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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S05E05)

"What the...?!"
Archer (2009)
"- Hey, sleepyhead! Welcome to Texas! - Already?"
Archer (2009)
"- What the shit, Pam?! - That's how we do backseat drivers."
Archer (2009)
"- I was driving! - Yeah, and sucking at it."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, breaker breaker, you got your"
Archer (2009)
"- ears on, Snowball? Come back. - Hang on."
Archer (2009)
"- Who? - Oh. Is it from from the cupcake?"
Archer (2009)
"Truck stops... are crazy awesome! This is Snowball, good buddy."
Archer (2009)
"- You might wanna check your six, Snowball. - Ew, is that about the shart?!"
Archer (2009)
"- What the hell do they want? - I think they want us to pull over."
Archer (2009)
"It's a kidnapping, it's a kidnapping to kidnap me, Cherlene!"
Archer (2009)
"- Yeah, you're not even famous. - Yet! Duh!"
Archer (2009)
"- Neither was Frank Sinatra Jr. Now pull over! - We are not..."
Archer (2009)
"- kidnapped just to boost your singing career! - Well, now wait a minute."
Archer (2009)
"Wait a minute! Did you tell anybody"
Archer (2009)
"- we were hauling a shitload of coke?! - Uh..."
Archer (2009)
"- Mmm... maybe. - Maybe?!"
Archer (2009)
"- I wanted people to like me. - People who like you because you have"
Archer (2009)
"Wow! I didn't think it was possible, but I somehow just got even angrier!"
Archer (2009)
"- Oh, God! - They're shooting at them!"
Archer (2009)
"- but somehow, I can't find my gun! - Huh."
Archer (2009)
"Let's just give them Cherlene. That is the very definition of a win-win!"
Archer (2009)
"- Yes! - No!"
Archer (2009)
"- Why do you always ruin everything for me?! - Why do you always never shut up?!"
Archer (2009)
"And apparently I'm not good at it."
Archer (2009)
"- Shit! - Because even"
Archer (2009)
"- You mad? - Give ya three guesses, Pam."
Archer (2009)
"Wrong, Pam. Although I bet I'm not as mad as Mother's gonna be"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, tell them why that is, Pam!"
Archer (2009)
"Well, it's a good damn thing I ain't paying you to think!"
Archer (2009)
"- Wait... you do? Ow! - Yeah, you know,"
Archer (2009)
"I'm with Archer. I think those bikers just wanted to rob us, or..."
Archer (2009)
"Fix it! I will be on my tour bus"
Archer (2009)
"- putting whiskey and glue inside me. - You heard her. Fix it."
Archer (2009)
"- I'll help lickbag here change the tire. - Oh, my God."
Archer (2009)
"It's your CB handle! I told it to everybody from here to Kentucky!"
Archer (2009)
"- start to finish, what an incompetent boob. - Your words."
Archer (2009)
"- You know... - Rrrgh! Can we freaking go already?!"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, whatcha waiting for, lickbag?"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, no shit. I keep waiting for her to have a heart attack, but..."
Archer (2009)
"- The cops. - Boo."
Archer (2009)
"- Oh, shit! - Yeah, I'm gonna pull over."
Archer (2009)
"- do, run from the cops? - I want you to take that exit for the venue."
Archer (2009)
"- we'll lure them away and outrun them. - In this shit-heap?"
Archer (2009)
"- Are you nuts?! - Are you? You want them to get"
Archer (2009)
"- pulled over with 50 pounds of cocaine? - What?!"
Archer (2009)
"- Or kilos, or whatever. - You put 50 kilos of cocaine on this bus"
Archer (2009)
"- Burt Reynolds! - They don't have the coke, lickbag!"
Archer (2009)
"- We do! Right here in the Trans Am! - Oh."
Archer (2009)
"Well, then problem solved."
Archer (2009)
"and have to have her baby in prison?"
Archer (2009)
"Or because you were low on cupcakes?!"
Archer (2009)
"Does the why really matter?"
Archer (2009)
"♪ Eastbound and down ♪ ♪ Loaded up and truckin' ♪"
Archer (2009)
"♪ We got a long way to go ♪ ♪ And a short time to get... ♪"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah! Check it out, lickbag!"
Archer (2009)
"price to pay for beauty!"
Archer (2009)
"the word ironic with "you are an idiot"."
Archer (2009)
"What's ironic is that every other store"
Archer (2009)
"Yes, duh. Look, how hot am I now? Let me answer that for you."
Archer (2009)
"As balls. That's why everybody likes me now."
Archer (2009)
"Who, your trucker buddies?! They only like you because"
Archer (2009)
"- You kind of turned into a ginormous asshole. - Yeah, with ginormous big tittays."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, for... Pam, who cares?"
