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Clips from Parks and Recreation - Beauty Pageant (S02E02)

"Hey, Craig."
Parks and Recreation
"I have been robbed twice."
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"As we all know, Ron is recovering from his hernia surgery."
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"So I got him flowers from all of us."
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"So everybody needs to pitch in, like, $90."
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"$90?"
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"Yes, because I ordered a beautiful bouquet of daffodils,"
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"Donna, you're definitely getting some."
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"Jerry? I don't know. I'm not sure. Time will tell."
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"Also, I'm leaving early tonight"
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"because I am a judge in the Miss Pawnee Beauty Pageant."
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"But I want to be a judge."
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"I can't believe you like beauty pageants."
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"April, whoever Miss Pawnee is,"
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"No. What's disgusting is the Glitter Factory."
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"Hey!"
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"Oh, my. Thank you so much, April. Wow!"
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"I just signed up for the Miss Pawnee Beauty Pageant."
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"That's wonderful."
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"Beauty pageants are idiotic."
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"But I found out that the winner"
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"of the Miss Pawnee Pageant gets $600."
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"I can be idiotic for $600."
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"So, are you gonna vote for me, sister?"
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"April, it's unethical for me to show you favoritism."
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"You and I are like family."
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"The coffee is $7."
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"Yes. Right. Of course."
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"Just bump that clown."
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"What? How?"
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"But if you don't call in favors to look at women in bikinis"
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"what the hell do you call in favors for?"
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"Hey. Hey."
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"What you doing in these parts?"
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"I just came by to see the murals."
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"Yeah, this one's a beauty."
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"that were pretty rough and tumble in Pawnee."
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"The original title of this was "A Lively Fisting.""
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"She's got him by the hair pretty good there."
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"Leslie's really cool, and she's smart."
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"Hey, Leslie,"
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"Yeah?"
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"Yeah. Absolutely. Let me check my schedule."
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"Let's see."
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"Yeah."
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"That's Madeleine Albright."
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"That's her name? 'Cause I usually just call mine "Nana.""
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"No, that's Madeleine Albright."
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"The first female Secretary of State."
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"Okay, so, not... That's not your grandma, then."
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"All right. I got it."
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"Just lock it in later?"
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"Yeah. That's a good idea. Okay."
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"Ladies."
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"You want to hear something awful?"
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"He didn't even know who Madeleine Albright was."
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"Madeleine Albright, the first female Secretary of State."
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"I just don't know if I can date someone"
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"Hey. Hey."
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"Weird question for you. Are you handy? Like, can you fix things?"
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"Well, what's broken? My shower."
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"Yes. Yes. Amazing."
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"Great. Well, I'll see you tonight,"
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"Okay."
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"Hello, fellow judges."
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"I am Judge Leslie Knope and this is my colleague, Tom Haverford."
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"He's also gonna be a judge."
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"Hi. Jessica Wicks, Miss Pawnee 1994."
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"I recognized you right away."
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"And may I say that you look even more beautiful now"
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"than you did when you won the crown."
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"Ooh, I like you!"
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"Hello. Ray Holstead, Ray's Sandwich Place."
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"Yes, of course, Ray. How do you do? Fine."
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"I'm Charles Woliner."
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"Well, Tom and I are very happy to be here."
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"And I'm sure between the five of us,"
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"intelligent, modern and forward-thinking woman"
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"each and every one of you. God bless."
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"First up, please welcome April Ludgate."
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"Hello, I'm April Ludgate."
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"I like people,"
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"And Pawnee is my favorite place in the world!"
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"Next up, please welcome Susan Gleever."
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"I play classical piano, and I volunteer at the Children's Hospital."
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"Thank you, Susan."
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"Next, Trish lanetta."
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"I'm 22 years old, I've been on YouTube."
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"I just... I love to hang out with my friends, I love to laugh,"
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"I love the summertime and going to the beach,"
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"and I love wearing bikinis at the beach"
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"with everyone there. I just want everyone..."
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"Well, you know, they can't all be winners."
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"Are y'all having a good time?"
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"And now it's time for our ever popular talent competition,"
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"Here we have Leslie's custom scorecard, with categories such as,"
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"fruitful gestures, je ne sais quoi,"
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"and something called "The Naomi Wolf Factor.""
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"She's not even twirling the baton."
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"Oh, celebrity impressions. That's wild. Wild stuff."
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"Yeah."
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"This is an impression of my sister."
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"Hi, I'm Natalie. I love Ritalin and have low self-esteem."
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"Thank you."
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"Women should do everything. Check out my four-color pen."
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"Hey, everybody. Listen up while I talk about some really important stuff."
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"Parks, parks, parks, parks, parks, parks, Michelle Obama, parks."
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"Ooh"
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"But in my mind, Susan is the perfect Miss Pawnee."
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"she has a real sense of..."
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"Hey, hey! Over here."
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"Good."
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"I hooked your toilet up to your shower."
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"Yes. Excellent."
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"Andy?"
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"What?"
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"Oh, my God. Oh, my God, you live down here."
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"What? I can't be at my house"
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"and see my ex-boyfriend living in a hole in my backyard like a gopher."
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"That's so weird, Andy."
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