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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S05E05)

"- hush. Cherlene? - I don't know. I guess."
Archer (2009)
"- wonderful. - All right. When is it?"
Archer (2009)
"Tapes tomorrow night, but we should leave today. I don't want you"
Archer (2009)
"- flying the same day you're performing. - Oh, don't worry about that."
Archer (2009)
"- Well, but... - Because Cherlene don't fly."
Archer (2009)
"- space shuttle... - Cyril choke-banged you on a blimp?"
Archer (2009)
"- Oh, come on, we were all thinking it. - What, how are you all"
Archer (2009)
"I booked Cherlene on Travis County Limits, and..."
Archer (2009)
"- But it's tomorrow night and she refuses to fly. - Wait, really?"
Archer (2009)
"- that CB McHaul toy truck he wanted for his birthday. - Wha...? He was 30!"
Archer (2009)
"- can't put a price on free advertising. - No, they don't,"
Archer (2009)
"- and free this isn't. - Exactly. How much are they"
Archer (2009)
"anything. All they do is suck money in. They take our taxes..."
Archer (2009)
"- This quit being funny two hours ago! - It's not supposed to be funny."
Archer (2009)
"Well, I guess it would be, if A: I weren't the world's greatest spy."
Archer (2009)
"We're talking about Texas. Somebody, somewhere, wants enough"
Archer (2009)
"- Jesus, Pam, I was kidding. - Duh, me too, lickbag."
Archer (2009)
"Cyril! Goddamn it!"
Archer (2009)
"- I'm-I'm sorry! - What the hell is going on up here?!"
Archer (2009)
"- I don't know how Pam's doing it. - Seriously?"
Archer (2009)
"dozen cupcakes, a bunch of truck stops."
Archer (2009)
"- Wha...? No, lickbag! - It was a reasonable assumption."
Archer (2009)
"- a chain gang knocking on your back door. - Bikers?"
Archer (2009)
"but neither are people who need a roll of quarters to take a shower!"
Archer (2009)
"It's not just a shower, it's more communal, like a Japanese onsen, or..."
Archer (2009)
"- What the heck are you looking for? - Gun!"
Archer (2009)
"And I'd love nothing more than to shoot back, Pam,"
Archer (2009)
"- For the love of God, just pull over! - Uh, okay."
Archer (2009)
"Are you, like, sure you brought it?"
Archer (2009)
"Okay, so, apparently a big thing at truck stops is a game called craps."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, bitch, that's how I roll!"
Archer (2009)
"- Oh shi... - ...it!"
Archer (2009)
"No? No? No?"
Archer (2009)
"- when I tell her this was all your fault! - Aw, come on, Archer,"
Archer (2009)
"- And you're lucky I don't have my gun! - And just why the hell don't you?!"
Archer (2009)
"- Oh, come on, please? - I...!"
Archer (2009)
"- I-I didn't think I would need it. - You didn't think?!"
Archer (2009)
"kidnapping idea when we have more time, but she still has"
Archer (2009)
"- a show in two hours and we've still got... - I think about a hundred miles."
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, you guys chill on the bus."
Archer (2009)
"Good buddy."
Archer (2009)
"Whew! Okay, that's got it."
Archer (2009)
"- Well, it took you long enough. - Yeah, Mother, nine whole minutes"
Archer (2009)
"- Ten-four. - So, I think we may have a problem."
Archer (2009)
"- Not Pam. - Yay!"
Archer (2009)
"- No! No! Curtain is in ten minutes! - What do you want me to"
Archer (2009)
"Yeah, good, you guys get out of here;"
Archer (2009)
"- without my permission?! Sterling?! - You have to press the button."
Archer (2009)
"I switched the coke in Little Rock, 'cause I was worried that..."
Archer (2009)
"- Cherlene wrote a song about us. - What? She didn't write a..."
Archer (2009)
"- That's pretty ironic, huh? - No, Pam, once again you're confusing"
Archer (2009)
"- we drive by is a gun shop! - Oh. Okay, so then what's satire?"
Archer (2009)
"Nobody really knows! Hang on!"
Archer (2009)
"- you have coke, Pam. - Well, and the snowballs, but..."
Archer (2009)
"And for what it's worth, we all kind of liked you the way you were."
Archer (2009)
"- Pam! - Jeez, okay! But you're gonna owe me!"
Archer (2009)
"Woo-hooo! Thank you!"
Archer (2009)
"- Outlaw country! Woooooo! - Howdy, Tony Foti, Stringer Records,"
Archer (2009)
"when y'all are ready to make some gold records. Yee-haw!"
