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Clips from NewsRadio - Jumper (S04E04)

"No. I'm just getting ready to jump."
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"You know what? I'm gonna top off this coffee. Can I get you anything?"
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"No, I'm good. Thanks."
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"Okeydoke."
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"Hello? Who's screwin' with the phones?"
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"Joe, this is not helping me to look busy."
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"This isn't even a cell phone, is it? It used to be."
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"What can I do for you, sweetie?"
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"Listen, everyone, we have an emergency and I need someone to dial 911 immediately."
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"Oops. Hang on. Hang on. I got it. I got it. I got it. All right. Okay."
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"Okay, got it. All right."
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"Anything?"
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"Matthew, this is 411. Information."
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"Ooh! I don't know. I can't. You know what? I'm an idiot. I know!"
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"Hello. Hi. My name is Dave Nelson."
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"There is a man on my ledge who says he's going to jump."
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"Thank you."
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"saying something about a jumper at 1460 Madison."
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"with enough cable to reach the ledge outside Dave's office."
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"If the pigs show up, just say Bill McNeal has the situation under control."
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"Hey, hey, hey! Where you going?"
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"Wh-- I am not a naughty little boy! What?"
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"Hey, would you stop staring at that man? You're gonna scare him."
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"Whoa!"
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"Dave, I got that speed dial workin'."
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"For 911, you press star-37."
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"Bill, what are you doing?"
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"Joe, do you have any idea what you're doing?"
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"Could you loosen it up a little?"
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"Let go of the rope, Dave. You're too valuable for me to let you risk your life."
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"Do you know there's a guy standin' on the ledge outside your window there?"
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"Dave, what is happening to him?"
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"What?"
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"Nothing. Here, here."
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"Come on. [ Groans ]"
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"Beautiful day, huh? Looks like it might rain."
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"Nah, it's just a light fog that should burn off by midafternoon..."
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"Hey, you're Bill McNeal, aren't you?"
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"It's a common reaction when fans meet me for the first time."
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"Are we on the air yet? No, and we're not going on the air."
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"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Why? Why aren't we goin' live? This is great radio."
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"- This is not great radio. - Exactly. This is a disaster waiting to happen."
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"Is there any way we could get a blimp?"
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"You know, about how the little man-- no offense, Dave--"
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"That kind of sensationalism is no better than those video shows about animals attacking humans."
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"like he's eatin' a big, pink apple?"
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"then I'm gonna jump,"
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"I think that's too gruesome. Why don't we just stick with you jumping?"
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"If Bill can clip the safety line to him, he won't be able to jump."
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"- Yeah. - Good. Fine."
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"Incorporate my name-- Bill McNeal-- into your remarks at least twice."
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"♪ Le-le, la-la, lo ♪ Come on. With me."
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"Did you hook up the safety line? Shh! Yes."
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"And don't forget-- Holy crap!"
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"Sad, despondent, alone... man..."
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"Mike has a statement that he's been hoping to make-- [ Screams ]"
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"Dave, I was wrong, you were right."
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"I'm ready to reel you guys in. Either one of you carrying any extra weight?"
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"'Cause if you're carrying any extra weight, now'd be the time to dump it."
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"[ Creaking ] No. But any little bit'll help."
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"Standard operating procedure."
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"Dude, just drop it. Actually, he shouldn't."
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"Why would you possibly put a pair of scissors in your pocket?"
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"In case I get arrested, to cut the handcuffs. Handcuffs are made of steel!"
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"So are scissors!"
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"He's a sad, lonely guy, basically."
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"All right. You got it."
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"If it were up to you, Bill wouldn't even be hanging from that rope."
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"I'm reporting live from the end of a long rope 12 and a half floors above 59th Street."
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""I don't blame my supervisor or my coworkers,"
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"a certain Jimmy James"--"
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"[ Steady Beep ] I've never seen you move that fast before."
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"I conserve my energy for moments like this."
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"Well, Mr. James, right now my primary concern is Bill's safety,"
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"You're gonna have to let that guy make his statement. Wait a minute."
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"Good. No, you're not!"
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"There is a way that we can turn this all around and make you look like a hero."
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"Thanks."
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"All right, dude. So here's the deal."
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"Yea! Yea."
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"Scout's honor?"
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"A virgin? I knew it. It's a trick."
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"You're no scout. No dice."
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"I promise that if you come back in,"
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"to give you a new job with full medical, dental and a 10% raise in pay."
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"I guess I won't be needing these anymore, huh?"
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"[ Cheering ]"
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"How would you like to come back to work for Jimmy James Incorporated?"
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"Yeah. Here."
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"I can show you the ledge where the nutjob almost bought it."
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"Yeah, thank you, sweetheart. Well, I've just got to say, uh, welcome aboard."
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"Oh, yeah. Hey, thanks. Yeah."
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"Say, where am I goin'? Hey, they'll tell you that in the helicopter."
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"Oh. A helicopter? Oh, yea. Uh-huh."
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"Whoops."
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"Feel any better, Bill?"
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"You know what would feel really good right now? What?"
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"Morning. Morning."
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"I hear that. So, is there anything I can help you with?"
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"Sounds like a plan."
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"- Why not? - My phone's not working. - Then why are you holding it?"
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"I'm rewirin' the phones for speed dial,"
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"so if you have to call 911 you don't have to push a whole lot of buttons."
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"I do have to call 911 immediately."
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"[ Beeping ] [ Sleigh Bells Jingling ]"
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"No, you're conflating two completely different conversations."
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"I am not a liar."
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"You're saying I'm a liar. I never said you were lying."
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"I distinctly remember we were standing by the elevators--"
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"I need to use your phone."
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"Look, I'll call you back. Dave needs my phone."
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"I don't know why. You ask him."
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"Why do you need Catherine's phone? Yeah."
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"Hi. Yes. Manhattan, please. Can you connect me to the police?"
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"I'm on the 14th floor of the Criterion Building at 1460 Madison."
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"Yes, 1460 Madison."
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"Hello, Police? Yeah. Someone just made a crank call from this office,"
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"I'm sorry. That was my little boy, Davey."
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"Yeah, yeah. There's no jumper here. No need to send police."
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"[ Chuckles ] Yeah, he is a cutie, but what a handful."
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