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Clips from MacGyver - Cigar Cutter (S01E01)

"One good dog would've taken care of all that."
MacGyver
"Anubis there, he was part dog."
MacGyver
"Really? That's one ugly mutt."
MacGyver
"Stop it."
MacGyver
"It's 3,000 years old."
MacGyver
"I'm glad you can find the humor in this."
MacGyver
"Now, wait a second. Mac, Mac."
MacGyver
"Don't-don't touch this one, okay?"
MacGyver
"It looks like the Ark of the Covenant."
MacGyver
"Dirty bomb. Just like Thornton said."
MacGyver
"It's fine."
MacGyver
"It's Bozer."
MacGyver
"That's, like, the fifth time he's called."
MacGyver
"I know."
MacGyver
"Well, answer it. It might be important."
MacGyver
"And this isn't?"
MacGyver
"You might be right. It's a... it's a video call."
MacGyver
"About time you picked up."
MacGyver
"Any chance that, uh,"
MacGyver
"- I'm busy right now. - Man, so am I, man."
MacGyver
"I, um... I forgot to do that."
MacGyver
"Just give me your Amazon password and I'll order more."
MacGyver
"I don't know. They must've tracked your cell phone."
MacGyver
"You just did our job for us."
MacGyver
"Unfortunately, you won't be alive to see the thousands of people"
MacGyver
"you've killed with that bluff."
MacGyver
"it'll have an even bigger impact than we could have imagined."
MacGyver
"Yo, Mac!"
MacGyver
"or flambéed in that vortex of death, Cairo."
MacGyver
"I'm not really hungry."
MacGyver
"Don't worry about it. You will be..."
MacGyver
"when you see the giant Egyptian pyramid of food"
MacGyver
"And, look, baba ghanoush."
MacGyver
"Remember this?"
MacGyver
"Is that the letter you sent to your old man?"
MacGyver
"Yeah. Never made it to him."
MacGyver
"Looks like it's been halfway around the world and back."
MacGyver
"Exactly."
MacGyver
"I mean, I'm the one who told you to write the letter"
MacGyver
"in the first place, right?"
MacGyver
"start fresh tomorrow."
MacGyver
"What do you say?"
MacGyver
"we work, but on one day,"
MacGyver
"we don't."
MacGyver
"Because it's bad luck."
MacGyver
"- Learn how to read. - I know how to..."
MacGyver
"Dr. Milton Zito."
MacGyver
"He'll be working on a research project in our lab."
MacGyver
"What kind of research project?"
MacGyver
"- That's classified. - That's classified."
MacGyver
"I look forward to working with all of you."
MacGyver
"Especially you, Mr. MacGyver."
MacGyver
"In an age of specialists, it's rare to meet a Renaissance man."
MacGyver
"Oh. Welcome to the Phoenix Foundation..."
MacGyver
"Jack Dalton."
MacGyver
"I'm the guy who made the Kessel Run"
MacGyver
"Yeah, we keep telling him that."
MacGyver
"Just like we keep telling him monster hologram chess isn't a thing."
MacGyver
"- Not yet. - Just because you wink"
MacGyver
"doesn't make it a thing."
MacGyver
"and make sure he has everything he needs?"
MacGyver
"has the best candy, but be careful up there."
MacGyver
"Cal from Cryptography will talk your ear off."
MacGyver
"I did a semester at film school"
MacGyver
"The artificial intelligence project you mentioned."
MacGyver
"- It's amazing. - It ain't Westworld,"
MacGyver
"but, uh, we do our best."
MacGyver
"Like your idea to ask Lil out for sushi."
MacGyver
"let's keep that one between us, all right?"
MacGyver
"but we're still working on boundaries."
MacGyver
"So after a week of interrogation,"
MacGyver
"Or what the hell that means."
MacGyver
"Yeah, I'm gonna have to stop you both right there."
MacGyver
"And you don't know this, Matty,"
MacGyver
"- but today... - ... Is the anniversary"
MacGyver
"- Yes. - Just suck it up."
MacGyver
"- Put your big boy pants on. - Okay."
MacGyver
"I have a Detective Molina on the phone from New York City."
MacGyver
"Put him on speaker."
MacGyver
"Detective, how can I help you?"
MacGyver
"Ms. Webber, I'm reaching out regarding a homicide case"
MacGyver
"I caught last night."
MacGyver
"- which is why I'm contacting you. - Ooh, very bad luck."
MacGyver
"It's very impressive."
MacGyver
"It's a new polymer I've been working on."
MacGyver
"Moves like real skin."
MacGyver
"And when we searched his e-mails,"
MacGyver
"we found a one-way plane ticket."
MacGyver
"Uh, Dr. Milton Zito."
MacGyver
"Go."
MacGyver
"It's Cairo Day!"
MacGyver
"Medical attention needed. Medical attention needed."
MacGyver
"Medical attention needed."
MacGyver
"- Hang on, buddy. Hang on. - Zito."
MacGyver
"Good news is, I think the knife missed his vital organs;"
MacGyver
"if I don't seal this wound right now, he's gonna bleed out."
MacGyver
"- Find Zito. - Yeah, I'm on it."
MacGyver
"Yeah, it's Jack Dalton. We have a hostile on site."
MacGyver
"Shut the building down right now."
MacGyver
"I'll find him."
MacGyver
"Riley."
MacGyver
"Go."
MacGyver
"- You see that? - See what?"
MacGyver
"She was holding it."
MacGyver
"I know, buddy."
MacGyver
"Mac, I'm just gonna come right out and say it."
MacGyver
"I never got stabbed flipping burgers."
MacGyver
"What do you think?"
MacGyver
"Not even once, pal."
MacGyver
"But I have no choice; I got to seal the wound."
MacGyver
"for the battlefield."
MacGyver
"When the two chemicals get inside the wound, they harden."
MacGyver
"- It's fascinating. - N-Never mind."
MacGyver
"Very impressive, Mr. MacGyver."
MacGyver
"Heads up, this is gonna hurt."
MacGyver
"A lot."
MacGyver
"Might I suggest"
MacGyver
"using one of the rolling tables as a gurney?"
MacGyver
"Think Sparky's gunning for your job."
MacGyver
"It's not a bad idea."
MacGyver
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