Archer (2009)
"- Wait, what? - Sterling!"
Archer (2009)
"and we totally got away. So, all set."
Archer (2009)
"- All's well that ends well? - Oh, right."
Archer (2009)
"- What?! - Pam!"
Archer (2009)
"Okay, specs are all in the green. So, let me just reboot the"
Archer (2009)
"Well? Well, you could've done this weeks ago!"
Archer (2009)
"- So it's about goddamn time! - Ooh, hang on a sec?"
Archer (2009)
"- for once again giving me the precious gift of legs. - You're welcome."
Archer (2009)
"Now, if you will excuse me, I need to remove my underwear with a blowtorch."
Archer (2009)
"- Cherlene! - Ow! God! Come on!"
Archer (2009)
"Airplane air is so dry, plus you're breathing in God knows"
Archer (2009)
"what those tuberculars in coach are... Excuse me?!"
Archer (2009)
"- I don't fly. - I... but-but I've seen you fly."
Archer (2009)
"- so goddamn loud? - Could you not find a punch bowl?"
Archer (2009)
"- Is that like...? - It's comparable!"
Archer (2009)
"So you've only got 24 hours to drive to Texas?"
Archer (2009)
"- Well, 36 but... - But after we get a bus"
Archer (2009)
"- Archer? - Lana!"
Archer (2009)
"Sterling! What are you talking about?"
Archer (2009)
"understand his idiotic fascination with all this Burt Reynolds"
Archer (2009)
"- Smokey trucker nonsense. - I think part of it is because you didn't get him"
Archer (2009)
"- And words fail me. I have no words. - How about"
Archer (2009)
"- How about a Jacuzzi, bitches? Woooooo! - You know what they say..."
Archer (2009)
"- paying Cherlene? - It's public television, they don't pay"
Archer (2009)
"Bolshevik lesbian couples! Then PBS mixes it all in with their huge N.E.A. grants,"
Archer (2009)
"- out to pro-abortion, super-PACs! - Still no words."
Archer (2009)
"- Lana, you're riding with me. - In what?"
Archer (2009)
"- The what? - Okay, first of all..."
Archer (2009)
"- How much did that cost? - Well, again, it's advertising, so..."
Archer (2009)
"- God. - And where are you going?"
Archer (2009)
"Well, speaking for the tiny, delicate life blossoming inside me, nowhere in"
Archer (2009)
"snappy dialogue with me, underscored by sexual attraction?"
Archer (2009)
"I'm so angry right now I can't even..."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, goddamn it! Did you fart in that?"
Archer (2009)
"- Are you ever? - She said, single and"
Archer (2009)
"Well, Krieger said he needed Ray's help on some sort of project."
Archer (2009)
"So shut up and drive the damn bus!"
Archer (2009)
"Sorry, I'm a bit stressed out about Cherlene getting a record deal."
Archer (2009)
"- Right, and your 10 percent of it. - Or 50 or whatever."
Archer (2009)
"Who are you, Colonel Mom Parker?"
Archer (2009)
"- Nothing? - Meh."
Archer (2009)
"And not that I care what any of you think, about anything, but I lost everything"
Archer (2009)
"who, unbelievably, is even worse at this than at spying."
Archer (2009)
"Hey, so... yeah, hi, uh, I think maybe somebody's"
Archer (2009)
"holding down the talk-button thingy?"
Archer (2009)
"- Uh... oh! Uh, sorry, Archer. - Exactly the opposite"
Archer (2009)
"- of how it works. - What? Oh."
Archer (2009)
"- Uh, sorry, Archer. - Ten-ten-four, good buddy."
Archer (2009)
"- Ow! Whose ring is that, the Pope's?! - Ouch!"
Archer (2009)
"- Shut up. - Seriously though, I'm sorry you heard"
Archer (2009)
"her say that. That's got to be a real knee to the old emotional nut sack."
Archer (2009)
"- Eh. - Shut up,"
Archer (2009)
"Maybe we'll get lucky, find an entire town that wants to commit suicide."
Archer (2009)
"Wonder if there's a statewide database of towns with sucky high school"
Archer (2009)
"football teams cross-indexed with towns a black person just moved to."
Archer (2009)
"Well, but see if there is one, just"
Archer (2009)
"- for shits and giggles. - Um, so, hey, speaking of..."
Archer (2009)
"The hat fart was technically a shart?"
Archer (2009)
"- I must've dozed off! - Really? You don't just hate signs?"
Archer (2009)
"booze, and soft cheeses, I'm also supposed to abstain from bus crashes!"
Archer (2009)
"Woooooo!!"
Archer (2009)
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