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Clips from South Park - Jewpacabra (S16E16)

"Alright Kyle, listen-"
South Park
"legends tell of a horrific four"
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"that sucks the blood of goats"
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"and it might have just spotted in South Park."
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"Cartman's passover holiday special."
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"Starring..."
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"The Jewpacabra!!!!!"
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"Alright, next please."
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"Yeah, I can't wait for Sunday."
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"Woohoo. Me too!"
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"Yeah.. Yeah should be a real blast."
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"I just hope Jewpacabra doesn't show up..."
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"Okay."
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"So anyways, are they saying what time the event starts?"
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"Okay, look - a lot of people"
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"claim that on passover,"
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"a blood sucking creature called the Jewpacabra comes out"
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"You mean it's like - like a monster?"
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"It's just a legend, alright?!"
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"But people all over town have"
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"started reported strange things."
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"Knocked over trash cans... weird howls..."
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"Yeah, huh, token!"
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"you just because you're black!"
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"U guys, check this out!!!"
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"stay back."
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"It definitely looks like a Jewpacabra attack"
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"Alright guys, we're gonna need some video cameras."
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"Alright, alright!"
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"Knock it off!"
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"Stop spreading lies!"
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"I'm trying to protect people!"
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"And why are you so quick to try"
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"and cover up Jewpacabra's existence?"
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"I looked on the known species webpage"
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"there's no animal called"
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"a 'Jewpacabra' mentioned anywhere."
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"If someone says they saw a Sasquatch,"
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"Now stop lying about a Jewpacabra"
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"before stupid people start believing you!"
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"Lllloooo... loooo looo..."
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"People made it up."
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"Even if there was a J-Jewpacabra"
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"it couldn't get in my r-room anyways..."
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"No, it's a school night!"
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"Butters, do you know how many"
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"times Jewpacabra has been shot on video?"
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"Zeee-ro!"
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"I can't do this alone, please..."
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"oh, yeah, this is exactly the kind of forest"
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"Jewpacabra likes to hide in."
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"You think Jewpacabra is here?"
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"Oh good... maybe we scared it off"
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"You can't scare a Jewpacabra, Butters."
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"a creature that drinks blood,"
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"No Christ!"
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"I'm really not buying this whole Christ thing."
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"Jesus is a lie!"
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"Butters, do you wanna catch"
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"There is no Christ."
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"No way Jesus was son of God, huh Butters."
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"Nope. I don't think..."
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"Christ has any basis in reality."
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"You hear that?!"
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"Oh, hamburgers..."
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"We started Sooper Foods to give"
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"people a place to buy groceries that was fun and safe."
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"We are not canceling our easter egg hunt"
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"because of some wild story!"
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"And that why last night I took"
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"it upon myself to go out and try to capture it on video."
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"What I'm about to show you"
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"is the first video ever shot of a Jewpacabra."
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"This is just after 8 p.m."
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"First we heard rustling in the bushes."
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"Then a strange, animal-like scurrying sound."
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"That's when we saw, this."
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"Kay wait for it, wait for it,"
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"Wait for it... right there!"
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"Did you see the Jewpacabra?!"
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"I know, it's so shocking it"
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"takes a minute for your brain to"
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"process what it's seeing."
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"Watch again."
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"Wait for it... wait... there!"
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"It was no dog."
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"this thing had no idea that"
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"But I'm going to need all the resources you've got."
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"If this thing isn't contained,"
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"your easter egg hunt is going to be a bloodbath."
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"There's two things that separate Sooper Foods"
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"from all the other grocery stores: Fun and safety."
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"What are the chances that"
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"this 'Jewpacabra' is real?"
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"I'm estimating somewhere around..."
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"Point zero zero zero zero zero"
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"We can't afford to take that chance..."
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"Let's get this kid whatever he needs."
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"Here."
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"The Bahamas?"
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"That's right."
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"There's a resort near there"
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"called 'The Atlantis hotel and casino'."
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"They have a water slide there"
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"that goes through a shark tank."
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"Weeeeeeeeeee!!!!"
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"Check it out!!!!!"
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"Where to now?"
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"Now we head back to Colorado,"
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"here."
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"We need to get my video of"
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"the Jewpacabra into the hands of professionals"
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"Would you stop scaring everyone"
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"with your dumb ass myth!"
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"I've explored the depths of Atlantis"
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"and now I'm about to prove a new species exists"
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"These people aren't going to prove anything."
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"To believe any of this"
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"who go around tracking Sasquatches, Kyle!"
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"it heads directly to the right."
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