyes on the 1979 Honda Accord."
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"And I hope to be one myself as soon as I finish paying off Mother."
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"- Uh-oh. This way. - Uh-oh."
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"[Cash Register Dings]"
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"[Chuckles]"
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"[Whistles] Eh, morning, Apu."
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"AJolly Rancher is not a sprinkle, sir."
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"Perhaps in Shangri-la they are, but not here."
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"[Police Radio Chatter]"
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"- Hey, what's this thing? - Huh? Oh, that's an auto-dialer."
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"This bird was using it to pull a telemarketing scam."
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"Bread and water, icy showers, guards whomping your ass around the clock."
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"Nonetheless, I will find the culprit."
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"- Nelson Muntz. - ## [Hums Fanfare]"
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"The cold, hard process of elimination places the "H"..."
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"[Gasps] A principal's ransom in stolen goods!"
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"[Students] Ooh!"
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"Then I'm sentencing you to one week of the lowest..."
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"Oh, yes. Uh-"
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"Let me show you how it works."
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"Well, you've got the power inside you right now."
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"But you're going to annoy thousands of people..."
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"It's nothing but panhandling."
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"Tele-panhandling."
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"She was looking at Nelson!"
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"Oh. How does Bart do this every week?"
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"It's your fault. I accidentally laughed at your immature prank."
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"Thanks, but I prefer the honest way."
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"He's like a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a vest."
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"Ahh."
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"I guess you could say I want to bring out the Milhouse in Nelson."
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"I like you too, Milhouse, but not in that way."
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"Oh! I shouldn't have said that!"
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"[Siren Wailing]"
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"Milhouse, I'm so sorry."
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"He can't hear you now. We had to pack his ears with gauze."
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"Um, that note Milhouse gave you?"
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"[Tires Screeching]"
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"Whoo-hoo! Two dollars! It's working!"
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"- [Shrieks] - I believe you! I don't care!"
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"It's okay. I invited him over."
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"Nelson's my new... friend."
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"I think he's starting to like me."
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"[Dialing]"
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"[Homer's Voice] Greetings, friend."
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"Why, it's the AT-5000 Auto-Dialer, my very first patent."
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"Ah, would you listen to the gibberish they've got you saying?"
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"You were designed to alert schoolchildren about snow days and such."
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"Well, let's get you home to Frinky."
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"You're the first person I've had over to the house since my dad went nuts."
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""Nuke The Whales"?"
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"You don't really believe that, do you?"
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"Oh, yeah. I'm a superstar."
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"[Tunes String]"
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"Hardly."
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"Listen. I'm getting pretty tired."
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"I feel so stupid, Mom. Nelson's not right for me at all..."
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"Hey, this isn't so bad."
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"You just needed someone to bring it out."
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"Yeah. That was pretty rockin'."
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"how you've hurt the feelings of a sweet young man."
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"He's not like you anymore."
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"You're broadcasting geek rays over the entire valley."
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"Oh, yeah? Then prove it, ass-butt."
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"- Fancy pants! - Charlatan!"
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"[Sighs] It was that darn recording again."
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"- Greetings, friend- - Dang!"
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"Nelson doesn't know what he's missing."
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"- All right! - I knew you'd be back!"
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"[Grunting]"
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"Who's out there? Give me your names so I can tell the police."
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"Oh, brandishing your buttocks is only getting me angrier."
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"- Don't look out the window! - [Screams]"
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"[Groans]"
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"[All Grunt]"
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"[Sirens Continue]"
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"Lisa, the cops are chasing me. I need a place to hide!"
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"And I wasn't even there! Honest! Skinner's just out to get me."
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"Well, the thing's been driving the whole town nuts."
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"Hey! Who shot the auto-dialer?"
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"Oh, and, uh, bring that evidence with you."
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"Uh, Chief, what about those coleslaw punks?"
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"You know, in most cities, the chief of police doesn't even go out on calls like these."
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"- Count our blessings every day. - We're very appreciative."
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"All right, all right. I lied. I'm sorry. Let's kiss."
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"No! You don't understand, Nelson."
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"Maybe I was seeing things in you that weren't really there."
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"that ever thought there was a nice guy inside me."
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"Huh. Well, guess you really blew that one, huh?"
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"[Homer's Voice] Hello. This is Homer Simpson, a.k.a. Happy Dude."
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"-"
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"- Skinner! - Uh, Superintendent Chalmers. [Panting]"
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"- What's wrong? - Nothing. I just bought myself a car."
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"Oh. Oh, good."
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"This will sound crazy, but at first..."
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"- Skinner! - What? What?"
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"Uh, you're getting paranoid."
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"from point "A" to point "B"- and on weekends point "C.""
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"But that was the old me."
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"She insists I pay her retroactively for the food I ate as a child."
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"Yeah, yeah. That's, uh, unfortunate."
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"Well, Seymour, I make superintendent money..."
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"which amply covers both food and car."
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"l- Holy jumping Caesar's catfish!"
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"What's the point of having a Honda if you can't show it off?"
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"Sir, if you'll just stop yelling at me, I'm sure I can find a replacement."
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"Good morning. One doughnut with sprinkles, and-"
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"- [Gasps] Wait a minute. These are not sprinkles, sir. - What do you mean?"
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"You've clearly taken items from the candy rack and placed them..."
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"on top of the doughnut in an attempt to pass them off as sprinkles."
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"Well, it was like that when I got here. It really was!"
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"Oh."
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"- [Bell Dings] - [Apu] Thank you. Come again."
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"- Frankly, I would have expected better from Jimmy the Scumbag. - [Mutters]"
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"But instead he's gonna rot in the slammer for the next 20 years."
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"And the only way out is suicide."
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"Telemarketing, eh?"
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