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Clips from Archer (2009) - Animation (S05E05)

"Lana. Are you crazy?"
Archer (2009)
"Can you believe it is so amazing? Everyone, toast."
Archer (2009)
"Whoa!"
Archer (2009)
"- Presidente, this is no time for toast. - Wha...No, not "toast," a toast."
Archer (2009)
"Calm down, Colonel Panic. Listen-- the shelling has stopped."
Archer (2009)
"So we can scrooch down behind it."
Archer (2009)
"- The shelling has stopped. - Oh, did you just say that?"
Archer (2009)
"- Goddamn it. Is everybody okay? - Yes."
Archer (2009)
"- I mean, yes, what? What are we doing? - What are you doing?"
Archer (2009)
"- Yeah, right. - Really."
Archer (2009)
"- But, sir, I don't have enough troops. - Oh, my God, always"
Archer (2009)
"Unloading the one million record albums you bought from this gringa."
Archer (2009)
"I... that's..."
Archer (2009)
"- Do you have any idea how humiliating this is? - Do you have any idea how humiliating this is?"
Archer (2009)
"I just had..."
Archer (2009)
"The gun went off for, like, no reason."
Archer (2009)
"Ten million dollars! On... on cowboy music?"
Archer (2009)
"Speaking of killing people."
Archer (2009)
"some Bee Gees."
Archer (2009)
"- Wait, so does what? - What, did you just want mouth-to-mouth?"
Archer (2009)
"Cyril, you wear Kevlar every single time we go to Latin America."
Archer (2009)
"No, actually, here it goes. I'm leaving."
Archer (2009)
"- noticed, this place is crawling with rebels. - And not the good kind"
Archer (2009)
"- Oh. Well now I feel like an asshole. - When do you not?"
Archer (2009)
"- Almost always. I really like me. - Baffling."
Archer (2009)
"When was that supposed to happen? After a lovely dinner with him"
Archer (2009)
"- What are you talking about? - I'm talking about Archer, who just..."
Archer (2009)
"And it's not the only thing. Why can't you keep it in your pants?"
Archer (2009)
"- Why would you have sex with a maid? - That doesn't merit a response, Mother,"
Archer (2009)
"- It's Espionage 101. - I know, it's pretty ironic."
Archer (2009)
"- Ow, ow, Lana, quit it, ow. Ow, goddamn it. - Asshole."
Archer (2009)
"Clone bone!"
Archer (2009)
"- To all of it. - You sure? Because I have this very clear"
Archer (2009)
"- Wait. No. I remember blood on snow. - Right?!"
Archer (2009)
"Is... is that what I think it is?"
Archer (2009)
"And if there's one thing I love more than triumph,"
Archer (2009)
"Meh, heh, heh. I'm a hateful shrew! And this is my idiot son, Archer."
Archer (2009)
"Jorge Washington-- which, apparently, I've been mispronouncing wrong this whole"
Archer (2009)
"not ratified by the requisite number of American states until 1951, so..."
Archer (2009)
"As plates?"
Archer (2009)
"What, in the name of all that is stupid, do you think you're doing?"
Archer (2009)
"- Priceless. - But worthless... if you damage it."
Archer (2009)
"Or "adequacy" as in "Hey, stupid, you just destroyed $40 million"?!"
Archer (2009)
"As in neither, you dummy. This is how you steal a painting."
Archer (2009)
"Uh, no, not a huge Steve McQueen fan."
Archer (2009)
"Oh. Now that is a vehicle. Hmm."
Archer (2009)
"You idiot!"
Archer (2009)
"Well, I just assume it was about that ad with the suitcase and the gorilla."
Archer (2009)
"- There, I found her. - Cherlene, please!"
Archer (2009)
"- I-I will divorce my wife. - You what?!"
Archer (2009)
"Are you talking about your balls?"
Archer (2009)
"the same thing I told your father! I will never give you a divorce!"
Archer (2009)
"- Oh, wait, you just did! - Wait. You can't be both!"
Archer (2009)
"- Your William Howard Taft was. - Not at the same time!"
Archer (2009)
"- Well, if anything, that's heaven. - And you can die knowing"
Archer (2009)
"- that the last man inside of me was Archer. - What?"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, uh, yeah, so about that..."
Archer (2009)
"Archer, I think she's... I think she's..."
Archer (2009)
"- I was gonna say "help," but... - Shut up. Did she say"
Archer (2009)
"she used to be married to Calderón's father?"
Archer (2009)
"- Mother, give me my gun. - I don't have it-- I threw it away."
