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Clips from 30 Rock - Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning (S05E05)

"and pretend all the buildings are giant severed robot penises."
30 Rock
"Be quiet, Lemon. It's happening."
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"I am like Keats' stout Cortez,"
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"So... will we be getting new employee IDs?"
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"'Cause I'd really like to retake my photo."
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"10:00 in the morning!"
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"No, mother, literally."
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"Tracy, we've been playing this game for five years now."
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"I don't know."
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"it's not gonna get better."
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"When you win an Oscar, it opens up an elite level of actor craziness..."
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"Every crazy A-lister owns an island..."
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"This is a whole new world in front of me, LL."
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"I'm gonna get a sandwich and then eat it on the toilet."
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"Isn't it exciting? I've never been on TV before."
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"That show is upsetting."
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"Everybody wins."
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"Shh! Shh! Lemon, it's okay."
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"and filmed options for every possible disaster scenario."
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"I mean, this morning, I stole a cab from a pregnant lady on crutches,"
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"My goodness, Lemon."
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"I'll do it!"
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"I need something new,"
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"Well, I just finished a screenplay"
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"where a tidal wave destroys Washington."
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"Someone write down "tidal wave"! Shut him up!"
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"the ark is just for teenage boys."
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"stuff like that could totally happen here."
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"And to answer your question, it's Angie's cameras."
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"so Tracy's keeping it boring,"
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"give them nothing that could make him look bad."
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"Then, once he wins, it's on to the next level,"
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"I want to get it perfect"
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"Unclaimed Perfection Baby Boy!"
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"we meet outside under the Atlas statue,"
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"walk to the 59th Street Bridge,"
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"I'm good at archery and kind of want to die."
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"I can use my glasses to start a fire."
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"Cerie will be some sort of queen in the new society."
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"Tracy, I need you to do something."
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"Yeah, you need to stay late for a wardrobe fitting tonight."
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"Look, is there anything you two could maybe fight about?"
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"Sorry, this is gonna be nice and boring."
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"Tracy's even going to agree to attend a fund-raiser"
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"Boy, I don't know, Jack. This just doesn't feel right."
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"Bob."
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"But we're not laughing now."
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"This horrible flood."
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"These super-intelligent sharks..."
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"I am finished taking orders from you"
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"Unlike me who is good"
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"When the stuff we know occurred went down"
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"Step up and do your part"
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"And help the people the thing that happened happened to"
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"Happened to"
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"Fantastic, Jenna."
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"You really brought the songwriting computer's words to life."
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"I thought I could use Angie's cameras to make him behave,"
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"Yeah, because crazy is the only language that Tracy is fluent in."
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"like two adults?"
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"And actors are not people."
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"Someone get a PA to feed me baby food,"
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"I feel like The Bachelor!"
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"But to whom shall I give my rose?"
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"I got Auto-Tune for my computer, and if you try to sing,"
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"Liz Lemon won, do do do do"
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"I'm going to shoot garden gnomes with a handgun at Tupac's house."
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"I bet you'd like to have that on your show."
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"Okay, fine."
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"All right, Tracy. The kid gloves are coming off."
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"Five years ago, I rescued your career."
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"By making my life harder at every turn."
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"You know what's actually funny about all this?"
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"I rode in here on a white horse that you made me leave in the lobby!"
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"All you do is stifle me when you should be thanking me!"
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"Hey, dummy, you got to drive me to paintball."
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"The only reason why I got that DUI is 'cause it was your birthday."
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"What's up, Jerry?"
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"Damn it!"
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"Was it in Indian Kashmir?"
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"It's perfect."
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"Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning is a go!"
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"And second of all, I said no cameras!"
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"That footage cannot be shown on television."
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"We call it staging it, or lying."
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"And I would anticipate your angling, and I would get there!"
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"And it has flames on the side."
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"Okay, so, who are you gonna take with you besides Frank?"
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"What am I gonna do?"
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"Where have you been, sir? Have you seen the news?"
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"We are receiving reports of extensive damage"
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"and misogynistic literature."
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"and I'm calling about Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning!"
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"Oskar Gibson."
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"First off, the Holocaust never happened."
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"We'll never know."
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"Look at these beautiful souls."
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"Pick me, Lutzy! Pick me!"
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"Now, you can't all fit, so..."
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"What?"
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"We now return to "Queen of Jordan." You heard me!"
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"Tracy, I need you."
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"Love you more!"
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"You said it all."
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"- I got there. - I'm angling."
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"It was a train wreck!"
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"or having people give each other meaningful looks."
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"Doesn't matter how long you've lived in New York."
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"Seems like one of us should sing "The Circle Game" right now."
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"staring at the Pacific with a wild surmise"
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"and daring to imagine what new planets might swim into my ken."
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"I was holding in a snart, and then right when she took the photo..."
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"Don't you want to know what a snart is?"
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"I can tell you now! It's 10:00!"
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"FYI, Tracy is phoning it in today."
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"What else is new?"
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"Are you also staying at this hotel?"
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"Line!"
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"After I win a bunch of awards for my movie,"
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"I don't see how it could get any worse."
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