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Clips from The Office - Couples Discount (S09E09)

"we're in the same city for Valentine's Day."
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"It's like magic."
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"and begging my partners to switch a Tuesday for a Thursday."
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"And poof, he disappears."
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"You know, when I was a kid we had a dog who got real sick,"
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"and we had to send him to a farm."
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"I would be happy to."
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"Unless he comes back as pretend Dwight."
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"But now Andy's coming back."
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"I say we all have one last fun, boss-less day."
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"where I get my feet detailed."
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"I'll be your foot buddy."
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"Clark, you will be my fake boyfriend"
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"Do you want to pretend to be a couple so we get the..."
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"No."
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"Yeah, yeah, no, totally. That's good."
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"Okay."
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"My boyfriend does look like a pretty girl, doesn't he?"
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"Turns out I can't even be in a pretend relationship."
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"and we're taking our business elsewhere."
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"[Exhales]"
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"You could boom his whole life for him."
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"Oh, geez, my nails aren't dry yet."
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"Technically, I'm still dating my first-grade boyfriend."
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"Well, Valentine's surprise for Erin."
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"[Rhythmic beat]"
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"♪ Yoruba yoruba ♪"
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"Hey, burning man, if it's not selling out too much,"
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"I mean, I came back early to surprise Erin."
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"He and Pam are having their Valentine's Day lunch."
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"We were telling two different versions of the same story,"
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"Yeah, and that's the thing. When we were fighting,"
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"Just gonna call the Scranton White Pages"
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"that he was not authorized to."
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"- Hmm. - Coolio."
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"Seriously?"
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"- Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm."
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"and he loses the biggest sale this branch has ever seen."
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"Meredith, why don't you?"
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"Einstein sarcastically? You bet."
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"just let it be his fault, not ours."
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"The state he's in, Wallace will take one look at him"
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"Let's get back to bustin' some paper rhymes."
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"Okay, I can tell you're mad at me."
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"a kind of major intimate detail."
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"I don't know, Pam, I guess I just feel like a chump..."
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"Because it would've stressed you out,"
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"and you're always saying how much you don't want more stress."
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"- It's not Brian's fault. - No, you're right."
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"any reason to be mad at all because I wasn't there."
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"[Sighs]"
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"in case David asks."
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"We were just having our weekly round table"
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"Sounds great. Don't let me interrupt."
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"and you and I will talk in 15 minutes?"
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"You know Pam's mural? Well, Frank--"
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"Fire department was here. It was in all the papers."
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"Oh..."
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"- What? - Yeah."
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"- she's gonna be topless. - [Chuckles] Wow."
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"It looked fine to me."
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"Okay."
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"- Thanks, Andy. - Thank you."
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"Really playing the scales, huh?"
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"Okay, I get it."
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"You're unhappy. I've been gone a long time,"
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"but you and me, we have a future."
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"But that's just timing, and what's timing?"
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"35, maybe 40 years, if we're lucky?"
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"You got really sunburned."
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"Yes."
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"Come on."
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"Oh?"
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"Are you sure?"
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"And just so you know,"
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"Andy? David. Still here."
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"Hey. I feel so lucky"
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"Or it's like me getting on my hands and knees"
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"Alakazam."
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"By the way, they do need an extra day next week."
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"[Snaps]"
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"Hey."
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"Wanna play hooky today?"
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"Oh, maybe. What do you got in mind?"
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"We can do anything you want."
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"I really wanna have fun today,"
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"because tomorrow is going to be a nightmare."
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"Andy's coming back from his stupid, dumb boat trip."
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"He's been rude, he's been selfish,"
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"I think he's a big jerk, and I'm breaking up with him."
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"Bam, Andy! How do ya like me now?"
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"I hope as a friend."
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"Erin says she's gonna break up with Andy, but I'm not sure."
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"He's coming back tomorrow, and surprise,"
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"today she wants to do whatever I'd like."
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"And on his last day, we did everything he loved."
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"[Gasps]"
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"[Chuckles]"
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"Wanna play catch in the parking lot?"
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"- Sure. - Great."
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"- Get my coat. - Perfect."
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"[Knocks] [Murmurs] Come in."
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"Andy, hi, I just made another huge sale"
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"for the company that you manage,"
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"so I need you to authorize that expense report"
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"and sign off on that contract."
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"It would be my pleasure, Mr. Schrute."
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"Rink-a-dit doo, rika-doot-deet doo, rika-deet-doo."
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"I really like Andy these days."
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"He's pretend, and he does exactly as I tell him to."
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"All that will change when real Andy comes back tomorrow."
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"we're in for an epic, confusing showdown."
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"Andy left a carton of milk in the fridge,"
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"so I've been sneaking a little bit"
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"every day for the last three months."
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"It's been yummy."
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"So, I guess it's good-bye, chunky lemon milk."
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"Okay, I'll say it."
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"I wish Andy had stayed on his trip."
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"Yeah, let's get some booze and some cocaine"
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