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Clips from Sanford and Son (1972) - Here Comes the Bride, There Goes the Bride (S01E01)

"- Here. Have a drink. - Oh, no, I couldn't. I'm on a diet."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, since I'm here, I might as well have a little taste of gin."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- To settle my stomach. - You mean a water glass full of gin."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- What do you mean by that? - You know what I mean."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"No, I don't know what you mean."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Last time you settled your stomach, it was so settled, you couldn't move."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I knew it. I knew it. I knew it all the time."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"When I saw that little ol' gal, I knew she was no good."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Oh, you poor thing. I feel so sorry for you."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Oh, yes, I do. But I knew it wouldn't last."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You just come on over to our house and stay awhile."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Get away from old sourpuss over there."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Hazel, how would you like one across your lip?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You know, I don't mind givin' a lady one across the lip."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And that'll be the last time you give somebody somethin' across the lips."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- No, it won't. - Oh, yes, it will."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"If I hit you, I bet your lips get to the hospital before the ambulance."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- No, they won't! - Listen, I fought heavyweights before."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- You better get... - Hold it! Hold it!"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Why don't you just stop it? - Aunt Hazel..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'm sorry as I can be, boy. I don't know what to say."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Thanks a lot, Uncle Edgar. - I really felt sorry for you up there."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"When that little girl ran out on you like that, I was thinkin' to myself..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That's what you looked like up there."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"A real dummy."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"She made me look like a fool, Uncle Edgar."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"What's gonna happen if she shows up?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'm gonna take her skinny legs and tie 'em up in a knot."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- It's definitely off, huh? - You can bet your sweet..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Pop! - It's off."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"This toaster. The wedding present your Aunt Elsie and me gave you."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Thanks a lot, Uncle Edgar. That's just what we wanted. A toaster."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- It's not much use to you now, is it? - No, I guess not."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I really didn't have a chance to think about all this."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I was thinking, long as I'm here... Well, you see, I mean..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Edgar, why'd don't you just admit that you want your toaster back?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"No, I was wondering. See, we don't have one..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"and the thing cost 19.95."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You know good and well you didn't buy that toaster."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Now, wait a minute, Fred. That was a legitimate purchase."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'll tell you the truth. I was gonna ask about these sheets."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, since they're not gonna be used, it's a shame to make 'em go to waste."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Hey, kid, don't put your feet up on my good couch."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- What did you do with my tablecloth? - I don't know, Aunt Hazel."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- It should be here with the presents. - Well, it's not here."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Well, I don't know. - It's supposed to be with the presents."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Or maybe you didn't think it was good enough for you."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Yeah, it's here on the table. We're using it."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, that's a fine thing to do..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Now we can't even take 'em back. - Well, I didn't get married."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'll buy you another tablecloth, Aunt Hazel."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"It's only me, your ol' aunt."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And my gift was the first one they used, and now I can't ever take it back."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Well, I'll take the cheese board back. - I may as well take my toaster back."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Come on, you children."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Just stop it! Would you just stop it?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You tell 'em, son!"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"What's the matter with you people? I don't believe you."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I just had the shock of my life, and what are you all doing?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You're standing around here worrying about your dumb wedding presents."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, I don't want you or your presents in my house for another second!"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'll tell you exactly what you could do."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You could figure who belongs to what out in the yard!"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And don't say we didn't feed you!"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Hazel, you never looked sweeter."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That was nice."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I enjoyed every moment."
Sanford and Son (1972)
""Lead us not into temptation. ""
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You got detoured just in time."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'm goin' upstairs and stretch out, Pop. I really need it after today."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I forgot to cancel the honeymoon suite."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You can watch the roller derby."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"No. I don't think so. I'm just going to bed."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Okay, son."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Me? - Yeah."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"We could take a couple bottles of this champagne..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I'll get the checkerboard and pack a couple of sweaters."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Okay, hurry up. I'll get some champagne."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Some champagne. - Hey, son, I was just thinking."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Things must be getting better for us. - What do you mean, Pop?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, me and your mama could never afford a honeymoon."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And now look. Me and you are going."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Get upstairs."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- That was real nice. - Yeah."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"A couple of days at the ocean will really do you good, Pop."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Look at this. - What's this?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Souvenir. - A souvenir?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, you and I will know."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- And look here. - Stationery? A pen?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"But I got this."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"It's supposed to be your wedding, and they took the wedding gifts back..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"so I thought I'd pick you up a few things."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"How about that?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"We got a Bible upstairs. You don't need this."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, we'll use this one downstairs. That way we'll have full coverage."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And besides, I didn't swipe the Bible."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"It was in the honeymoon suite. And look. It's brand new."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"At 12:00. Straight up."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Take it out of that handkerchief. That's gotta go on her finger."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Okay. Bye."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- What's wrong with that? - Everybody will be laughing at us, Pop."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That's a nice thing to bring up on my wedding day."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"That's right. He works in a post office. He's in charge of a window."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Did she have a checkup?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"It is these Christian bonds that serve as an anchor..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"You have brought rings..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Her leg look like Italian salami with the rope wrapped around it."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"I don't understand it, Pop. She was so sweet."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Yeah, sweet before the wedding."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Well? - Well, what?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- Thanks a lot, Aunt Hazel. - I'll tell you what you do, darling."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"And they wasn't monogrammed. I can take them back."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Have you seen her tablecloth?"
Sanford and Son (1972)
"No, son, it's more like the answer to a prayer."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, when they took all the..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"take Crystal Simpson to be your lawful wedded wife..."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, this is very unusual."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"This couch is for drinkin'."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"Well, it's too late now. They're not gonna give you your deposit back."
Sanford and Son (1972)
"- I bought it. I bought it... - In a pool hall."
Sanford and Son (1972)
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