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Clips from Kevin Can Wait - Kevin's Good Story (S01E01)

"Football's about to start."
Kevin Can Wait
"They kick off, our date night's gonna be..."
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"I just need to finish blow-drying my hair."
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"I'm... I'm not playing anymore."
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"Okay."
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"but I guess that's off the table now."
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"and we could all have a sing-along..."
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"That'd be great."
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"I was in a band in college?"
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"It was good."
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"Hey! You said you were gonna dress up a little."
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"I can move in these, all right? I can do anything."
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"No! What if someone tries to rob us"
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"You'll snap your Achilles and I'll hand him all our money."
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"Ohhh!"
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"Here you go, guys."
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"- Yeah. - Yeah."
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"Oh!"
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"If I wanted to, I could kick an olive off your head,"
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"- It's one little cookie. - Okay."
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"With our feet."
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"You better be doing something good for my girl."
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"to a great Moroccan restaurant."
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"And then we're going to a Broadway musical."
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"Wait, what?"
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""E-STE-fan.""
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"Yeah, at least my night had a theme to it, all right?"
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"This one's got Moroccan food and conga music."
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"I-I don't... Nobody wants to go into it."
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"Honey, nobody wants to hear that story."
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"- Are you kidding me?! - No, no. It's stupid. It doesn't matter."
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"They went on a call"
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"- Okay. - If it had been..."
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"he wouldn't be here today."
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"That is unbelievable."
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"I don't remember."
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"I guess I did."
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"- Me too. - Oh, great."
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"It was my anniversary, and I totally forgot!"
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"I came home, Donna had a card and a gift for me."
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"I had nothing!"
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"My only way out was your story."
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"It worked great, by the way."
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"Again, I panicked."
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"you told me that you couldn't tell Didi the story"
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"Not good."
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"How about you take one of my cool stories?"
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"Because that was me, too."
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"Let's see how he feels after he gets these Omaha Steaks."
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"You really think steaks are gonna fix this?"
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"Those Minions, man."
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"They just don't listen."
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"No, I'm still thinking about those Minions."
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"Listen, the real question is, what are you gonna get Donna?"
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"I'm gonna get her the gift of not knowing the truth."
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"I mean, she finds out now, she'll just get hurt."
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"What if Goody tells her?"
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"- Whoa. Hey. - Whoa."
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"If she cranks up the kettle on Goody,"
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"Oh, wow. Then Didi tells Donna."
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"Okay."
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"Go."
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"Aww."
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"Hey, guys."
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"Uh, in the kitchen with Goody's wife."
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"Okay."
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"She what?"
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"Honey, is that you?"
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"Yeah, I'm just gonna come in there."
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"Chale..."
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"Yeah. I mean, that was just a crazy day."
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"Oh, come on."
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"Would you come and talk to my class of fourth-graders?"
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"They need a role model."
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"How to find a Danish in an abandoned building?"
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"I am back in at J.T. O'Tooles."
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"But, babe, I already told Didi you'd do it."
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"I-I would. I really want to do it for the kids."
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"- Oh, really? - Yeah."
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"I can't do that, but..."
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"Okay."
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"Or hear me out on this one."
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"I tell the story one more time to the kids"
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"And best of all, Donna never gets hurt,"
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"Well, thanks for picking up on that."
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"Much like the ones that paved the road to Hell!"
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"Wow, this took a turn."
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"Gotcha."
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"Understand?"
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"What do you mean, you took care of it?"
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"Well, I can't tell Donna. Today's our anniversary!"
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"Hey, congrats!"
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"Well, what did she say?"
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"Ohh."
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"go easy on him."
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"But I don't need to tell you that. You married him."
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"- You need to shut up. - Yep."
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"I'm sorry. It just pops out when I'm scared."
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"I bet she has an opinion."
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"and make things right."
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"Yeah, well, Gloria Estefan is right."
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"I like it! I like it!"
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"I probably should tell you something first, though."
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"Ohh! Something good?"
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"I might have told it to you a little different"
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"than it actually happened."
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"Oh, yeah. It was crazy, man."
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"I got you."
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"- This'll go to the grave with us. - Yeah."
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"By the way, will you hurry up and get me down?"
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"- Yeah. Yeah. - Oh!"
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"Ow! You're pinching me!"
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"No, no, no, no."
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"You can't even get out of a hammock."
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"Well..."
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"Come on!"
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"'Cause I forgot our anniversary."
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"Wow."
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"Well, you should be."
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"We didn't celebrate our anniversary for two years."
Kevin Can Wait
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