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Clips from The Simpsons - Homer's Paternity Coot (S17E17)

"Everything we own is in that house!"
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"How often have you driven by a fire and thought,"
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"to the smoke damage outlet store."
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"I've never noticed that sign before."
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"They must have just made this a toll road."
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"They can't charge me for something I use every day."
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"Boy, you sure showed them."
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"Hey, if she's not paying, I'm not paying."
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"We're in the same car."
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"No one is using the tollbooth!"
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"Damn it, we need those 75 cents-es to de-python the town fountain."
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"I'm trapped like the l in a blt."
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"We've gone over the spikes, Tim!"
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"Don't worry, this one's on Jesus."
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"Assuming voter approval."
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"Seymour! Get out and change the tires!"
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"I fell into a burning ring of fire"
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"Kent Brockman here atop mount Springfield,"
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"Here it is."
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"For further analysis, here's the one scientist"
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"who's always home when we call, professor John Frink."
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"we have determined he was frozen sometime in the 1960s."
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"I could have been second chair with the Cincinnati Pops!"
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"This says I ain't allergic to pollen."
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"So I could have gone to the park and played with other kids!"
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"wash those june bugs off of me."
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"What a fool."
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"Open it up."
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"I know I'm just a lifeguard,"
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"If you don't reply to this letter,"
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"lifeguard?"
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"Moleman? Mr. Burns?"
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"See?"
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"Well, this whole fatherhood issue"
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"Homie, what's wrong?"
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"The only tummy ache is in my head."
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"time after time"
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"and you will find me"
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"time after time..."
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"His hobbies are philandering, writing letters,"
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"and making up for lost time."
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"Okay, until you're sure this guy's cool,"
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"I'm a reporter with the local paper."
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"Some call me a treasure hunter."
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"Those are raisins."
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"That is small, right?"
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"it didn't work out."
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"love to know the story behind that name."
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"I thought you worked for a newspaper."
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"980 on the am dial, but number one with our viewers."
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"I found this letter you wrote to my mom, Mona Simpson."
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"I'm sorry. I got a little carried away there."
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"Springfield public access television presents"
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"the bully corner with Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney."
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"Welcome."
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"You know, these public access"
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"shows remind me of independent film."
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"Special people, not special effects."
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"Very well put."
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"So tell us, what's next for william H. Macy?"
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"tomorrow when we're on daddy's boat!"
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"Now, bart, over the years, I've come to learn"
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"the famed emeralds of Piso Mojado."
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"Yes. Fate has a strange sense of humor."
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"It was me."
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"I was thinking of a joke I heard."
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"Why you little..."
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"Would you like to come to our house for dinner?"
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"and with killer whales, but only the latter knew how to chew without humming."
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"Listen, uh, old-timer, I-I'd like you to meet Mason Fairbanks."
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"had you give them what they needed."
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"We have to settle this question once and for all with a paternity test."
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"I'll take any test you want."
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"vinnie testaverde, Ferrari Testarossa..."
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"Grampa, stop."
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"Never! President's physical fitness test,"
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"Now, Homer,"
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"Whatever happens, Abe,"
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"Ah, poop in your fist."
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"Mason Fairbanks."
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"Who's Mason Fairbanks?"
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"This guy."
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"You've said that three times already."
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"Medium."
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"I would've guessed low."
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"There we go."
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"I'm communicating with my fellow hams."
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"That must be him over there."
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"what the heck...?"
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"It may not be much,"
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"Dad, you've been in a coma for three days."
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"Homie, I always believed you were going to make it"
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"As I lay dying on the ocean floor,"
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"To hell with that stupid DNA test"
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"I really am your father."
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"Only a true father would lead his son to believe"
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"he belonged to someone else."
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"Now why don't you stay for dinner."
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"Hey, this one's cold."
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"Oh, my god!"
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""how can this benefit me?""
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"Well, think no more, and drive on down"
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"We've got fire-damaged furniture,"
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"smoke-damaged smoke detectors,"
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"and boxes and boxes of you figure it out."
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"I'm only here because my name had "smoke" in it."
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"Come on, that has nothing to do with it, smokin' Joe."
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"I could send people to your house, bad people."
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"Come on, we're going to that store,"
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"before the next commercial makes me do something else."
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"Buy the suit off my back, only $9.95."
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"Well, what choice do you have?"
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"Voila!"
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"Which is french for "ta-da!""
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"And if you're not paying, I'm not paying."
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"I just wanted us to start talking again."
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"Get those cheapskates through that toll by any means necessary!"
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"No survivors. No shooting."
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"But it's already cocked."
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"All right, shoot it in the fireplace."
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