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Clips from The Office - Couples Discount (S09E09)

""genetically-engineered monster wolf.""
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"I'm not gonna rat on him. Andy gave me a second chance."
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"So the least I could do is let somebody else rat on him."
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"Meredith Palmer ain't never been called no narc."
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"Floozy? Yes. Alkie? Check."
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"But never no narc."
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"Vomit mop? Sure. Floor meat? That's me."
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"- Flesh hoover? Hi. - Hey--"
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"- Meredith, that's plenty."
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"All right? That's more than plenty."
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"Why does no one stop her?"
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"Guys, I know that a lot of people are mad at Andy,"
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"and believe me, I am too."
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"But he has been through a lot,"
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"and we all used to love him, right?"
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"So, if he's gonna get in trouble,"
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"I don't want that on my hands."
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"Fine. [Scoffs]"
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"and probably fire him anyway."
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"What's going on in here, dirty players?"
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"Come on."
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"♪ Who's that girl? ♪"
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"♪ Who's that girl? ♪"
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"It's Andy."
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"[Chuckles]"
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"All right. [Snaps] Back to work."
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"Do you wanna just, um, I don't know, tell me why?"
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"I don't know."
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"I thought that was a little weird."
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"You told me Brian got fired for the whole warehouse thing."
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"And you intentionally left out"
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"who knows less about his marriage than the sound guy."
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"I didn't tell you about the crying"
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"because I didn't want you to know how upset I was."
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"Yeah, well, yeah, okay. Well, then thank you."
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"Thanks to both of you."
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"And I'm not mad at Brian."
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"And to be honest, I probably don't have"
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"So let's just forget about it."
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"Okay."
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"I need you guys to tell me all the highlights from the last three months"
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"Any big sales or office gossip?"
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"Well, we had the Scranton White Pages."
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"Not helpful. Let's stay positive, people."
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"- Okay? - Hey, guys."
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"Hey, David, how are ya?"
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"where we motivate each other."
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"I'm not gonna lie-- I get as much out of it as they do."
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"Whatever you guys have been doing this last quarter,"
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"I couldn't be happier with the numbers."
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"- Thank you. - Well, finish up."
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"I'm gonna meet with Val about that warehouse guy you had to let go,"
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"- Great. - Great job, everybody!"
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"[Quietly] We had to let a warehouse guy go?"
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"Lit the whole thing on fire. It was crazy."
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"- What? - Yeah."
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"There was a fire in the warehouse?"
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"The whole thing is in ashes."
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"This is what I'm talking about."
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"This would be good to know. All right, what else?"
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"We started selling balloons."
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"And, uh, Kathy Ireland signed on"
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"as the official spokesbabe of Dunder Mifflin."
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"No kidding."
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"Yeah, in the European billboards,"
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"Go, Kathy. She's like 50."
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"- They're tasteful. - Good, good. What else?"
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"And who knew the balloon game would be so lucrative?"
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"And thank God, right? We needed the income after the fire."
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"What fire?"
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"The warehouse fire. Weren't you just down there?"
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"It's like burnt to ashes."
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"I am speaking metaphorically, of course."
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"You know I have lots of irons"
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"- in the "fire." - Mm-hmm."
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"Well, that's one of 'em, you know."
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"Making sure that the warehouse logistics"
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"is a well-oiled, properly-stoked fire."
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"Think you'll agree I explained that pretty well."
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"All right. Everyone."
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"[Rhythmic sounds]"
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"The fish sounds great."
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"Yeah, I guess."
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"Yeah, I don't know,"
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"it just sort of sounds like noise to me now."
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"- You think I need a new fish? - I don't love you anymore."
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"- What? - I still like you."
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"But you were gone a really long time,"
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"and you didn't really email me all that much."
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"You re-tweeted me a lot, to be fair."
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"But I don't love you."
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"and we lost a little bit of juju,"
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"There is a lot of love here."
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"I just said there isn't love."
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"On your side."
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"But there's tons on my side. It's gushing."
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"We're just outta sync right now."
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"I mean, my parents lasted 30, 40 years."
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"They were never happy at the same time."
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"I guess."
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"I mean, what do we have left?"
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"I mean, I have spent a lot of time in the sun."
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"I'm gonna be a prune in like three years."
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"Ugh..."
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"I know you may not be feeling love for me right now,"
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"but if you fake it,"
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"I won't be able to tell the difference."
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"So I'll feel good."
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"And then eventually, maybe,"
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"you'll actually start to love me again."
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"You really think we can get that back?"
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"Totally."
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"You know what?"
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"Maybe we should cancel that bottle of wine tonight."
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"Yeah, I just feel like I got a bunch of stuff to do in Philly,"
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"and I'm sure you have stuff to do, so we can just..."
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"Drop me at the bus station?"
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"I just feel like we're gonna fight."
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"Yeah."
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"So..."
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