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Clips from The Big Bang Theory - The Vacation Solution (S05E05)

"- Upsilon? - Heh, good one."
The Big Bang Theory
"Guys. Guys, President Seibert is headed this way."
The Big Bang Theory
"No, and stop installing suggestion boxes everywhere."
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"- I don't need a vacation. - You're obligated to take one."
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"Good Lord."
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"Bleeding from my ears."
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"Will they, Leonard?"
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"This is really happening."
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"A seagull stole a hot dog from me on the beach."
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"If I had a week off..."
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"I don't think I could ever let a guy give me a massage."
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"But he chose instead to expand his mind and learn something new."
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"That's rough."
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"- ...you wouldn't sign a prenup? - Heh, absolutely not."
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"The smell of formaldehyde."
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"The distant chatter of lab animals being dispatched for dissection."
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"...or mad cow disease in my grilled cheese sandwich?"
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"No, "Hi, Raj," no, "How are you, Raj?""
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"Check it out."
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"Ma and I have a primo double cemetery plot at Mt. Sinai..."
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"This beaker used to contain cerebrospinal fluid..."
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"You know what this place needs?"
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"When I was in kindergarten..."
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"And I'm super smart, so it's probably true."
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"Well, I'm sorry, it takes me a while to get things going on an unfamiliar toilet."
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"I've given you the simplest things to do and you haven't done one of them right."
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"All right."
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"Social convention dictates that I let my hair down at a local watering hole."
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"Yeah, I have ten fingers and ten toes."
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"- That's not an apology. - That is your opinion."
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"Even though he's retired from the police force, he still carries his gun."
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"And just to be safe, when you talk to him..."
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"...don't bring up Jimmy Carter, gardeners..."
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"Got it, got it. Will you e-mail me that list, heh?"
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"...leave as quickly as you can without making eye contact."
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"Gentlemen, I think I've come up with a fun way..."
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"...to get young people interested in science."
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"Physics Mad Libs."
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"Now, give me a number."
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"- Five. - Uh-huh."
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"E."
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"And a funny Greek letter."
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"- Gamma. - I said funny."
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"And an electrical charge."
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"- Positive. - Ha, ha! Perfect."
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"Okay, get this. Ahem."
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""Professor Jones told the symposium..."
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"...he had a new method for calculating the mass of a muon."
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"Five times the limit of, heh..."
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"...e to the upsilon as it approaches...""
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"Ha, ha, oh, my gosh. Okay."
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"Okay, no, no. Ahem."
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"I'll start over."
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""Professor Jo...""
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"I haven't seen him laugh that hard..."
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"...since the day Leonard made that multiplication error."
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"He thought he carried the one, but he didn't."
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"It's not funny. That mistake got published."
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"Stop, I'm gonna wet myself."
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"- I wonder what he wants. - He doesn't look happy."
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"I'm guessing he wants Sheldon."
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"- Dr. Cooper. - Told you."
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"Ah, President Seibert."
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"...to one of the suggestions I put in the box by your office."
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"You don't like written suggestions."
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"You don't like when I give them to you while in the men's room."
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"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're one of those people..."
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"...who are not open to suggestions."
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"Dr. Cooper, the Physics Department tells me you're refusing to take vacation."
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"And I'd like you to know the most often received suggestion..."
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"...in my suggestion box you installed without asking me is:"
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""Can Dr. Cooper take a vacation?""
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"Okay, it's settled, then. I'll see you all on Monday. Except for you."
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"But if I don't come into work, what am I supposed to do?"
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"Read, rest, travel."
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"I hear Afghanistan is nice this time of year."
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"Sarcasm?"
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"No, you should go."
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"Tonight's gonna be a good night"
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"And tonight's gonna be a good night"
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"And tonight's gonna be a good, good night"
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"Tonight's the night, uh, uh Let's live it up, uh"
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"I got my money Let's spend it up..."
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"Would you stop that caterwauling?"
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"What the hell are you doing?"
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"- What are you doing hiding back there? - I'm sneaking into work."
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"Now, if the guard at the university asks what's under the blanket..."
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"...you tell him it's some lobster traps."
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"- Lobster traps? - Yes."
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"That's how Velma and Scooby smuggled Shaggy into the old lighthouse."
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"What are you gonna do when you get to the university?"
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"People are gonna recognize you."
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"Fine. Just get back under your blanket and I'll drive you there."
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"And no more singing."
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"Fine."
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"I have GPS on my phone. I know you turned around."
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"I'm so glad you talked Howard..."
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"...out of having your wedding invitations in Klingon."
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"Turn it over."
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"I'm hoping my relatives think it's Hebrew."
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"I'm gonna be a maid of honor."
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"'I'm gonna wear a beautiful dress and walk down that aisle..."
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"...and finally, I will have my special day."
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"You mean my special day."
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"They're gonna need an extra-large veil for somebody's head."
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"- If I actually ever get married. - Why wouldn't you?"
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"My dad. Because I make a lot more money than Howie..."
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"...he's putting a lot of pressure on me to get a prenup."
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"- Ouch! - Yeah."
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"- Howie's gonna freak out. - Parental pressure can be daunting."
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"I remember the battle with my mother about shaving my legs."
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"Last year, I finally gave in and let her do it."
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"I'm a believer in breaking bad news to a guy when you're in bed."
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"That's how I told my high school boyfriend I slept with his brother."
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"That's how I told his brother the same thing."
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"I don't know. I don't wanna manipulate him with sex."
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"Oh, sweetie, that's what sex is for."
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"The connection between marriage and money is nothing new."
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"The term "wed" referred to the money and livestock..."
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"...the groom paid the bride's father."
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