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Clips from 30 Rock - Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning (S05E05)

"I want to kick you"
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"I'm not good at making up songs"
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"As you can tell"
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"From this rhyme"
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"Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh"
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"Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh-oh"
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"We can't believe it got so bad"
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"Help the people"
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"Wow. You're actually doing this."
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"Yes, all I'm missing is the disaster."
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"but he found a loophole."
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"And now, to close it, I need $80,000 to buy the rights to "Uptown Girl.""
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"Lemon, it sounds like you're trying to fight crazy with crazy."
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"So why don't you have it out with him once and for all,"
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"Because we're not two adults, Jack. One of us is an actor."
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"or I will drop a D in the greenroom!"
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"Yeah, last week you thought I was crying wolf, didn't you?"
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"I like Lutz the most."
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"Look at all of you trying to impress me."
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"It's so hard to choose when everyone loves me so much."
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"But only three of you can ride to safety in my car."
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"Tracy, your little singing game is over."
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"I'll just take out the melody, and no one has to pay for that."
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"That was me singing The Beatles' "Here Comes the Sun" for free."
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"And I'm not rehearsing."
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"Yeah, Tupac is alive."
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"So we're gonna talk. Right now."
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"No cameras."
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"Oh, that explains it."
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"No wonder they're so coarse and wrinkly."
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"And how do you repay me?"
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"You are late. You blow off rehearsals."
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"And your online-romance prank was not funny."
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"You wore a yellow hat to that coffee shop!"
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"Have you ever tried to work with you?"
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"Really? You're trying to blame me?"
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"Five years ago, I saved your show."
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"Without me, do you have any idea where you would be right now?"
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"This Honky Grandma be trippin'"
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"over SurfMaster's mid-range Jet Skis!"
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"Where do you think you would be without me?"
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"Now, Jerry, in rehearsal,"
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"it's okay to play with yourself,"
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"And no complaining."
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"That's awesome."
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"Well, at least Jerry bothered to come to rehearsal!"
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"And, in my alternate reality, Dennis dies, and I win the lottery!"
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"But then I will run you over with a Jet Ski!"
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"Jonathan, come in here!"
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"Fantastic news! There's been a natural disaster!"
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"and News is going to full-time coverage."
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"The island is called Mago. It's near Fiji."
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"Heavy structural damage, no fatalities... sad, but not too sad."
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"We'll get footage of beautiful Polynesian people, proud and topless."
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"Really? You're trying to blame me?"
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"Five years ago, I saved your show!"
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"Okay, first of all, I look weird there because I'm snarting."
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"You snarted in my dressing room?"
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"I'm sorry, Tray, but now I just need a heartfelt resolution."
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"So we're gonna use a little reality-TV magic."
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"We shoot you guys meeting in the hallway, you apologize, you hug."
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"And I have absolutely no reason to apologize to him."
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"And I have no reason to hug her,"
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"other than my love of having boobs pressed against me!"
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"If I hugged you, I would angle it so that you got no boob!"
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"I would get there."
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"Hey, buddy! I made you an Apocalypse Road Trip mix."
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"I hope your car has a CD player."
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"Pfft, it has two."
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"Lutzy, guess what."
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"A friend of mine works for Marvel,"
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"and he got me four tickets to a test screening"
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"of "Captain America" tonight!"
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"Chris Evans' body looks amazing in the trailer!"
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"When's his "Men's Health" cover?"
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"How are we getting to New Jersey?"
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"the poor people of Mago Island"
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"and their brave shorts-wearing police force."
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"If you're just joining us,"
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"the Fijian island owned by controversial actor Mel Gibson."
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"to the main house"
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"No word yet on the fate of Gibson's collection of anti-Semitic"
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"No, this is not a prank, this is Jack Donaghy,"
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"Hello?"
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"We are joined now by a relative of the island's owner,"
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"We go now to NB C's exclusive"
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"prime-time benefit for the victims of the devastation in Mago,"
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"specifically, Mel Gibson and his houseguest, Jon Gosselin."
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"Why do bad things happen to good people?"
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"But look at these pictures."
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"... will go towards rebuilding..."
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"His sex Jacuz zi."
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"And help the people"
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"Happened to"
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"Dude, did you just buy that car?"
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"There's a dealer sticker in the window, you got no plates,"
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"and you made these flames out of magic marker and tape."
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"I'd rather die than ride with him. Let's go."
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"And help the people"
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"The thing that happened"
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"Happened to"
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"Help the..."
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"What the hell?"
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"Of course, friend."
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"So, we're good?"
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"Never better."
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"You're the best. Love you."
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"Let's never fight again."
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"No, never, Tracy."
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"I know it's fake, but..."
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"Damn it, I miss him!"
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"I knew I'd get that boob squish!"
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"Hey. Are you okay?"
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"Aw, you're kidding."
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"Your dumb stunt worked?"
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"It was our highest rating since that episode of "S VU""
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"where the detectives watched "American Idol.""
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"It was reality TV. It can be good, it can be terrible."
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"It just can't be anything in between."
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"You know, some people actually craft stories."
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