Archer (2009)
"That's just subcutaneous adipose tissue. Albeit a shitload of it."
Archer (2009)
"- But I can't bang you if you die from an overdose. - Aw, you want to bang me?"
Archer (2009)
"Sucks we're gonna go to prison, though."
Archer (2009)
"- Prison? But it's my first offense. - Well, except for treason,"
Archer (2009)
"but explain all that to the Brazos County judge, and maybe he'll..."
Archer (2009)
"- Not to snort, you idiot! - Well, I don't want to shoot it."
Archer (2009)
"- That seems like a pretty slippery slope! - Pam, any cocaine is"
Archer (2009)
"a slippery slope! It's the world's most addictive drug."
Archer (2009)
"- Hang on, I heard it was nicotine. - It may very well be, Pam,"
Archer (2009)
"- mention of bone-throwing? - Okay, yeah, that seems like a win-win."
Archer (2009)
"Woooooo!"
Archer (2009)
"- Wait, what? - Outlaw country!"
Archer (2009)
"No, no, no, you don't walk off after one song; you get back out there this instant."
Archer (2009)
"- What are you doing? - Uh, it's called cultivating mystique?"
Archer (2009)
"- because I personify outlaw country? - The..."
Archer (2009)
"and I want to make that little gal famous. Are you her manager, Mrs...?"
Archer (2009)
"- Oh, no, it's actually Ms.... - It's actually Mrs."
Archer (2009)
"- Will you put... - Wait, genuinely doesn't matter. Give me a call"
Archer (2009)
"- Ooh! Well, that went better than expected. - Yeah, maybe you can use"
Archer (2009)
"Yes, but how? The police were right behind you."
Archer (2009)
"- With an inverted triple Needham. - Well, it was your own"
Archer (2009)
"fault for bringing cocaine without asking, but I suppose all's well that ends well."
Archer (2009)
"- Well, except for... - Pam?"
Archer (2009)
"But what about the hundred pounds of coke you dumped on the highway?"
Archer (2009)
"- Yeah, touchy thing, bionics. You were saying? - Thank you."
Archer (2009)
"Ha! Perfect, this is absolutely perfect."
Archer (2009)
"would you, my little country songbird, like to be on Travis County Limits?"
Archer (2009)
"- Ooh, is that like Austin City Limits? - It's comparable,"
Archer (2009)
"You... would be wonderful, and it would be wonderful publicity, and..."
Archer (2009)
"- Well, maybe you saw Cheryl fly. - In a helicopter, the"
Archer (2009)
"- Oh. Oh, God, no. - Yes!"
Archer (2009)
"- We're going # Eastbound and down! # - I will never"
Archer (2009)
"5x05 - Archer Vice: Southbound and Down"
Archer (2009)
"launders it in inner-city methadone clinics, and pumps it right back"
Archer (2009)
"She's driving the bus. Mother, get on the bus."
Archer (2009)
"- For what? - Hmm, I guess Pontiac?"
Archer (2009)
"- Damn it, Cyril, slow down! - Cyril, do nothing of the sort!"
Archer (2009)
"when the Feds took ISIS, and Ron took what little I had left, so now I need to"
Archer (2009)
"- hundred pounds of coke. - What?!"
Archer (2009)
"- in Texas and everything?! - Well, not exactly, or at all, but, Pam, come on."
Archer (2009)
"Your handle is Snowball?! Like Jerry Reed's character in the Smokey-verse?!"
Archer (2009)
"Hey, treebeard! Take me with you! You can do unspeakable"
Archer (2009)
"- Cyril, do not stop this bus! - Okay!"
Archer (2009)
"Seriously."
Archer (2009)
"- Lana, Lana, Lana! - Thank you, Cyril, I have eyeballs!"
Archer (2009)
"- don't do that! That's not what good buddies do! - Okay, first of all,"
Archer (2009)
"- you have wildly misjudged our relationship! - Archer!"
Archer (2009)
"The quite-soon-to-be-number-one country singer in America?!"
Archer (2009)
"What?! I mean, that's just absolutely crazy. We have nothing."
Archer (2009)
"- Oh, my God, I can't feel my face! - Gee, Pam, I wonder if that's got"
Archer (2009)
"And then back up a sec. You're endangering your life for beauty?"
Archer (2009)
"Wait a minute, we're in Travis county. Why does their car"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah! Holy coke snacks."
Archer (2009)
"Good night, Travis County! There will be no encore!"
Archer (2009)
"It was too heavy."
Archer (2009)
"- And, wow, maybe I have aphasia. - Where do you think you're going?"
Archer (2009)
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