Archer (2009)
"- How dirty do you think my junk is? - As dirty as if it were made of dirt"
Archer (2009)
"and then got dropped in some different dirt and then Pig-Pen came along and"
Archer (2009)
"- Now, then... - Ow, ow, ow, ow. Stop it. Stop it."
Archer (2009)
"- My what?! - Sorry, hang on. Juliana, I divorce you, but also"
Archer (2009)
"Are you...? Wait, which is it?"
Archer (2009)
"- admits he was wrong. - Yeah, 'cause that makes it all better."
Archer (2009)
"In which case, I would not put a lot of money"
Archer (2009)
"- you-you cut-rate Castro! - Ha! I don't need them."
Archer (2009)
"I have been bluffing the whole time, look."
Archer (2009)
"our counterattack. They are headed for the palace."
Archer (2009)
"- Uh, what's that? - Cyril?"
Archer (2009)
"Sorry? I still couldn't hear you."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, boy."
Archer (2009)
"Woooo! Outlaw country! Outlaw co..."
Archer (2009)
"- A toast. - It is even less the time for that."
Archer (2009)
"- Why were you in the butler's pantry? - I-I was, uh, I was hiding because I was scared."
Archer (2009)
"Well, fairly. But I-I mean, I found a paper bag in there, and I did some deep, uh..."
Archer (2009)
"- Breathing? - Also, yes, so, hey, what's the plan?"
Archer (2009)
"We must counterattack."
Archer (2009)
"- at the airport, so... - No, they are not sitting idle, they are..."
Archer (2009)
"- Wait, what? - Non-surprise."
Archer (2009)
"- I thought people liked me. - I thought we were broke."
Archer (2009)
"- Inappropes. - Cherlene, wait."
Archer (2009)
"Well, now it's your turn to be humiliated, Gustavo. Because for your information,"
Archer (2009)
"Oh, my God."
Archer (2009)
"Surprise."
Archer (2009)
"is Bravo Twelve. Redeploy your troops to sector four."
Archer (2009)
"- Well, I am redeploying to my rooms. - Well, I am"
Archer (2009)
"- redeploying to my room. - My God, why was she so upset?"
Archer (2009)
"Well, I think any time a spouse makes a major purchase without discussing it"
Archer (2009)
"- first... - I meant Cherlene, you pea-wit."
Archer (2009)
"Why does she care? Most singers would kill to have a record go platinum."
Archer (2009)
"Oh, my God, okay, first of all, he... Actually, yeah, Pam, let's hear"
Archer (2009)
"- Ha, ha, ha, ha. - Stayin' alive. Holy shit, that works!"
Archer (2009)
"- Agh. - Yeah, so does Kevlar."
Archer (2009)
"- I can explain. - What is this, Meatballs?"
Archer (2009)
"- You little... - Racist. What?"
Archer (2009)
"- Because every time you shoot me. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, not every time!"
Archer (2009)
"Mm, like, three out of four, tops. You big baby."
Archer (2009)
"- Also, speaking of... - Ugh, here it comes."
Archer (2009)
"- Ray, airport, let's go. - Have you lost your mind?"
Archer (2009)
"- Ow, ow, goddamn it! - Not that. Lana, in case you haven't"
Archer (2009)
"with a big rebel flag on it, flinging empty longnecks at people."
Archer (2009)
"- Yeah, those aren't actually the good kind, either. - Now who's racist?"
Archer (2009)
"Those guys, Pam, those exact same guys you just described."
Archer (2009)
"As is leaving before Calderón pays us for that shipment of weapons, so..."
Archer (2009)
"- and his freshly-banged first lady? - His..."
Archer (2009)
"- Oops. - Give me that."
Archer (2009)
"Mother, be careful, that crazy thing's got a mind of its own."
Archer (2009)
"Oof. Oh, Mother."
Archer (2009)
"- Ha ha ha ha. - It's not funny, I actually use mine."
Archer (2009)
"Yes, always. God, you're... What happened to no more"
Archer (2009)
"- Not the first time. - The first time I thought she was the maid."
Archer (2009)
"By threatening to tell Calderón about the first time."
Archer (2009)
"That's the honeypot. How could you fall for that?"
Archer (2009)
"- But, also, I always fall for it. - And now what's to stop her from telling him about"
Archer (2009)
"- the second time? - Hmm. Nothing, she's crazy."
Archer (2009)
"- We're dead. You've killed us. - Me?"
Archer (2009)
"I didn't have a follow-up... to that."
Archer (2009)
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