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Clips from Peep Show - Threeism (S09E09)

"# And I'm so hot"
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"MARK: 'Hmm."
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"So, just to be clear, for my records."
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"Yes. Yes, I believe that."
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"You and Pej?"
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"Of course you do. But..."
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"Like in the first happy days of a relationship?"
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"'The gay couple. I live with a gay couple."
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"Except I'm not that intelligent,"
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"So, thank you... 'The one that got away."
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"'Lovely April."
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"Um, things haven't been great between me and Joe lately."
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"you do your thing, yeah, and let him do his thing."
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"That's not what I expected you to say. I'm a straight-shooter."
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"'No, don't call him!'"
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"'"but that's all ancient history! Ha-ha-ha!""
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"My pleasure. 'This is my chance."
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"'And I'm doing nothing."
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"'I am now, this instant,"
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"Kilroy started Veritas. Crazy times."
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"I'm rambling. But how would you like to have a glass of wine?"
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"I have to say, this is the first time I've ever betrayed the ethics"
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"you should probably go. 'Oh, I'd love to hang out with Joe,"
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"'I'm creating my own work! I'm living off my own mess."
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"And I ain't afraid of no snakes!"
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"'An Indiana Jones reference mixed with a Ghostbusters reference! I love you,"
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"'April Danecroft.'"
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"I couldn't help noticing that your book's co-written."
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"That's my husband. 'Shit!'"
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"'Of course. Of course she's married.'"
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"'For the moment I replay nightly.'"
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"but that was about it, as I recall."
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"Well, I'm free tomorrow."
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"I mean, that is the date on which it shall happen."
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"'Such as...cheesy pasta.'"
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"BLENDER WHIRS"
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"of the capitalist dictatorship. What the hell are you even doing?"
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"April from Darty's coming over, as it happens."
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"You finally tracked her down and you're luring her back to your lair"
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"Finally I'm rubbing off on you. Jez,"
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"She's a serious academic historian"
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"anyone has ever received! Wow."
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"I could blink at her as she came through the door."
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"This is what real friends are for."
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"Oh!"
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"DOORBELL RINGS"
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"Megan. Hey, Jezebel."
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"'Oh, no! Joe in the bedroom, Megan in the hallway!"
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"It's just... Megan."
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"'How? Fire? Use a lighter to start a little fire in the hall?'"
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"There we go."
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"Four and a half hours of tears and sweat and pain"
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"'I promise we're house-trained."
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"That might not be so convenient."
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"You didn't mention the husband, you dark, filthy, dirty horse."
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"Lettuce!"
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"That's not Nigella. That's not even Ainsley, mate."
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"Right, OK! I like it that way. They can't prove otherwise."
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"HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY Listen, Mark."
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"DOORBELL RINGS 'Oh, I can't do this.'"
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"'Don't blink, don't blink.' Hi, Mark."
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"This is Angus."
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"'Just got to keep my eyes firmly open."
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"So, you and April were at Dartmouth together?"
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"'Ahh! Lovely, lovely blink."
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"Also, Megan, would you happen to have a small make-up bag about your person?"
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"and Megan thinks Joe's fucking around on her."
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"Oh, that must be really hard. I'm so sorry for you, Jez(!)"
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"So, if they find out about each other"
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"then I don't see that they can make much of a fuss."
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"Er, yes. That's s-something I'm doing."
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"I do the bulk of the writing,"
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"'How can I steal his wife?' These aren't fashionable subjects."
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"LAUGHTER 'Ah, yeah, that's right."
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"I'll see what I can do. Did Jesus have..."
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"who are like, who gives a fuck about the real issues...?"
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"The issue of whether Jesus had a cat?"
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"What is it? Um... It's Moroccan."
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"I'd hate to call you a racist at my dinner party,"
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"If you're comparing Hitler and Jesus, I'm afraid I'm out."
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"'Naughty, naughty Megan."
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"'I like him loads, but I'm her life coach."
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"'Joe? No, don't cross the streams."
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"My boyfriend is fucking my life coach. No, Megan."
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"I might leave them to it."
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"'Ohh, the Corrigan stare."
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"'Hello!'"
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"'Stop actually rubbing my hands.'"
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"Corfu? Er, it's nothing."
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"But when I picked him up, there were a lot of Nutella jars in his recycling."
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"'Out of bread and crackers."
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"'Just need to state it with conviction.'"
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"It's time for cheese and lettuce. 'Most natural combination in the world.'"
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"A very respectful, very boundaried, rather horny triangle."
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"My God. Is that what you want?"
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"Of course. Of course you do."
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"but I might need to make a move home, so, Joe..."
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"Oh, I thought Joe was staying here tonight,"
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"um...according to the guidelines."
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"Right, but you spent last night together."
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"Um... "On no two consecutive nights shall..." Et cetera, et cetera."
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"Right. 'Naughty postman."
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"'They taste good, don't they?'"
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"Like you and April."
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"No, no, you knew we were humping when we humped."
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"Angus loves you, but...he doesn't know if he respects you."
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"I need some space to think."
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"'That's right, off you fuck.'"
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"Bye, Mark."
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"Yeah, the fighting phase seems to be ending, actually."
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"I feel like I want to talk."
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"'and scribbled Cheddar and talk it all through for ever,"
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"GRUNTING"
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"'Once upon a time, I might have woken to the sound of a song thrush."
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"'Now it's a couple of guys pounding the living daylights out of each other."
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"'It's just, when Jeremy had sex with women, I hated the noise,"
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"'but at least there was something in it for me."
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"You're sleeping with Joe regularly now."
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"Can't handle it. I can handle it, I'm fine with it."
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"Your word, not mine. Sure, but..."
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