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Clips from Parks and Recreation - Beauty Pageant (S02E02)

"Good morning, everyone. A couple of announcements."
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"from a website, after a few glasses of wine."
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"So, Tom, I think you might be getting some daffodils, too."
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"Yes, and it's a responsibility I take very seriously."
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"And as a judge, let me assure you that this year's Miss Pawnee"
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"What? Talent and Poise."
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"It's the strip club by the VA hospital. I have some meetings there."
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"Do not go to the Glitter Factory."
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"So, I was just at The Grind and I thought you might want an iced mocha"
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"with extra, extra whipped cream."
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"You're welcome."
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"Oh, by the way, completely unrelated,"
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"You know, that is why I decided to become a judge."
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"So that awesome girls like you,"
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"who are not, you know, classically hot,"
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"can be rewarded for their intelligence and savvy."
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"Awesome. Thank you so much, I owe you. All right. Peace."
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"I had to call in a few favors."
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"Hey. Hey."
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"This one's pretty amazing."
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"You know, in the 1880s, there were a few years"
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"This depicts kind of a famous fight between Reverend Bradley"
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"Yeah."
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"It's a little intimidating."
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"To tell you the truth, I didn't come here to look at the murals."
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"I came to ask her on a date."
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"I really like you."
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"And I was wondering"
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"if maybe you'd want to get a cup of coffee or something, sometime."
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"Is that your grandma?"
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"How's that schedule looking?"
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"Yeah. Talk later about it?"
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"Who? Not you, too."
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"No, no, no. Who didn't know?"
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"I mean, could you date someone"
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"It's leaky, low pressure, just all around terrible."
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"Easy. You want me to come over after work?"
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"I will cook you a cheap, quick dinner"
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"we will choose the most well-rounded,"
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"to represent our fine town."
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"Right, Tom? Tom?"
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"You don't believe me? Watch."
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"34 C, 36 B, 34 B, 34 D."
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"I'm just kidding. You're perfect,"
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"I'm 20 years old."
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"She's good."
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"Hi, y'all. I'm Trish."
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"where our ladies will each demonstrate their excellent skills."
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"And our first one up is Trish lanetta, whose talent is baton."
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"My girl Trish is talented."
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"I'm going to do impressions."
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"This is an impression of my boss, Leslie Knope."
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"It's so good, it's so good It's so good, it's so good, it's so good"
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"No, Susan isn't a perfect 10."
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"Her values are strong, her commitment to her job is very admirable,"
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"How's it going in here?"
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"That's what you wanted, right?"
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"Ann! Hey! What's up? What are you doing?"
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"What? Yes."
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"Oh, my God. I can't believe this is happening!"
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"You've been here a whole week?"
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"Oh, I guess... I guess that's the office you were telling me about"
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"Listen. Are we gonna talk about anything other than the lies that I told you?"
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"'cause I have some people coming over."
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"So, why don't you call first next time?"
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"You know the way out."
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"Yes, I have a question for the hot one."
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"First off, I just want to say I'm a little bit surprised,"
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"You truly are a beautiful, beautiful woman."
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"You're so funny."
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"No offense to anyone out there,"
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"and not "Their-merica." Thank you."
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"I'm sorry, you don't think it's weird"
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"in the pit outside my house?"
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"It's not ideal."
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"I saw in the medicine cabinet."
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"Dude! Yeah, I peeked."
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"Have you not been listening to anything I just said?"
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"I don't know, it's just... It's raining outside,"
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"and he's living in a pit, you know?"
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"our next Miss Pawnee, a winner of $600 in gift certificates"
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"No, I didn't win."
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"until we go back out there?"
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"And I don't think we should rush this, you know?"
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"Well, take Susan, for example. I think..."
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"is going to represent the ideal woman for a year."
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"in South Central Indiana look up to."
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"I'm a judge, so I don't want to sound partial."
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"But Trish will win this pageant over my dead body."
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"Look, I am the only one here"
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"Trish is not the brightest bulb in the bunch."
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"Is Mark the guy who's "fixing your shower"?"
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"I don't know about you, Mark, but I've seen a ton of porn."
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"Don't let me interrupt your date."
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"Okay, so, it's still 3-2 for Trish."
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"These are amazing. Do you..."
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"A good chef never reveals her secrets."
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"Mmm. Memories."
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"And now it's me."
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"Excuse me, everyone. Why don't we just take a moment"
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"Susan and I will continue on until the women of Pawnee"
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"And, Trish, I may not have voted for you,"
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"but now is the time for us to come together."
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"One, two, three! One, two, three!"
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"Are we doing anything in the way of dessert or coffee?"
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"We had dinner! I got to see her!"
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"A good day."
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"Die Hard."
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"We left it kind of open-ended. We did."
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"and just get some clearance on this."
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"I like you, too."
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"If you want to get some coffee, here's my number."
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"Hey. I got your message."
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"Look, I'd love to go out with you. How about Friday for dinner?"
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"and Condoleezza Rice and Nancy Pelosi,"
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"are they gonna join us?"
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"Okay, well, good, 'cause I don't happen to agree with"
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"Miss Pelosi's views"
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"I'm constantly giving one of my keys."
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"Yeah. I just happened to have a spare."
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